All Comments on 'Trespassers Beware'

This is by far the best story I've read on this site in a very long time. It is VERY hot and well-written. Thanks for sharing.

I would have thought that a famous, successful author would do better than nonsensical sentences like "I generate more money in a weeks time then what you can in an entire year."

The last sentence is terrible, too - "The girls stood their butt naked"

but the characterisation and the writing were.

wickedly poor grammar and word choices

When you get out of prison you should try learning to read and write.

Don't let yourself be discouraged because some people are too stupid to tell the difference between a fantasy and real life.

Hey, thanks for the positive comments and even the negative ones. I appreciate your feedback, no matter how it is directed. I don't know why I am going to prison, I specified that all the characters were 18 or older. I am new to this style of writing and it has been awhile since I have wrote seriously. I apologize for not proofreading my content more closely. Hopefully, I will continue to improve my writing and grammar skills.

Thanks

Anon in Canada, we get your point, don't have to tell us ten times about it. author please erase all but one of this idiots comment.

PLEASE decide if you're writing in first or third person. Then fix the rest of the mechanics. There's no such thing as "soap scuds"; It's soap suds. And the use of "their" versus "there" and "affect" when it should have been "effect." There are plenty of other similar mechanical issues that were distracting, and even in porn it should be done right. That said, the story was incredibly hot! So get someone to proofread and keep writing.