Touch Ch. 05

The move down to her college was a pain in the ass. Kerry didn't want to get rid of anything and I was willing to see it all burn for all I cared. We did our best to split the difference and stuffed what we could into our mother's SUV and my car. We still needed to rent a U-Haul, but we managed to get it all in only two trips.

I found a decent apartment with two rooms a few miles away from her university and we moved in, stuffing all the extra crap in every nook we could. We set up both rooms as if we were going to live in them, but she stayed in my bed every night. Things started off good, with her doing surprisingly well on her finals as the semester ended.

Now I was sitting in the tiny space that passed for our living room fuming. It was after one in the morning and I was loosing it. My fingers were traveling over each other in a desperate bid to alleviate some of my need to touch her, feeling the smooth fingernails that were starting to shine from constant polishing. I bit my lip hard, over and over again as I thought about the silken feel of Kerry's skin against mine, so long denied. I was staring at myself in the blank television screen, seeing a darker but no less pissed off version staring back.

I hadn't been able to spend any time with Kerry for three days now and I couldn't deal with it anymore. My job, the usual nine to five crap, kept me away during the day when she was there. By the time I got home she was out with her friends doing whatever it is college kids do during the summer break. I had to go to bed early enough to get up to make it to work so I wasn't awake when she crawled into bed with me late at night. She even managed to find reason to be gone most of the weekends as well. That wasn't the worst of it though.

Dave. That was the worst of it. Her boyfriend Dave. That's right, she still had a boyfriend. The same one she'd told me about sucking off. That Dave. I hated him, but she wouldn't dump him.

He was a nice enough kid, or so it seemed when he was around me. Truth be told, all I knew about him was what Kerry told me and she positively fawned over him. She insisted she wouldn't cheat on me with him, but I couldn't bring myself to believe her. She'd told me herself that he expected sex from her. How could she expect me to believe that would just go away all of a sudden?

I had finally decided to stay up and wait for her. It was a pretty easy decision though, it was a Friday night. With no reason to get up early in the morning I could sit and wait for my sister to get back for as long as necessary. Unfortunately that just meant I could stew in my own frustration and rage just as long.

Finally I heard her working the key into the lock of our door, giggling loudly and taking several tries to get it unlocked. She poured into the short hall between my kitchen and the closet, stumbling a bit as she continued to laugh. I just ground my teeth and held my silence as I watched her, my hands separating to grip the armrests in a tight hold.

Kerry looked drunk, but I wasn't too sure. She was flushed and way too happy, but maybe she'd just had fun dancing all night. I hated the idea of my sister being one of those crazy drunk chicks that flashed people randomly at clubs. She was supposed to be better than that.

She dropped her purse from her shoulder into the closet and kicked off her heeled shoes, turning to laugh over her shoulder at someone who wasn't inside yet. I was ready to kill someone if it was Dave coming home with her. To my surprise, a tall blonde girl giggled her way into my apartment behind my sister, her face bright with mirth.

The girl looked pretty good from where I sat, thin but curvy with the classic build of a mature woman. She had big tits and what looked to be a round full ass and I could tell she knew all of that and more. She was essentially the opposite of Kerry and I felt my face contort into a look of disapproval. I wanted her gone before I just let it out on my sister.

They lurched together out of the hallway and into the living room, not seeing me right away as they collapsed together on the couch still giggling. I waited for one of them to notice me but they just kept right on laughing together.

"What's so funny?" I asked and they both gave little yelps of surprise as I made my presence known. I was too pissed off not to glare at them both and Kerry's face flashed with fear as she took in my look.

"Ah, nothing Jay. I didn't see you there." Kerry blurted as she studied my face.

"And yet here I am." I growled back. "Who's your friend?"

"Oh, um this is, um, Beth." She said and I wondered how well she knew the girl if she couldn't remember her name. "Beth, this is Jay. He's my brother."

"Yeah, you told me. Nice to meet you Jay." She smiled wide and drew her eyes over me before looking down and to the side to study my sister's hands in her lap.

"Did you guys have fun?" I asked, my voice still harsh with anger.

"Ye...yeah. We uh, we went dancing." Kerry responded and Beth looked up at me with bright blue eyes.

"Your sister is crazy! She was dancing for like, hours and I couldn't even keep up!" Beth let her words tumble out in a rush that was so fast it took me a few seconds to understand it all.

"Well she is a dancer."

"Yeah, that's one way to put it. You should have seen the boys drooling over her all night!" Kerry looked away in embarrassment and I scowled deep at her friend. "Oh, you probably don't want to hear about that though."

"No, go ahead. Tell me about the boys." I was on the verge of loosing it as I imagined the worst. It didn't seem very likely that my sister would go fuck some random guy from a club but the thought still spun wildly through my head.

"Well, they were constantly trying to dance with her. I had a few too, but damn she was so sexy they were like, all over her!" My hands tightened painfully on the armrests but she didn't notice and went on. "I mean, I know she has a boyfriend and all but she could have had anyone at the club tonight. It was crazy!"

"Sounds it," I grated out and Kerry did her best to shush her friend.

"Beth why don't you head home. It's kinda late and..."

"Ah, do I have to? I was just getting to know your brother." She smiled wide at me and I wondered how she couldn't see the anger that was bubbling in me.

"Yeah. I think Jay wants to go to bed soon and we aren't gonna be very quiet if you stay so..." Kerry paused to lead Beth to the inevitable conclusion but the girl refused to follow.

"Huh. What do you think Jay?" She appealed to me, no doubt certain that I would want to fuck her enough to have her stick around.

"I think you've had your fun for the night and should probably leave." I barely managed not to yell at her. Her face fell and she frowned deep as she looked between my sister and me. After a moment that she dragged out as long as possible she finally stood up from the couch.

"Alright. Sorry to over stay my welcome. I'll see ya tomorrow Kerry." She said as she made her way out of the apartment.

"I'll call." Kerry answered and Beth just nodded as she disappeared through the door. "You didn't have to be an asshole Jay."

"I'm starting to think I should have been an asshole a long time ago." I growled back and she squirmed in her seat before answering.

"What's wrong? Why are you so pissed off?"

"Why the fuck do you think?" My voice climbed to just under a yell. "I haven't seen you for three days and it was four days before that!"

"Jay..."

"Don't give me the 'I'm busy' bullshit! It's summer, you don't have any responsibilities and yet you can't at least wait to see me in the evening before you go out!" I was full on yelling now but she weathered it well, not even shrinking from me.

"Jay! I have friends! I can't just ignore them. They would be suspicious if all I wanted to do was stay home with my brother." She explained just as she had so many times before.

"I don't give a fuck about your friends!" I screamed at her and she finally broke under the pressure.

"Well I do! Fuck Jay! Give me some fucking slack here! This isn't easy!" She yelled right back at me, rising from where she sat to lean into her effort.

"I've been giving you slack and you've been taking it right up!" I argued back as I rose from my seat as well. "If you can't stand to be around me then just tell me and stop torturing me by hiding from me!"

"Damn it Jay, that's not how I feel!"

"Well it sure as fuck seems like it!"

"Well it isn't." She lost her fire and sank back down to the couch looking sad and near tears. "I just...I can't let us get caught. I can't, it would be too much. I have to try to act normal. You know that."

"I know. But do you have to be so damn normal?" I let my anger slip away a bit as well, though I kept my feet. "I mean shit, you still have a boyfriend."

"Jay we talked about that already."

"Yeah, and I wasn't satisfied with how we left it." I shot back.

"I can't dump him, he hasn't done anything wrong." She explained weakly and my rage stirred again.

"So fucking what? Get rid of him anyway. What reason do you have to keep him Kerry? What does he do for you that I don't?" I was pressing too hard now but I couldn't stop myself.

"Jay..."

"Does he eat you better than me? Huh? Does he...?"

"Stop it Jay! You know I haven't had sex with him. You know that!"

"I don't know shit!" I growled back at her and she quailed. "All I know is that you told me he expects sex out of you before but now you seem to think that he doesn't anymore. What the fuck kind of sense does that make?"

"Jay please!" She begged me to stop but I couldn't, I had to get it out.

"Shit Kerry, you're out so much I have no idea when you're with him and when you're not. For all I know you just finished fucking him tonight and got Beth to come over so I wouldn't know it!" That was too much, too distrusting of me and I wanted to take it back as tears fell from her eyes.

"No Jay! No! You know me better than that! Please, please tell me you don't think that!" She gasped and I turned away from her to gather my self control.

"The point isn't that I think you did that tonight or any other night. The point is I have no way to know. You don't tell me shit about what you do every night so I just sit here and worry about it. Don't you realize how hard that is for me?" I asked as my voice broke and fear replaced anger. "Don't you realize that every day it seems like I'm loosing you more and more?"

"How do you think I feel Jay?"

"I don't know."

"God, how could you not? I'm trying to keep everything together, trying to stay close to you but keep my friends happy too. It's hard! Very hard!" I shook my head and sat back down in my recliner to stare at her across the room.

"I feel like I try so hard, but it just isn't enough for you. Everyday I can see how frustrated you are, even if it is only for a few minutes at a time. I wish things could be better, but I just don't know how to get them there." She said softly as her tears dried up. I gave a sigh of frustration and resignation at that.

"I don't want you to feel like that Kerry. I don't want you to have to juggle so much at once. I just want you to be happy, not someone who tries to please everyone all the time."

"I know. I know." She whispered and I stood again to walk over to her.

We melted together and held each other as if our lives depended on it. Her scent burned into my nose, strong from a long night of exertion. The twist that identified her as my sister turned my stomach and I fought it down.

"Look, we need to come to some sort of agreement." I started and she looked up at me with watery brown eyes.

"What do ya mean?" She asked, looking so cute as she frowned in confusion.

"We need to set aside time to be together. We need to talk more. We need to tell each other everything. I mean everything, so we won't have any doubt. You get what I mean?"

"Yeah, I guess." I was thinking she'd confess to being sexual with Dave but she just left it at that.

"Seriously, you have to tell me when you're going out. You have to tell me where you're going and who you're with, even if it's after the fact. I need to know, I just..."

"I understand," she mumbled and dropped her head against my chest. "You don't trust me anymore."

I tensed at that, wanting to deny it but unable to lie to her. I struggled with myself, trying to find when exactly I decided that Kerry was lying to me. How had things gotten so fucked up?

"You're right, I don't. God! I wish I could, but I just can't."

"I know. You think I've been cheating on you with Dave." She didn't sound defensive, just sad at the loss of my trust. "How could you not? You'd have to be an idiot to just take me at my word."

"Kerry..."

"No, you're right." She said as once again she met my eyes. I was confused by her look, not angry but more like resigned. "How could you trust me after I told you I didn't want anyone but you and then went out and got some other boyfriend?"

"I'm sorry..." I tried to get out but she just spoke right over me.

"Don't apologize. It's not your fault Jay." She shook her head. "It's my fault. I just can't break it off with him. I want to, but I just can't. I'm scared. I'm too weak to get rid of him."

"Kerry please..." She sounded so sad that it was starting to really tug at my heart.

"I wish I could be better Jay, I really do. I just can't." I pulled her tight against me as much to quiet her as to reassure her.

We held each other tight for a long time, not kissing or touching but just clinging to each other desperately. I felt like I was drowning and Kerry was my only salvation but at the same time we were dragging each other down too. I kissed the top of her head and caressed her hair as we rose out of whatever held us.

"I love you Kerry. We can work this out. We have to work it out." I said firmly and she shook a bit against me.

"I have to dump Dave. I have to get rid of him. It's not worth keeping him as a cover if it tears us apart." She hissed into my shirt.

"I think you should dump him Kerry." I mumbled into her hair and she nodded.

"I will Jay. As soon as possible. I promise."

"I'm sorry I'm so neurotic about this Kerry."

"It's alright, I understand. I couldn't handle it if you had a girlfriend too." She looked up at me and I leaned down to kiss her softly. She returned the kiss just as light and I felt my frustration slip away as if it had never been.

"We haven't fucked in so long I'm starting to wonder if everything still works." She mumbled against my lips. I frowned at her and she giggled softly at my moment of ego.

"I can assure you, everything works just fine." I grumbled against her mouth and she sat up to throw a leg over me. She ground her tight little ass down on me and moaned at the feel of my hard on.

"I can tell!" She gasped back and then kissed me hard. We wrestled with each other's tongues, pent up sexual frustration blooming between us and pushing us toward a long session of make up sex.

"Oh God! I can't wait, I can't wait!" She said in an out of breath voice as she circled her hips on me, pushing down hard to crush my cock painfully against my jeans. She writhed on me a bit and then reached down to pull her light dress up over her head and toss it off.

"How are you so beautiful?" I asked as her glorious body was once again displayed to me. She was wearing simple white underwear, with a tiny bra wasting time on her chest. I couldn't convince her to forgo ever putting another bra on. She seemed to think she couldn't be decent without it.

"It's only for you!" She groaned back as her now panty clad ass worked hard over my dick. "I swear! No one else! Ever!"

I growled wordlessly and lifted her by her armpits to make her stand before me. I let my hands do what they wanted, reaching out to swirl through the amazing perfection of her midsection as I looked up at her. She shivered as if being tickled and swayed on her feet.

"I love the way you touch me Jay!" She moaned and I grunted back. Suddenly my hands gripped the waist band of her panties and yanked them down her creamy thighs to just past her knees. I leaned in and took a big whiff of her rapidly moistening pussy.

"I can't wait either!" I let out as my nose buried itself in her thin strip of pubic hair and my tongue lashed out to be burned by her intense heat. I'd almost forgotten how good it felt when my tongue went numb from that heat, it had been so long.

I breathed deep her scent, feeling it twist through me and force my dick to strain even harder to be free from its confines. Her pussy was so damn good, so powerfully fragrant, that there was none of the smell that turned my stomach. It was just pure sex that filled me.

"Kerry! Tell me what you want and we'll do it! Anything, I swear I'll do anything you want!" I hissed as my breath flowed over her boiling hot sex. She shuddered and her knees went weak from the feel of it.

"I want you to punish me Jay!" She groaned and I pulled back in surprise.

"What?"

"I've been bad! I need you to put me in my place and punish me!" She explained as her eyes opened to look down at me.

"Kerry..."

"You said anything Jay. This is what I want." She was determined and I was confused. How was I supposed to punish her?

"I won't hurt you."

"I don't want you to. Just...deny me. Deny me the way I've been denying you."

"You mean...?"

"Don't let me cum. Not tonight, not tomorrow, not all weekend long. Use me but don't pleasure me. That's what I want." She drew her hands through my short hair and her eyes were bright with love.

"I...I don't..." I stammered and she cut me off again.

"I know you don't like that. I know. That's why I have to ask for it. That's why I have to have it. You have to be selfish Jay, you deserve it." I pulled my face tight against her flat belly and I felt the smooth skin on my stubbled jaw.

"I am selfish Kerry. Every time. I love making you cum, I live for it."

"I know," she whispered as her hands swept over my head to cup my chin. "But I want you to focus on yourself this time. I want you punish us both with it."

She raised my head so I was looking in her eyes again and I could see how serious she was. It was such an odd request, but I could understand where it came from. She was trying to affect a change in us, to do more than cover the wound with a band aid of make up sex. After a weekend like that I couldn't imagine not appreciating her more.

"You're sure?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"I'm sure Jay. I'm sure." She whispered and I stood to press our bodies against each other. She kissed me hard and reached down to grip me through my jeans as my hips pushed to get inside her. It was painfully frustrating to still be dressed at that point and all I wanted was to be naked with her.

"Let me get undressed and..."

"No. Don't do it yourself. Make me do it for you. Make me do everything for you. Use me, all weekend long. Please Jay!" I looked her in the eye and sought out reassurance that she could take the kind of treatment she was asking for. All I found was bright eager love.

"I don't know if I can be mean to you." I said as she rubbed her nose against mine.

"Then don't. Just be...lazy. Just let me do everything. Please Jay!" She whispered. I groaned back and finally understood that she knew what she was asking for. It would be difficult for us both but I was willing to give it a shot.

"Take my shirt off," I said in a firm but soft tone. She immediately reached up to pull the t-shirt from my body and toss it onto the couch behind me. "The jeans too."

Again she pulled my clothing off, falling to her knees to pull the jeans from around my ankles and then looking up at me as my hard cock bobbed in front of her. I knew she wanted to suck me, I could see how badly she wanted it in her eyes.