All Comments on 'To Break a Filly Ch. 04'

Good story, but for someone named Disclaimersbedamned, you sure have an incessant need to include disclaimers, which amounts to the simple arrogant need to hear yourself talk. Just give us the story and shut up. It is already in the NonCon category, so yeah - we get that there will be NonCon already. You don't need to repeatedly tell us or go into your writing process. Just write the story, let it stand alone, and get out of your own way as a writer and our way as readers. If it is not the actual narrative, then you're wasting everyone's time....

...needs to re-read what they wrote. That was plain rude and over the top.

Although it is true that a reader browsing this particular category should know what they're getting into, there's always those people who still find the need to express their shock/disgust at reading about such scenarios.

Perhaps one might only favor a theme of slight reluctance but have no interest whatsoever in full-blown non-consensual fics. Who knows? That disclaimer may be unnecessary to some but at the same time, it could end up deterring others from reading something that they are probably better off not reading about.

DBD, liking the story and all the implications of what might happen. I wonder if I'm imagining the comparison between the two different types of 'Dominant/Master' in their way of referring to Lindsay as 'Filly' and 'Pet' and whether it might end up in an elevated rivalry over her.....but I could be wrong.

This simply wasn't worth reading. It held nothing clever or erotic. It certainly wasn't interesting or entertaining. Cardboard characters spouting inane dialogue. It was both implausible and unbelievable at the same time. Even for fiction I found myself shaking my head and thinking "REALLY?" In the end, I found it to be not worth the time spent to read it. You don't need to continue as you have created nothing worth continuing.

You certainly have my attention. Bring it on fella coz I'm loving this

Well u other commenters are fucking contradictory. I don't understand why u would continue reading until chapter 4 if you clearly didn't like it from the start...makes no sense. But if it means anything, I think it is amazing and can't wait for the next chapters to come!

But lost momentum fast for me. It feels like a giant cliche at this point. I can't quite put my finger on why....I guess it's the characters and the predictable things they say and do. The endless internal thoughts and dialogue doesn't help. Also every time Chad uses "filly" to refer to Lindsay I just cringe. If a man ever called me that I'd have to laugh in his face. It's not sexy or cute.

Am I supposed to feel bad for this jackass who kidnapped someone and intends on doing god knows what to them? I understand he has "this monster" inside him but it doesn't even seem like he thought his plan through. What does he intend on doing once "his filly" is broken? What an idiot. Jack's not much better.

Don't listen to all the negative I think your writing is great

4b16

A friend and I have been reading this story And wondering how it would turn out. The disclaimer at the end of this chapter excited me and I really hope you can make it live up to the expectation you've created! A few things though. Some more description in certain areas would be helpful. Like. This is a noncon story so I was hanging to read the bit where he actually takes her. And it's totally glossed over whereas the lead up was very detailed. That would have been hot. Also i did find some of the internal dialogue and emotions confusing. Especially for him to break down now, before he's shown himself to be really bad, and he hasn't totally fallen for her yet or realised he's destroyed her so it was a bit strange? and then to pick himself up and be all okay I'm going to go rape her ass now! I think that it would help for their behaviours to be a bit more consistent, although I get he's trying to wrestle with his demons etc. I think you're sensible to put in disclaimers if it's headed for proper noncon. I would love to see longer chapters with more detail and focus on the hot stuff being the interaction between Chad and Lindsey and the sexy things. I really think you have a great set up here and it could get mad hot here especially where it's left off so. Please lots of detail! Also you had these hot evil daydreams he was having a couple of chapters ago and fuuuuuck were they hot. I'd love more of that. Anyway. Looking forward to the next one thanks!

Thank you to everyone who has commented and sent me messages, even when some are hard to hear, I appreciate that it is your right to love it or hate it. To the anon who doesn't like my disclaimers, I suppose it was a good thing this was my last one. To the anons who hate Chad, Lindsay, Jake, me, and the story thank you for letting us all know, don't feel obliged to continue reading - I release you. To masterfuljim and Clare, and those who are enjoying the story, thank you for your support. Chapter 5 has been the most fun to write so far. Though no rape is involved (sorry if that comes as a disappointment), I promise to provide plenty of mindfuckery. Classes started today so my writing is going to slow down. I hope to post this weekend, knock on wood.

Much love.

There is obviously an internal struggle going on between man and monster. Unlike many of the stories here, this does not take place in an alternate society where it is acceptable for a Dom to exist in this manner. Chad has been raised in a rural environment where a man's hard work and honor is all he truly has claim to. The monster is clearly winning out, but I believe that his upbringing would make it extremely hard for him to accept this despicable side of himself. I think we can all identify with having parts of ourselves that we hate but I imagined him being ashamed of his weakness. That's what the tears were for, that and he feels past the point of no return. Coming to terms with being such an atrocity would be heartbreaking, but his sickness can no longer be deterred (in his mind) whether he likes it or not. It is the good that is still buried deep down that is going to keep him from crossing lines that Litland has banned.

That was my thought process when writing the last scene, if you cared to hear it.

Well explained and pretty much what I had figured. It also isn't out of place in the story either. I'm looking forward to seeing how bad he gets and how much resistance she puts up. I hope personally that she fights big time.

For clarifying. I do get what you're saying about his character. But thanks for expanding. Also, these anons can be awful in the noncon section and it seems like they've said some really unwarranted things. I hope that you're able to ignore it all and continue to write. Good luck

I am loving this story! Please keep it up! I lost sleep reading this, therefore you owe me more *winkwinknudgenudgeyoudontreallyowemethatsajokebutiserioslydolovethis*

Chapter 5 is officially in the queue. Holy crap, I actually hit a personal deadline - crazy, right?

Classes are proving to be as nasty as I thought, but I think I should be able to get Chapter 6 out relatively soon, maybe in the next week or two? Anyway, thank you all for the encouragement! This 'author' (I use that term incredibly loosely) stuff is hard, but I can't tell you how much all of the feedback means to me. So again, thank you.

See you all in 3-7 days.

Much Love!

I just wanted to say, "Thank You!" I appriciate the time and energy you've put into writing this, and the hutzpah it took to share it with the world. I think sometimes people think that just because they're writing erotica, they can take shortcuts in writing quality -of but you are clearly putting in the work. I love the build up, the depth you've given characters (especially Chad) and the thought you've given to the overall plot. Please keep writting; I'm a wee bit addicted to this story.

Oh my snikies....

I love this. Keep it up. Some people are just snags though so ignore them. You're awesome.

What about the poor dog??? I hope her sister or dad gets him.

Keep writing stories. I have throughly enjoyed reading your story thus far and look forward to reading more. As long as one person finds enjoyment in your stories, then you have succeeded.

I've been waiting for you to get real with Lindsay who has been so very full of pride - it's about time the monster in Chad really and truly broke out to teach her all the needed Lessons...