To Love Again Ch. 01

I moan nosily as he plunges into me, working his cock in and out and the sensations are incredible. I grab his arse firmly and help to pull him inside me, thrusting my pelvis up to meet him and crying out every time he drives his cock inside me. We roll over together and I am now on top, riding his cock and watching the expressions of joy on his face every time I bring myself down and grind my pussy onto him.

His hands reach up to play with my nipples as I continue to fuck him, we're both moaning and breathing heavily as we please each other, I know I'm on the verge of another orgasm and by the look on Paul's face so is he. I take hold of his hands and bring him back up into the sitting position; he holds me tight and kisses me hard as we rhythmically rock ourselves back and forth against one another.

My nails scratch his back as my orgasm builds and he pulls me harder to him, deeper inside, the pressure rises and I feel him tense and he groans as he shoots inside of me which tips me over the edge as I scream in delight and fulfillment and cum again.

We stay like that for a while, just holding each other and kissing softly as he strokes my hair. We lay down together satisfied and tired, not speaking, just holding each other and I can feel my eyes starting to close, the wine and the sex taking there toll as I fall asleep in his arms.

I wake up early the next morning still lying in Paul's arms, and in the cold light of day I realize what I have done and begin to panic. I gently and quietly remove myself from Paul and get dressed as quickly as I can without waking him and sneak out of his flat and back to mine where I collapse on the couch and cry.

I sit there hugging my knees and going over what had happened, what I had let happen, what I had actually initiated and I cry harder. How could I do that? I had just gone to bed with a man I hardly knew, I didn't even use protection, ok I am on the pill but that doesn't protect against everything does it. Plus I still love and miss Tom terribly, my head is a mess and my heart is in pain, I cry until my tears run dry and then take a shower to try and wash away my shame.

After my shower I call Mike.

"Hey babe I've been waiting for you to call so, how did it go?"

"Yeah um, you know it was um fine it was just dinner and um we talked and…"

"Oh my god you slept with him didn't you?"

"What? No!"

"Steph come on I know you too well, you did didn't you?"

And again I start to cry, I cannot lie to Mike, he does know me too well.

"Steph, hey come on don't cry you didn't do anything wrong."

"But I barely know him and I still love Tom and it was wrong and I'm such an idiot."

"You're not an idiot and for the last time forget about Tom. So was it good?"

"What?"

"Oh come on Steph tell me was he good, was he better than Tom, Did you enjoy it?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yeah of course it matters, did you enjoy it?"

"Yes I enjoyed it, it was fantastic, mind blowing, earthmoving, is that what you want to hear?"

"If it's the truth then yeah."

"Yeah ok it was good but nothing's going to happen with Paul I'm not ready for another relationship."

"How do you know that if you don't give it a go, how did you leave things with him this morning?"

"Err, I, um…"

"Oh my god you bolted didn't you, did you even speak to him before you left?"

"Well what was I supposed to say? Morning stranger thanks for the shag."

"Oh he's hardly a complete stranger and you can't avoid him you know he lives in your building!"

"Yes I do know that and I will talk to him, just not yet ok."

"Ok but just stop beating yourself up about it."

"I will but I've got to go now, I'll call you later."

"Ok babe, just look after yourself alright."

"I will bye."

It's Sunday afternoon, the worst day off the week. I hate Sundays since Tom left, it used to be our favorite day together and we would spend all day in bed, or go for long walks and have lunch in a little café some where, we were happy. But he's gone now and I know that. I have to get out of the house so I grab my bag and open the door, just as Paul is about to knock on it.

"Can I come in?"

"Actually I was just on my way out."

"Well I think we need to talk."

And with that he walks straight into my flat, which is a complete mess by the way and stands in the middle of the room with a well explain yourself look on his face.

"You didn't say goodbye this morning, you just left, why?"

"Look Paul, about last night I'd had too much wine and I don't know what came over me."

"Don't tell me it was a mistake Steph."

"It was a mistake, we hardly know each other, I'm just not ready for this, I'm sorry I should never of gone to bed with you, I don't make a habit of sleeping with people I don't know."

"What and you think I do? You're not the only person to ever get hurt you know."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means you can't let a past relationship stand in the way of a new one, you went to bed with me last night because you wanted to, because there is this connection between us, there's chemistry, I felt that last night and I know you did too."

"Paul I think you're reading too much in to this, it was just sex that's all and it shouldn't have happened."

"That's crap and you know it, how can you say that it was just sex Steph, I was there remember and you know that it was so much more than that, you're lying to me and you're lying to yourself."

"I'm sorry Paul but I'd like you to leave now please."

He walks up to me and looks me in the face, I cannot meet his gaze, he strokes my cheek which shoots waves of pleasure down to my crotch as I remember him being inside me last night. He kisses my cheek and walks out the door. Again I cry, I cry because I know he's right, I did feel it too.

I do go out, I need to clear my head so I go for a walk, I'm not sure where I just kind of shuffle along not paying attention. I reach a little coffee shop and go in, as I walk up to the counter I hear a girl giggling on one of the sofas, I turn to the sound and see a couple kissing and cuddling, I'm about to turn away from the nauseating sight when I realize I recognize the man, yep you guessed it it's Tom. I spot him just as he looks up and sees me, I hurry out of the shop feeling sick to the stomach, I don't know whether to cry or applaud myself for being right, I knew there had to be somebody else even though he denied it which now shows me he's a coward as well as a wanker.

I walk back home in a daze not really knowing what to do, my mobile beeps 1 new message, it's from Tom.

I'm sorry Steph, I should Have told you, I hope You're alright, Tom x

I delete the message and don't bother to reply, to be honest at the moment I don't really care who he's shagging I'm too numb and too tired to care about anything. I go back to my flat and pour myself a glass of wine and mull over the last 24 hours, sleeping with Paul, seeing Tom with someone else, hurting Paul, did I hurt him? Then I think how I would feel if I slept with someone I really liked and woke up to find them gone in the morning only to have them say it was a mistake, I would think he was a user, is that what I am, did I use Paul?

I had just had a one night stand, got what I wanted and then said see ya later. Now I feel truly terrible, my emotional state of mind and personal traumas doesn't give me the excuse to hurt someone else and as much as I like him, and I do like him I feel like I've used him, I have to talk to Paul, apologize to him, but a part of me is scared to see him again, will the chemistry still be there?

I take a deep breath and go to Paul's flat; before I can talk myself out of it I knock on his door and wait. He opens it and says nothing, he just looks at me and walks away leaving the door open, so I go in and immediately I'm having flash backs of last night, of him kissing me and touching me and I have to fight like hell to push those thoughts out of my head and get on with why I'm here, to apologize.

"Paul, I'm sorry for what happened I have no excuses for you, what I did and how I treated you this morning was really shitty and for that I apologize."

"Was that it?"

"Paul, please don't be angry with me, I'm not myself right now, I can't do anything about that or what I've done except apologize."

"Stop hiding behind your pain and admit that there's something between us, I want you Steph and I think you want me too, that's why you're here, because you can't stop thinking about last night, you're just scared to admit it."

"No Paul, I just came to say sorry that's all."

"I don't believe you, look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing for me."

He walks right up to me and looks into my eyes; I return his stare and try to talk.

"Tell me; tell me you feel nothing for me Steph."

"I, I um, I."

"You can't do it can you?"

He kisses my cheek.

"Are you thinking about last night?"

He kisses my other cheek.

"Do you want me Steph, do you want me how you had me last night when you fucked me?"

He kisses my mouth, I'm paralyzed, his hand goes under my skirt and rubs at my pussy, still I say nothing, and his hand slips inside my thong and rubs my wet slit.

"You're wet Steph, am I turning you on, do you want me Steph, do you?"

He continues to rub my pussy and I can't stop him, I don't want to stop him, but I can't tell him that I want him either so I just stand there moaning as he strokes me.

He leans forwards and whispers in my ear.

"If you tell me to stop I will."

And with that he pushes two fingers deep inside me and fucks me with his hand, I am too weak to fight it as he kisses me, I kiss him back hard and he pulls me down on the couch, he rips of my underwear and plunges his cock inside of me, fucking me hard. He fucks me with a force, driving his cock in deep like he's trying to punish and please me at the same time, but I have to say that I love it and I want it. We're both grunting like animals and already I want to cum, I need to cum but he slows down, torturing me.

"Tell me you want me Steph."

"Please, oh please."

He slows down even more.

"Tell me Steph."

"I want you." I scream.

He picks up the pace again and fucks me with a passion, we're both screaming and panting hard as we reach our peak and I scream out in orgasm as he cums inside of me. He kisses me again, softer this time, taking his time, I return the slow soft kiss and give into the fact that even though I still love Tom I do have feelings for this man even though it is probably just lust at this time.

We spend the next few weeks getting to know each other better, we talk a lot finding out everything we can about one another, about our families, friends our lives, I even tell him all about Tom and he listens and hugs me and tells me he will never hurt me like that, he even gets on great with Mike. So I guess you can say we our now officially a couple and even though I still have feelings for Tom I'm thinking about him less and less and haven't had contact with him since the coffee shop incident, dare I say that things are actually going really well for me at the moment I'm even going to open up the bookshop soon, I finally feel ready to go back to work.

"Morning gorgeous, I've brought you some breakfast; you've got a big day today opening the shop, I'm so proud of you Steph."

Paul walks into my bedroom wearing nothing but a little apron carrying a tray of eggs and bacon, a fresh pot of coffee and a flower between his teeth, I smile, this morning I am happier than I have been in a long while.

"You're too good to me, put the tray down and come here."

He smiles that sexy smile of his, takes of the apron and jumps into bed beside me and covers me in kisses. I slide my hand down under the sheet and wrap it around his already hard cock.

"Stephanie Shaw you're going to be late and on your first day back."

"I'm the boss, I'm allowed to be late but I promise to give myself a written warning as soon as I get in."

He laughs and kisses me some more as I continue to stroke his cock, running my hand up and down his shaft making him moan in my mouth as he kisses me, massaging my breast at the same time. He rolls on top of me kissing my neck and nibbling on my ear, working his way down to my breasts, flicking his tongue over my nipples and sucking them into his mouth. He kisses down my stomach to my inner thighs, licking them up to my pussy and down again, teasing me.

When I finally feel his tongue on my pussy lips I moan, this is a man who knows what to do with his tongue. He runs it around the outside of my lips first making me tingle with excitement, gently sucking them into his mouth before he lets his tongue slip inside me, inserting it deep within my folds, licking every inch of me. When he eventually draws out his tongue he kisses me ever so lightly on my clit, just letting his lips graze it for a second, then darting out his tongue to lap at it.

I'm wet beyond belief as he keeps this up and I'm moaning uncontrollably as he builds me up to my orgasm, plummeting his fingers back deep inside of me and sucking my clit at the same time. I'm writhing around and bucking my hips to meet his fingers as I feel my orgasms welcome arrival and I cry out in pure perpetual pleasure as I cum.

Before my orgasm can leave my body Paul drives his cock inside me and starts thrusting, fueling my orgasm and keeping it going and going and all I can do is moan and scream as the power of it rocks my body to new heights, making me cum again and again. But still he has not finished with me yet, he lifts my legs and places them on his shoulders lifting my arse of the bed so he can fill me deeper and he does.

His cock sinks into me further keeping my orgasm going and making me scream louder, he's pumping in and out of me harder as his orgasm rises and he screams my name as he cums in me and then I scream his as I cum for the final time that morning.

I go to work with a smile on my face and an aching in my crotch and it's great to be back at work again, I've missed this place. I pick up the stack of mail that's accumulated since my absence and dump it on the counter when the phone rings.

"Hello Stephanie's books."

"Hi Hun it's me just ringing to wish you good luck on your first day back."

"Aaawww thanks Mike; it's so great to be back."

"You sound happy; things are going well with Paul I take it?"

"Very well, he's cooking me dinner tonight to celebrate my first day back at work."

"And how's the sex, still great?"

"Mike!"

"Oh come on I'm not getting any at the moment so you can at least tell me how yours is."

"Well put it this way, I was late for work this morning."

"I'm glad it's going so well, you'll be moving in together before long."

"Blimey calm down, we've only been together a couple of months."

"Do you love him?"

"What?"

"Do you love him?"

Just then the bell above the door rings, I turn to look at the customer and see Tom standing there staring at me with an uneasy smile on his face.

"Mike I have to go, I've um got a customer."

I put the phone down and stand there in shock I don't know what to say, I don't know what he's doing here, I know the logical thing to do would be to ask him, but I seem to have lost the power of speech right now.

"Hi Steph, how are you?"

"I, um, I'm, what the hell are you doing here Tom?"

"I wanted to see you, you look great."

"What do you want Tom?"

"I want you back Steph, I've missed you, and it's over between me and Danielle."

"So that was her name was it, the woman you left me for, the reason you ended our 4 year relationship and now she's dumped you you think you can come running back to me and I'll welcome you with open arms, is that it?"

"I ended it with her Steph, I swear, I missed you and I want to give it another go, please just give me another chance."

"You too late Tom, I'm seeing somebody else."

"Is it serious?"

"I don't really think that's any of your business."

"Do you love him?"

Oh for gods sake why does everyone keep asking me that today and how dare he just come in here and start shooting questions at me, I thought he was out of my life for good, I'd gotten over him, hadn't I?

"What right do you have to ask me that, you were the one who left remember, you broke my heart I begged you not to go and you just left without a second thought for me or what we had and now you realize the grass isn't so green on the other side you want me to give you a second chance?"

"I still love you Steph."

"Fuck off."

"Do you still love me?"

"Get out of my shop."

"You haven't answered my question; do you still love me Steph?"

"I'm with someone else now Tom."

"That's not what I asked you."

"Just go please Tom."

"Ok I'll go but take this."

"What is it?"

"It's my new address."

"I don't want it."

"I won't leave until you take it."

I take the piece of paper and stuff it in my bag.

"Now go."

He opens the door to leave and turns to look at me.

"I do love you Steph."

"Goodbye Tom."

And then he leaves the shop shattering my happiness and leaving me more confused than ever, do I still love Tom? Have I fallen in love with Paul? I don't know, I just don't know.