by BenevolentDCC
Hey great story I enjoyed all of it, but please get your facts straight. I the last chapter she was three years younger at first then she is only a year longer. Same goes for the parents first he had to kiss her to mute her moaning so their parents wouldn't hear them, then now they are out of time only a couple of hours later.. Else wise the story is good with nice descriptions and a good setting.
Thank you for your constructive criticism. I have scoured the two installments and corrected the mistakes I made. I will be posting a combined story (Beginning to end) and therein the story will be agreeable between chapters. Thank you for your instruction and your praise.
Your attention to detail plus taking things slowly made this a very erotic story. Keep up the good work.
Well I don't have any complaints, except that its five am and now I'm horny as fuck after that awesome buildup and am weighing the dangers of waking my wife up two hours early for some quality time ;)
Good story, well written. I like the use of imagery in your writing. However, you need to keep track of some details. In chapter one, you mention that Jericho was three years older than Samantha; "Since she had been a little girl, Samantha had been terrified of storms and had always gone to her brother (three years older and therefore more formidable against storms, she had confessed to him later)". But in the beginning of this chapter, Samantha remembers a time when they were kids bathing together and you set their ages one year apart; "A time when she and Jericho were still young enough to bathe together. He was 5 and she was 4."