All Comments on 'Trust'

by estragon

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  • 11 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Lesbian also commits adultery

Put this under the Gay genre ,I do not recognize same sex marriage.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
Who gives a shit

what you 'recognize' anon?

Well written story, plenty of literary references and subtle humor, good read.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago
More ??

I liked the way you tried to tell this story with a bit of humour. But I didn't like the way you painted the guy who, apparently, suffered very much from the loss of his wife of many years. With a practice of 40 years, his army days were gone long time ago, he surely was no match for those younger cousins, especially when you're not a suyperman like in mnay other stories here. Clearly, there's also no "family spirit" in this italian-american clan. They have use for him when he can save them money, but doesn't count for a dime otherwise. I think you could have made this story a lot better by deepening the characters. As of now, it's too much on the surface. And the ending ? There's simply no real ending here.

H.H.MorantH.H.Morantabout 13 years ago
Liked this story very much, but ...

I think that your introduction of the Don, and the "payback" and such muddied the waters. It was a distraction and served to advance the story not a bit.

As an old lawyer I enjoyed the back story a lot - one of the first times in many years that a lawyer character actually sounded like one.

estragonestragonabout 13 years agoAuthor
The Contraction, or Slang Term, "Fridge" is Based

not on "refrigerator", as a previous poster (who has never posted any story) erroneously supposes, but rather on an early brand called "Frigidaire", a pioneer manufacturer of electric refrigerators. As for getting lost after the first few paragraphs, s/he would have done better to get lost at the first sentence, and to have stayed lost thereafter.

As for family loyalty, that is unhappily as rare in as many real families as in my fictional one.

As far as the story sounding like it was written by a lawyer, in fact it was. And as for some elements of the back story, they are definitely based on real events.

Finally, Grand Master dweaver999 posted one of his "Valerie" series stories, a day before this story, also entitled "Trust." He is a much better writer than I. If you don't like my story, read his.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago

I gave up about half way through, going by the story and your comments to others, you seem to have a need to use all big words you can find. I got bored with the story that seemed to go around in circles with no real ending in sight.

"as a previous poster (who has never posted any story) erroneously supposes" (from your comment) Just because someone hasn't written any stories, there is no need to belittle them, you writers seem to think its OK to do that to your readers, but if someone says they don't like your story, or gives criticism that the writer deems wrong in their opinion, it's open season to belittle them. Granted there are a lot of comments that are nasty and are uncalled for, but as a writer surely you'd have to expect to get these comments when you put your work out there to be read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
I call bullshit! Mr. Paws defends the story.

That you wrote a story in The King's English, and then must suffer to be upbraided by these grade-school dropouts for using any words whatsoever of more than two syllables; is this what America has come to?

-

You, Sir, are a writer of no mean talent. No, you write stories with wit and play enough for readers of every stripe, and why should you dumb-down your work for such low lifes? I say you, sir, well done, and well written with humour and wit and emotion and pathos, ... a rollicking good read, and I thank you for it.

I rest my case. (I had no trouble following it, with a high-school education only).

Perhaps the whiners lost the story's thread when they didn't know who Mr. Foreman was or why he should suffer to be introduced to the fine Bauerenwuersts. Perhaps they have such bitter contempt for lawyers that they subscribe to "Dick the Butcher's" ** Philosophy, because their crimes were so ill planned, so stupid, that their court appointed lawyers couldn't get them acquitted; having been caught before they could even flee the scene after their crimes (here, In Flagrante Delicto -- [as opposed to In Flagrante Delicat- that is Crepes Suzette]). Their only supportable defense is ignorance, and so it must be ignored.

Thank you, again,

Sincerely Jenner Ce'Paws

** Henry the Sixth: Part 2 Act 4, scene 2, 71–78. by Bill S.

AnonymousAnonymousover 12 years ago
As a bear of very little brain

I found the story to be well written. I had little problem following and understanding the words as written.

So many kindergarten dropouts have issues with understanding words of more than one half syllable. My sincere condolences to the others in their lives.

I will sign off as Anymouse; since I do not wish to suffer the same fate over the words in my ramblings

bruce22bruce22over 12 years ago
Very enjoyable story

The characters are strong, the language is full of references. The only problem is that I should have really read this before reading "Go for Broke"! It clarifies things a bit.

tazz317tazz317almost 12 years ago
FAMILIES DEVOTION

is a thing to behold. TK U MLJ LV NV

rightbankrightbankabout 9 years ago
I love it when anon

posts a lecture on morality, passing judgments on Lit.

How screwed up can you get, when you read a story and then procede to take "the higher ground" by telling an author you disagree with their category choice because of what you accept or reject in someone else's bedroom?

lol

Anonymous
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