All Comments on 'Twenty Minutes Ch. 02'

Another terrific effort. The idea of undoing the affair was a stroke of genius. I cant wait to see how you pull that off. Every thing about this chapter rings true. The characters are consistent and the dialogue seems to fit them perfectly. Even Alexs unpredictability is consistent. The actions of both of them seem reasonable and believable. Thanks

Another terrific effort. The idea of undoing the affair was a stroke of genius. I cant wait to see how you pull that off. Every thing about this chapter rings true. The characters are consistent and the dialogue seems to fit them perfectly. Even Alexs unpredictability is consistent. The actions of both of them seem reasonable and believable. Thanks

I'm looking forward to your conclusion of this story.

Boyd

Ohio, you are one of my favorite authors, but I just didn't care for this episode. I can't see him accepting the offer from the hooker, and I have a harder time accepting that he made love to Angie so soon. The hooker makes no sense to me, unless he was to reject her because he was still confused about his marriage. Where were the STD tests that he should have demanded that Angie take? What about forcing her to go to Tommy's finace with any evidence, and show her that he is a cheating creep? What about forcing Angie to tell Connie's husband about Connie's affair(s)? I'm sorry, but in my opinion Angie has to fix a lot things before her relationship with her husband goes anywhere. That relationship will need a lot of time, and counselling and there is no guarantee that it will work. I'm not sure if I want them to fix their relationship, or get divorced. Connie's husband should divorce her, and dump her cheating ass in the curb. It seems the only way some people learn from making the mistake of adultery, is to lose everything that means anything to them.

Ohio, I really think you dropped the ball with this chapter. I'll read the rest of the story, but I'm not satisfied at all right now.

First let me say your a very good author, and can write some really good stories.

But I have to say chapter 2 was a twist I wasn't expecting. For me it was like finding out the hero of the story was shot and presumed dead. I'm pretty sure I know how part 3 will end, and not by the hints you offered in this story though.

I mean in chapter one you had the husband come home, find his wife in bed with her lover, hear her and her lover going at it, and she didn't call off the afair until she thought she was in danger of getting caught. Your character (the wife or her friend) wasn't really all that remorseful until they got busted. The wife was even willing to let the husband take all the blame of being the only one to have an afair, while listening to bad advice from her friend on how to handle him, and never admitted her part in the scheme till she was totally found out. In chapter one, the way you had the husband find out and handle it was a totally new twist on this story genre. I loved chapter one.

But in chapter two I'm kinda lost. Chapter two for me feels like your shaving the sides off a square peg to make it fit in a round hole. I mean you have developed the husband as a character that is so angry and so hurt by all this, but in chapter two you start down a very quick path of quickly sticking them back together. You even have him get his revenge sex (even though you said thats not what it was) out of the way as quickly as possibly, with a hooker no less so there weren't any attachments to build or break with another woman. And then you have him gushing all over the wife and how much he loves her, but she was really devoid of that love while she was cheating or when she thought he was and thats she was thinking about.

You do mention how the husband is angry in chapter two, but its almost like its a reminder, because the story really doesn't play out like an angry hurt spouse. More like a person only wanting to pretend nothing is wrong while getting back together with his wife. I guess I'm baffled because if it was something that bothered him enough to move out of the house a couple days later he wouldn't be having his wife fly down for sex. Its almost like he was going through the motions of anger.

I'm not saying you don't write good stories, because a couple of yours are amoung my personal favorites. "But" this one plays out like the husband had such a "small" pool of girls to pull from in his world, that after finding out that a younger man is having sex with his wife in his bed minutes before he is supposed to be home, you have the husband's only real main concern is finding ways to get the wife back. Almost like it was all really his fault for how much of a rut their lives fell into and the only way the wife could spice up thier lives was to find a lover.

If you think about it hopefully you understand my point. In part one you have the husband so "hurt" by the wife's actions he won't even stay in the same house, let alone the same room where his wife entertained her lover. Yet in story two you have him chomping at the bit to have sex again with his wife and wanting to quickly do the exactly same things the younger lover did to his wife so he can overwrite in his mind what the wife did with her lover.

I bet in part 3 you may even sprinkle in some conversation pieces where the wife tells the husband that "This time" when they do the items from her list of things she did with her ex-lover, it will be better because it is now being done with her husband and he is, and always was, the better lover. Especially while she and her husband are having sex in her now ex-lovers bed. Maybe so that her now ex-lover can over hear them or see a tape of it? I'm willing to bet thats in there somewhere.

It just feels like the same story (with a slight twist)of "Wife cheats and Husband can't wait to take her back, after pretending to be mad, and toally share some/all of the blame for her cheating" story that alot of other authors write about.

But I will have to admit some mild curiousity about part 3.

what phoenix and risq wrote.

good start, weak 2nd chapter.

hubby to easy to forgive.payback to tommie would be great.he went after a married woman,that a no,no.she lost respect for her hubby by fucking tommie in their bed.

Expectations can be more than possible can't they.

A strong part of credible is plausible.

Sex with her before asking about whether it was safe sex with her lover - plausibly credible?

Why do these injured husbands almost always love thier partner more - and seemingly stronger after her affair - even finding ways he may or did contribute to cause her affair?? Plausible? Credible?

Uninhibited unaffected resumption of sex quickly with the cheater without repercussions or recrimination - plausible?

Write over value? Thier sex didn't appear to be the problem nor really an attempt by her to replaced it as accounted here. Infidelity has an excitement level the couple will never be able to reach together. He will never be able to excite her as strongly as her younger lover did cuz it isn't cheating, hubby isn't new and no one is trying to catch them. He and she in a married sense are old hat - thier sensual rewards are built on framiliarity, trust and respect. So while one for three is good in a baseball hitting average it is usually insurmountable in a long term repetitive cheating marriage rebuilding.

So Author, our expectations of you and others may be too much and too fast even as good as you and some of your peers are. We all have flaws but ours aren't as exposed to the variable viewpoints of judgement as a writers are.

Tricky wrinkles are neat but beg more thought about how plausible are they to the readers when you formulate them. We understand that nothing is perfect but try to respect us as much as the plot path. Also know that while we realize that most of us couldn't carry your keyboard, sometimes we feel that we can hear a note out of place, tilt our head and wonder why.

That said - thanks Author for your talent, imagination and time as you are solidly among the best here as a word and emotion meister. Life is a learning curve isn't it. -- Many Thanks - with High regard

Ohio:

There's a lot of disbelief by some well known names concerning chapter 02. The problem is that they are overlooking Alex's own self-evaluation of who he is or was; old dependendable, the problem solver, etc.

In chapter 01 anger and hurt over ride all as is natural.

In chapter 02 his normal, "fix it if it's broken," attitude reasserts itself and the problem solver comes to the fore front.

You can't fix something when your angry. You have to set aside emotion as much as you're able, to think calmly. That's exactly what Alex did. Good story and Thank You. Don't be too long with chapter 03. Ronnie W.

Risq said most of it. But from my count, column 3 is empty. What can she do to make it up to him? The only thing she said is she will. That's not much of a plan.

And most of what is going on is sex. And there will be more, though it won't match Tommy because it isn't risky and forbidden. But even if they could somehow pretend and capture that, how does sex make up for betrayal, destruction of trust, disrespect and contempt? It's like saying, "Oh, you're hungry, let me paint your house." The cure has nothing whatsoever to do with the problem.

She had time to come up with her column list. I say the same thing to her I said to another author, don't promise a column 3 if it's going to be empty - redraw it into 2 columns. Don't promise an event or a revenge or catastrophic consequence and fail to deliver. That's much worse than the same ending without the broken promise.

Now that could maybe work for her but I don't see it will do him much good. In fact, it could 'burn in' what had occured between the lovers, for him. He would be 'living' it!

But, should it work,,,, great!

I have to agree with everyone else. In the first chapter, the husband was mad as hell. Although in the secound chapter everything was fine. come on, are u kidding me. You even made him like a cheater since he fucked a cheater.

While it is original, the writing-over does not make any sense. To write over something, usually you are only required to do a better job. A good cook does not make you forget a bad cook by cooking the same exact meals the say exact way in the same exact place. He just cooks better whatever he does.

Being unpredictalbe has absolutely no value here. He has to be better, period. The epitome of unpredictability is to forget and forgive the affair as if it has never happened, but what good is that?

He remembered why he loved her by seeing how organized she was. I bet there are too many women that are more organized than she is and that is easy to find out. Does that mean he loves them more? He has the wrong view of love.

I agree with Pheonix and Risc and most others. The hooker thing almost made me quit reading. It was completely out of line. Having sex with his wife that quickly was crazy. If he thinks he can win his marriage back by reversing his character, he has a long way to go. Instead of being wise, he would have to be dumb and reckless.

Please try to make the next chapter more realistic. Please remember than originality has no value if it does not make sense.

I wish you had published this story in it’s entirely and not used this multi-part chapter format. I say that because it is very difficult to maintain characters, tone, style, and overall plotline consistency across multiple chapters.

Chapter 1 was a very pleasurable read, in fact, I thought you nailed it! Therefore, I was eagerly awaiting chapter 2. However, I did not care how long it took you bring it to fruition. I hoped that you would release the work when you were satisfied that it was ready. This chapter was not ready.

Chapter 2 was largely a waste of good writing. You added more sex scenes but you did not advance the storyline. Now I am confused. Is our hero still a hero having cavorting with a prostitute? Was that liaison necessary? Moreover, this business about the three columns, what was that about? In addition, is Connie still an issue to be discussed? If so, why wasn’t she mentioned more? But the real confusion came it when the husband advocates ‘writing over’ her affair with Tommy’.

I thought that was the dumbest idea any husband could propose; certainly no marriage counselor would advise engaging in that course of action, yet Alex would go so far as to have sex with Angie in Tommy’s apartment. So breaking and entering (a criminal act) will be added to their activities too? Incredible! What were you thinking?

As far as Angie is concerned, why does Alex love her? My impression of Angie is that she cries a lot when confronted with her adultery and she uses sex to avoid honest and open discussion about their problems. That is how you painted her in chapter 2 though I do not think that was your intent.

Angie was the one who set up the affair. I know that Tommy approached her first but she encouraged AND expected an advance. This lothario Tommy was out for some quick action. He was not out for some form of D/s control. When Angie ends the relationship Tommy is happy to cooperate. Therefore, it does not make sense that Tommy would have been the one to suggest having sex in Angie’s bed. That idea would have come from Angie; and that gives me pause about her ability to be a solid partner. Of course, now that you have had Alex with a prostitute, they may deserve one another.

Having read the comments already posted, there seems to be a common thread among many of them, i.e. "You're a great writer who didn't write the story the way I wanted it to be written!"

If I chose to read something that came out the way I wanted it to, "I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT MYSELF!"

The time and effort you put into the stories you write, for me at least, makes them well worth the read, regardless of whether you write them to turn out the way I want them to. For me most of the enjoyment is when it DOESN'T turn out the way I expect.

Thanks for all the time and effort you put into your stories! Many of them do not turn out the way I would have wanted them to, but there have been none that I didn't enjoy reading!

know. As I read everyone’s comments, I had to shake my head. They sounded like I had written them most of them. Maybe we have all been here too long. Except this time, I disagree with almost everyone. Chapter one was a perfect set up for chapter two. I was able to see where chapter two was headed easily at the end of chapter one. I thought the characters followed through perfectly with their personalities, styles, and their habits or ways of dealing with situations. In chapter one, the husband came home, caught his wife cheating, left to get away to think and devise an unusual plan of action. Returned home and set that unusual plan into action. He knew in his heart that he still loved her and desired for her to be honest with him, why? In hopes of salvaging his marriage, that was always his basic desire. Chapter two found him leaving again to get away to think and devise an unusual plan of action to save his marriage. Instead of returning to confront his wife, this time he brought her to neutral territory to spend much needed time together. This time allowed them to be away from the stress and constant reminders that home created for them. The stress was displayed and reinserted the closer the plane got to home on their return. Even the hooker or prostitute made good sense. Sex is an act that has been proven to increase during times of stress, tension, fear, anxiety, or troubles. It is nature’s way of relaxing and bringing a sense of calm and a clearing of the mind. I don’t believe in revenge sex. I never interpreted the hooker as a sexual revenge act, just a much needed tension buster, same as the trip and swimming in the pool. Afterwards, he was able to face the problem and his wife with a calm demeanor, a loving attitude, and again, a very unusual plan of action. I have no problem with the “write over” plan. Maybe I’m nuts, but it makes perfect sense to me. I never had heard the term “alpha male” until I started reading stories here at literotica. This is one case where the “alpha male” will remark his territory at each and every point of previous action. It will reestablish his power, confidence, and put a competing memory in her mind every time she remembers her previous lover. Every memory she has will have to be shared with the new memory. I firmly believe it is his belief and intent that he can leave a stronger, better, and more pleasurable memory at each location than her lover. When she recalls those events, it will end up being his new memories that will bring her pleasant thoughts. Hope I’m correct, and if so, I hope I haven’t spoiled the next chapter. Ohio, I think you are absolutely brilliant. You may be the best author here. That’s a tuff call though. There are about ten of you that I would hate to have to split hairs over. I am surprised at Salamis’s comments, since I do consider him one of those ten top authors. But then, his comments don’t mean he’s not a good author. It just means that he doesn’t agree with me.

you snuck a comment in before me, otherwise it would have been a pleasure to note you are also one of those ten top authors in my opinion. A fan always to you, Ohio and Salamis. Now all everyone has to do is try and figure out whom the other seven are, that is if you really care, which I doubt.

Wait until it is too late for an abortion, and then leave her.

Seems like a lot of babbling with no meat. Hope the next chapter can pull it back up.

Ohio. I hope some misfortune didn't contribute to the length of time between chapters. I tend to agree with most of the other comments but definitely agree with "if I wanted it to turn out how I wanted it I'll write it myself". LOL!!! Looking forward to YOUR Chapter 3.

"the best author here," but this story is incredibly mediocre, in fact, one of the worst I've ever encountered.

it is actually quite consistent in that it had absolutely no point to it, like the main character, the husband, having no direction,,,

the guy wants to hear the details of his wife's bodily fluid exchange with another man is like; he runs around fucking hookers --- "but I'm totally honest with you, Angie," he says! lol

the story has NO DIRECTION because the main character is a drifter: he has NO CONCRETE plans of what he wants; he acts on impulses (even he knows it) and let's just wait and see if the wife says the right thing, at the right time, or something, the "plan," HIS "plan" goes!

unfortunately, THAT'S also the general direction of the story. there's NO DIRECTION; no coherent thoughts or plans.

if we must take it seriously, a story by a "great writer" in Literature, it is a TOTAL let down, as one other reader stated clearly,,,

I have always liked "OHIO" stories, and after the first chapter of this one, I expressed my impatience with the long delay between chapters. After this second chapter, I don't care if there is ever another. This appears to be an "unnecessary" chapter as it certainly contributed very little.

The whole remarking of the areas that you describe is how I saw it as well. Though I did have a problem with him sleeping with her before he asked if she had even used protect with the other guy. He had the mind to use it with the hooker but asking his wife would have been completely justified I feel.

As for Connie. Well I really think her husband should find out exactly what she did to this marriage and that she had cheated on him as well. While it might hurt him(question of is it better not to know after it's done), he shold know I feel and she should have to answer for her actions of betrayal if he doesn't already know.

I have to remind myself that a lot of these stories where there are consquences to cheating, while they start off depressing they usually end decently, especially with certain authors. I just hope this one does.

I have one BIG question,

What the hell is a fucking nonny mouse?

good insight. Having sex with someone you deeply love without question or protection can be a display of how deep your love truly is. True love can be self sacrificing, even to the point of death. I know that sounds crazy and will draw me some heat, but it is true. In the story, remember he brought his wife to Florida to start to rebuild and recapture their love, their marriage, and their happiness. I for one would not question her before hand. It would appear that I just brought her there for an inquisition and mental punishment. He wanted to start displaying his love for her to start the healing before any further questioning or discussion about the affair. It would be a perfect move in real life. I still think the author is brilliant in his well thought out character of Alex and his methodical planning and initiating of those plans. I could be wrong, but I feel most readers are looking to the story so strongly for their own agendas, that they are missing the author’s truly gifted and deep display of his abilities.

Actually, I stopped reading as soon as he got the hooker to his room.

What a clicheed crock of drivel. Silly me, I imagined we were in for something original after the imaginative start in Ch1.

I read Ohio stories for a slightly more mature and sometimes twisted take on these scenarios. This one started out with such great promise in Ch1, and I have looked daily with great anticipation for about 4 weeks, watching for more of this story.

What a waste of time and effort!

As Risq said so elouqently:

"It just feels like the same story (with a slight twist)of "Wife cheats and Husband can't wait to take her back, after pretending to be mad, and toally share some/all of the blame for her cheating" story that alot of other authors write about."

Toss into that a mention about the obligatory "revenge fuck" and you have it all covered, because they are becoming as pervasive as porn movie 'cum shots'. The husband is no better than his stupid wife now, so nothing more that happens to either of them matters a shit.

Admittedly I stopped reading after the hooker got to the room, so I don't know actually know what wimpy stuff happened thereafter.

What a great solution this "two wrongs" theory is....

Now you have a story populated with characters I couldn't care less about. When that happens I stop reading. Why waste the time? There is another story actually worth reading out there somewhere which will be a better way to use my finite amount of reading time.

A real let down from an author for whom I had a lot of respect.

I'll likely read the comments on the next chapter, just to see how much more wimpy the guy turns out.

"A nony mouse" or "A nonymouse" is somewhat of a slangy term for "anonymous". There are web sites set up this way (see anonymouse.org). There is even a children's book by Jack Prelutsky called "A. Nonny Mouse Writes Again!"

Nonny is an old english refrain: "Hey nonny nonny" is like "tra la la" or fa la la". An example would be "He that would an alehouse keep must have three things in store:

A chamber with a feather bed, a chimney and a -- Hey Nonny Nonny, Hey Nonny Nonny, Hey Nonny No, Hey Nonny No, He-ey Nonny No."

Anyway on the story: I like it! Yeah, it's not perfect, but... I didn't buy the prostitute bit. It seemed somewhat forced. I agree with wetapap's view.

I'll wait for the final chapter.

Keep up the good writing ohio!

I will reserve final comment until I have seen the final chapter of this story. However I have to wonder why, when Alex and Angie are talking he never asks her to explain why she had sex with Tommy in their marital bed. Of all the things that happened during her short affair that would seem to be the most hurtful to the husband but he doesn't ask her to explain what she was thinking when she brought Tommy to their home and fucked him in their bed just twenty minutes before Alex was due home from work.

I don't understand all the analyzing and criticism of this story. It's an enjoyable and very good story. I guess I'm a romantic at heart because I've enjoyed all your stories. I was disappointed in The Letter A ending, but I guess all stories can't end happily. I hope you keep writing stories like Twenty Minutes.

Together with the growing group of puzzled and disappointed readers of Ohio, I am still scratching my head – WHAT HAPPENED? In light of the first chapter, reading the second truly feels likes a schizoid experience. It’s as if Ohio took a long vacation, and let a total stranger try his hand with the second chapter. At best, I can speculate that Ohio brought so many good relevant difficult to answer questions in the first chapter, that maybe he became overwhelmed or simply ran out of energy to tackle them in the follow up.

What happened to the scorn and to the hostility that husband of Ch. 1 so acutely observed must have underlined his wife’s cheating? What happened to not being able to restore normal relations before restoring trust? What happened to finding out what prevented her from conveying to him what ever was missing in her life before resorting to recreational fucking? What about sorting his resentment over their stolen intimacy? These are only few of the questions which were presented as major problems for the husband in Ch 1. Suddenly we are supposed to forget all about it together with the husband of Ch. 2 Other than wife’s self proclaimed dumbness flakiness and superficiality what redeeming findings did husband of Ch 2 find to soothe any of his previous questions? Let’s sleep together now, deal with the problems when we come home to all the daily pressures sounds like a good plan to them. I wonder if there was not just too much chlorine in the pool.

Others have repeatedly pointed out the extreme shift in temperament; range and intensity of emotions between husbands of ch.1 and 2. I would just add the inexplicable gap in the level of thinking between husband of Ch.1 and husband of Ch. 2.

In Ch.1 the husband is enraged inventive and seemingly very intelligent. In Ch 2 however we are suddenly back in formula land. Here is the all too familiar PNWH (Pretend Non Wimp Husband) with his counterpart the SDW (Slut Dumb Wife) all predictable to the point of crying. The twist here is that the husband is adjusted down to the dumbness of the wife. They discuss romancing and a little change of atmosphere as if they just had a slightly more difficult than usual week, and all they need is just some r&r. No, it is not about what readers want to see in the story. It is about blatant inconsistencies within the story itself. Unless we find in a shocking twist of the plot in chapter three that husband of Ch.1 and husband of Ch.2 are identical twins who are totally different in their personality, I am afraid that there is no way to explain away the gaps and the inconsistencies between the two chapters.

I want to finish my comments with a positive note. I am a big fan of Ohio’s writing, especially the later part. Regardless of Chapters 2 (and maybe three) I think that “Twenty minutes - Chapter one” was great!

1-Angie's reaction over the next few days would determine whether we stayed married or whether I kicked her cheating ass out. 2-I was relieved that Angie wasn't in love with him, and that he wasn't a threat to take her away from me. Their tone on the phone was almost like he was her tennis pro or swim coach or massage therapist. This made me feel a little less like I'd been replaced. 3-Angie. We have a lot of talking to do. Please call me when you're ready, and I'll come back to the house. But it had better be soon, and you had better be ready to be completely honest with me. Otherwise this marriage is over." 4-I hadn't forgotten the divorce papers in my pocket—I'd decided not to pull them out. As angry as I was, I wasn't yet ready to take that step. 5- But she had been honest about something very difficult—maybe loving me meant more to her than just being able to lord it over me as the (supposedly) innocent victim. 6-I was tired, depressed, angry, and hopeful—an interesting combination. 7-I don't know what to do now—I haven't the foggiest idea. I love you very much, but I'm furious and hurt. - These are all excerpts from chapter one. Maybe it’s just me, but I clearly see that even though he is filled with anger, he still loves her, doesn’t want to lose her, and holds out hope that the marriage might be salvageable. With all the anger and mixed feelings displayed in chapter one, I can see where some readers based their hope and expectations on seeing the cheating bitch punished by divorcing her. On the other hand, there was such a strong undercurrent of optimism and hope on his part, that I never doubted where the author was going with this couple. I still have absolutely no problem with chapter two.

In reading literature unlike an opinion article in a paper or a scientific publication there is a range of legitimate interpretations which could be supported by the text. However, I think that your estimate that chapter one was marked by “a strong undercurrent of optimism and hope on his part” goes beyond that range.

I find myself agreeing with you when you say that “even though he is filled with anger, he still loves her”. But you really hit the nail when you described him as angry and having mixed feelings. These last two descriptions of the chapter are much more accurate and consistent with your own examples. Even in your examples the duality and conflicted nature of his feelings is evident rather than strong optimism and hope.

My problem with Ch. 2 is not of frustrated expectations to a specific outcome(plus I never call any one a bitch). But Ch. 1 version of the husband has many questions and emotional hurdles to be faced before he is ready to get back together with his wife. The problem? to make Ch 2 consistent with it, you have to follow those threads, deal with them, resolve them, and not ignore them. Questioning doubtful angry ambivalent husband turning after brisk laps in the pool into lovy dovy pretty much all is forgotten husband – I don’t buy it. It’s not the outcome that bothers me. I would have loved to see a credible happy ending - but not with quick fixes or short cuts.

and I do mean friendly. It seems that some authors and readers take offence to any opposing point of view, not I, I love it and sometimes it helps me to either change my point of view or to expand it. The strong undercurrent of optimism and hope that I perceived in chapter one, came from inference and what was not said more so than what was felt, expressed, and said. I’ll try to explain, please bear with me. It’s almost like looking at an abstract painting and trying to explain what you are seeing. It’s there but not always fully visible to the naked eye. We both fully agree that Alex was very angry and had mixed emotions. Let’s return to my excerpts form chapter one and I will ask you the following question, if there is no strong undercurrent of optimism and hope on

Alex’s part, then why did he; 1-not just kick her cheating ass out; 2-feel relieved that Angie wasn’t in love with her lover, that he wasn’t a threat to take Angie away form him, that their tone on the phone was very casual, and that he felt less like he had been replaced; 3-leave Angie with the knowledge and feeling their marriage had a chance and was not completely over yet; 4-not give her the divorce papers; 5-interpret her honesty with him about the affair as a strong signal that her love for him was greater than her desire to protect herself; 6-feel hopeful; 7-not have a strong since of direction and action, usually anger gives one that feeling and since, even if it might be misguided at the time. Sorry, again I feel that this strong undercurrent of optimism and hope stopped him from kicking her cheating ass out, made him feel relieved that she didn’t love Tommy and that

Tommy wasn’t a threat, made him let Angie know the door remained open for their marriage, stopped him from giving her the divorce papers after he had them drawn up, made him see her honesty as her love for him was greater than her love for her own self, caused him to feel hopeful, and blocked his anger from directing his actions. Chapter two in my opinion was never meant to address the problems or to deal with them. It only set the stage and started the reconciliation process. As I stated before, I have no problem with chapter two. My wife did, she didn’t like the part with the prostitute even though I did, I felt it fit in with all the tension and stress very well. No love, no intimacy, no emotional connection, no revenge sex, no commitment, no attachment, just blowing off steam and walking away, but I will agree that the story would not have suffered if it had been left out. Now everyone can breathe a sigh of relief, this will be my last comment on chapter one and two I know everyone is tired of hearing from me, but remember, chapter three is coming, I for one can’t wait. This author is absolutely brilliant, can’t wait for the “write over”.

But having a comment about the story doesn't mean its not valid.

You made the comment:

Having read the comments already posted, there seems to be a common thread among many of them, i.e. "You're a great writer who didn't write the story the way I wanted it to be written!"

If I chose to read something that came out the way I wanted it to, "I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN IT MYSELF!"

While what you posted may be great and all, it still doesn't mean anyone elses comments are invalid. I would love to be a yes man and only tell the authors what they want to see and hear, but I can't. I won't tell them what to write, like you may have veily suggested, but I will say it its the same story but in a new wrapper like so many other writers use. And chapter 2 was just that.

Ohio is one of my favorite authors that I have bookmarked and often check to see whats new from. I like the way he throws twist in the stories. I was reading chapter one and I was like "Whoa, I wouldn't have done that if I caught my wife in bed with another man. I wouldn't have went down to the bar for a drink. Man I bet he makes him out as a wimp for the rest of the story." But I have to admit how he had the husband handle the whole situation was more of a devious twist than I could have thought of. That I loved.

But chapter two seemed rushed. Like it was a quick way to pull and put the characters back together "Fast". It had all the elements present to make it happen that almost every other author uses. And this is how almost everyone else tries to quickly make the husband a saint, or almost saint, in that he quickly forgives the wife and pretends nothing happened. It's almost like it was a dream sequence from the 70's. This isn't usually the style I've seen from Ohio. And based on chapter one its out of context. It was like chapter one and two were either written by different authors or are stand alone chapters. But again thats my personal opinion and no one elses.

But if you like, we can only give "you" good reviews on "your" storys when you ask. That way you don't have to read negative opinions like have been present here.

Just kidding.

(^_^)

human being are different then books.first i would,ve kick his ass out of my home,put her ass out as well.disrespected in his home and bedroom is unexceptable.it sounds good how he thinks she love him,but webster anwser isn't what love is.playing mind games is farest thing from your mind in this case,you want to kill everyone involved.that crap you wrote sounds good,but that farie tell.

But they do jump in bed awfully quickly and I am surprised he

can get it up after all the movie reruns. If he had gone into his bedroom, kicked the poacher out, and then reclaimed what was his, I could see the hard rod, but after all this discussion he should have problems...

Anyway you're the author though I think that this chapter could have been longer.

like your stories....so in your world, the way to deal with betrayal is to betray....your men are even weaker than your women. A real man wouldn't have had to fuck a whore to prove his own manhood. This story disgusts me.

How you must hate men.

Ohio's stories are NOT all the same. The husbands he portrays are not always weak. It must be difficult to continually come up with different ideas for stories in the same genre. I'm not at all surprised at the variety of characters and outcomes.

In this particular story I didn't like the husband having sex with a prostitute and the "writing over" idea seems a little lame to me, but it certainly seems to be original.

Frankly, Ohio is an excellent author, in my opinion in the same class as JPB and HDK, Rehnquist, etc.

It is obvious that the writer has an extreme dislike for women and the story is his revenge against whatever must have happened. The fact is that Angie would not put up with all the abuse she is receiving from Alex. And having sex with a hooker is much worse than sex with a normal person. Therefore, she is the injured party and Alex needs to make it to her.

Angie has shown that she is sorry for her actions and, since Alex is unwilling to get over it, Angie would tell him to cut the crap and to be a man; otherwise, he can pack his bags and not come back.

The can both find someone else, but Angie can certainly do better than some weird ass and Alex cannot do better than Angie.

Your stories ARE all the same!!! I don't know how anyone can say they're not. Do you have a story saved then just change bits to suit what you're writing at the time, and what on earth do you think having sex everywhere she had sex with the other guy is going to 'undo' the affair, that's just ridiculous.

DWornock, I don't think you were reading the same story that the rest of us read...or maybe you just skipped several paragraphs or skimmed the story very briefly.

You state that the author "has an extreme dislike for women and the story is his revenge against whatever must have happened." Where the hell do you get that from? There was no woman-hating going on here. Alex wasn't abusing Angie in anyway whatsoever. Where does it say that Alex is unwilling to get over it? Sure, his idea of over-writing the affair is strange, but that is what they call a "plot-device," it allows Ohio to throw some more sex scenes into his story.

And being with a hooker isn't any worse that being with some random, or not so random in this case, guy. you don't know where either of them have been before they were with you. The hooker is at least truthful about what she is doing. Tommy is a player and a cheater (he is engaged) and Angie has no idea how many women he had been with before, during, or after their affair.

And how is Angie the injured party? Alex only picked up a hooker AFTER Angie's affair. One night with a hooker versus a three-week affair with Tommy. Somehow I don't think anyone can see Angie as the injured party.

Yes, Angie is showing she is sorry. And Alex is showing that he wants to repair their marriage if at all possible. They are both obviously trying.

Seriously, what story were you reading? Idiot!

Must be a closetcluck without backbone.

He only reads the titles then he votes. And then he brags about it. Here is this idiot without a single story crapping on one of the best writers on this site. The guy (?) has no shame. Sorry Ohio, another rant.

On his rating. But dworcuck is a kindergarten when it comes to reasoning and logic. Ohio is one of the best establish writer in literotica. It spins our emotion on how he made the husband always a wimp. He had written good stories, I just don't like on how he reconciled every couple he wrote. It maybe because he is SUB in bed, I don't know. But like I said, he is a good writer. It's just too bad, he always made lame excuses about cheating wife.

I do not like the generalization, because you read this story "The Surrogate Ch. 03" from OHIO, in that story the husband divorced his wife

however having read a number of wornock's comments I really believe he has some serious misconceptions of his thinking process, it has to do with his defination of certain exsisting situations. I believe all have a right to their opinions and views but this deals with something else.

If there's reconciliation, you call it a cuck story. Even if he puts a half dozen 45 caliber slugs in her, he still would be cuckolded. I just can't understand why some of you judge every Loving Wives' story by whether there's reconciliation or not. If there's reconciliation it's a cuck story, anyone who read it and liked it is a wannabe cuck, and the story should be a 1. No reconciliation and the husband's a man. Even if his wife got drunk and strayed just once, if he doesn't kick her to the curb leaving 3 small children motherless, he's a wimp. Sorry, just don't get this over the top animosity to what is just a story. I don't like the stories that some write (Matt Moreau) where the husband almost seems to revel in the humiliation and enjoys having his wife sleep around. I don't get it, but I don't usually read them, and if by chance I do by mistake, I don't comment.

Insecure men rarely have relationships with women and when they do it is often short-lived. These guys get off on being cucked; plain and simple. They have no idea why but for some reason it gets their motor running. Probably mommy issues.

But they hate themselves for sporting wood at cuck stories and rail against them as a coping method to allow them to live in their sad, hypocritical world another day. The pathetic circle is replayed, story after story, day after day, year after year. No women is going to be involved with a woman-hating insecure wannabe cuckold with mommy issues so LW has them and is stuck with them.

Ohio writes well literally, however all his content has one common theme:

the wife fucks every dick available and the consiquences are zero!

Hubby just understands so much why his whife is a slut and whore and always forgives her as soon as she starts crying that he found out about her fucking 1,2,3,...so many others and appologises to her for not sucking her cunt anytime she fucks and brings her full cunt to him for cleanning, one hall of failing on his part.

There should separate category for cucks - then Ohio could place most of his stories in this category where majority of his stories belong

Same old, closet cuck commenter little al trying to ease his dirty shame after reading what he knows is a cuck story - read/spank/flame like a good little pindick cucky

the husband makes all the right comments and goes through all the expected emotions at the beginning but again after only few days he overcomes them all and manages to talk and SLEEP with his wife, dont you think that it is a little bet too much early, there is no man alive who can make such a change so quickly, i am sorry but some of the comments suggested that the husband is a cuck and i have to agree, just imagine if it is the other way around, how long after the discovery or the confession would the wife start to forgive and allow her husband to touch her, would it be few days like this one, i highly doubt it. anyway, great writing as usual, thanks for sharing.

a cuck means a person who willingly allows their respective other to cheat and may infact enjoy watching it while being verbally abused. this guy is not like that, once he found out the first thing he did was strike back at her with psychological warfare. he took precautions and watched things play out. he couldve confronted her and killed her lover, but he wouldnt get anything in the long run. plus he slept with another woman out of lust and partial anger, so i dont think he's cuck loyal to her.

HONESTLY i respect the way the guy in this story handles things, anyone can explode a situation, but how many can kill with uncertainty?

Are they going to "write-over" his cheating with a hooker?

It lost a little from the first chapter. She cheated, she got caught. He seems to be bending over backwards trying to re-affirm his love and devotion for her. She'll do anything to keep him. I guess we'll see what happens...

The cuckold eats and willingly makes love with his slut/wife. And then thinks about children with her.

Why not just open a vein and leave it at that. At least it would be much less painful as to how it is going to end....

A very different out look on their marriage but different is cool when writing FICTION. Thanks for sharing.

Certainly unconventional, but still very engaging.

If you want to put up with infidelity, you must not see much when you look in the mirror.

If you want a woman that to me is simply human garbage and has no idea of what words like "disrespect", "vow", "trust", and "commitment" mean, then go for it.

Me, I DESERVE better and would not accept less.

You, apparently don't deserve better and will accept almost anything it seems.

But remember the saying: if you lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

'nuff said.

WHEN IT WORKS!!!! Unfortunately this one is one toke over the line. Not even you can make me believe that all the pieces of this puzzle can be put back together, and the egg can again sit on the wall. "But what the fuck do I know?"

what ever it takes

Come on people! You've NEVER done anything wrong?

Can't we learn from our mistakes?

If everything in life was the way you anti-recon people think it is, nobody who was ever in an auto accident would ever drive again!

everybody makes mistakes. I forget to carry the 1 in multiplication, a lot of times. I bought the wrong dish soap a few times. Those were mistakes. To willfully and knowingly set out to have an affair with someone else, no matter how bored or neglected we feel is not a mistake. It is a lack of loyalty to your spouse that you absolutely owe them. You don't have that kind of relationship with your car, KarenE. I have wondered whether you were male or female on occasion, but I think your comment pretty well tells me.

Come on Ohio. Write us out of this cuck tale.

five stars. I get the whole write over it concept and how that will be beneficial for her. Every time she thinks back to a memory of fucking Tommy, and she will do that regardless of how guilt ridden she is, she will instantly see her husband taking Tommy's place. But I don't see how that does anything for him. Every time he fucks her exactly the same way Tommy did, he will be forced to visualize Tommy with his wife. Not sure I could do it, let alone maintain an erection in the process.

Ok. Maybe in the long term it works for him - he can take comfort in knowing he has effectively replaced Tommy in her thoughts. It is the short term I think would be problematic.

and agree with many who posted ahead of me. but I have one little quibble. It is hard to accept his statement:

"I didn't do it so I could throw it in your face"

considering how he told her, without some doubt.

i think that statement by him was quite insightful on the part of Ohio. You often hear people caution against the revenge fuck, and I would agree. It is something done out of anger and it fosters more anger. It brings a relationship closer to the end, rather than equalizing and moving forward. But, I can see his reasons for doing it. He needed his confidence restored. He needed to know he could still satisfy a woman. It was therapy for him, not revenge on her. Then why tell her? Because at that point he knew he wanted to save his marriage. Keeping a secret wouldn't help. Also, I think he wanted her to know that he had reclaimed his manhood. He was not going to be the emasculated hubby.

I don't remember another LW story in which the author explained how the Hubby could afford to just take off to be alone. I guess I would have put it all on a credit card.

My former wife refused to tell how her affair started or any of the details. I wasn't able to articulate why - as Alex did - I just wanted to know. And she just didn't want to tell me.

Congrats. Four out of five.I like this chapter a lot but not quite as much as the first chapter. I find the write over concept intriguing. But I would have liked to have seen Alex and Angie worry about it back firing a little more. I would have liked a bit more about the anxiety of their first time making love after the affair explored a little more. (I know there was some.) I would have liked her to do something new in bed and him immediately backing away as he wonders if it is something she learned from her lover. And then see some of your excellent dialogue as they discuss it. I know, I know. I'm so picky I should write my own story.

In his bed and he still wants her? Total wuss.

If this is your first Ohio story you may want to avoid the rest of his stuff. Unless you're just one of those guys who enjoy railing at cuck/wimp/RAAC crap.

but remember he went down on a hooker in Florida and never has questioned his slut about VD.

What does KarenE’s sex have to do with the comments? Wouldn’t they apply equally if the cheater was the husband?

You have made some very valid points here, as have many of the other commentators here. She made mistakes, we all have, but, she made the mother of all of them in thinking that he wouldn't find out and as such "No harm, No foul". Well he did find out, in ( and there really isn't any good way) one of the worst ways possible. The fact that he didn't go all terminator on their asses does not make him a wimp. Quit the opposite as a matter of fact. He stepped back and thought out a plan of action. How did Jack Nicolson put it in a Few Good Men, oh, he was going to train the lad, only in this case it was going to include his wayward wife and quite possibly her "good friend" Connie. First he gave her pain, from a point so far out of her mental ability to catch on. Pure genius to make up the story of him having an affair with the one woman he knew would cause his wife to doubt herself with. That it never happened has zero relevance to these proceedings. She perceived that it did and that is what is important here. Sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind. He got her into thinking for herself again and what the marriage actually meant to her. For me the re-writing over the memories will actually be harder on him than her as he will be competing with a ghost image of a perfect lover ( in her mind ) that never had to deal with mood swings, her having her period, him nursing her back to health when she was sick or she doing the same for him. The petty arguments that all couples have, etc. etc. etc..no man can win against those odds, so he is taking a big chance that this will all blow up, but, and I cannot stress this enough, he is taking the chance that she may rip out his heart again. In that regard he is a stronger man than I. To put ones hopes on the shoulders of a spouse that has already done that kind of damage and already proven herself as not being worthy of his trust, but at least he is trying. I am usually in the btb corner but this time they may have a chance, small as it may be, it is still a chance and more than she deserves. Hope it all works out for them.

He lost my respect in doing this. If he had been struggling with confidence and felt sexually inadequate then I could see the justification but no it was purely for short term sexual gratification and a sense of revenge. Not worthy of a hero in my opinion. Trouble is the reader loses respect for both parties and begins not to care. Once that happens the story becomes much less enjoyable. Many on this site write about partners who are both obnoxious and I for one couldn't care less about reading about them.

Otherwise well written and a good read as always. Still 5*

He takes off on vacation to clear his head, think things over and he has an epiphany! He hires a prostitute! Yeah that'll solve his problems. Then he sends his cheating slut a ticket to join him and she's more concerned about her job than she is about saving her marriage? What more information did he need? God awful, stupid story!

I'm still waiting for the retribution.

Bullfrog

5*

I love his decisiveness and willingness to take control and act.

Any asshole and weak minded person can act and say I'm sorry "I shouldn't have over reacted like that I really Loved her boo hoo" after he went all Dirt Harry on them!

Buba and his buddies would have a new ass to break in.

Don't you see the writer wants you to think and not over react and do something that could really hurt in the long run.

Think of it as a story with a teaching moment.

Whoever said life is short was full or shit. Life is long with a lot of twists and you can make it seem even longer by not thinking!

In this case yes it may have seemed wimpy to walk away when he heard them in the bed but, he did form a plan after walking away. The writer shows his plan had flaws and there was an outside unexpected influences "CONNIE"! Yes his wife could cheat again but, he was man enough not to shrink away in fear of something that may never happen. If he dumped her the next woman could be a Connie or worse. He understood what he had with with his wife and wanted to move forward.

"Please believe everything I said in Florida.". You mean like he was supposed to believe her vows and was supposed to believe that she was trustworthy?

And he still loves her but decided to hook up with a hooker. Both of these people have no clue what love is or means when you are married.

I love how alot of people say "what a wimp, lose, cuckold loser". If you've been married for a long time then it's very hard to just say "bye bitch, see ya." It takes real guts to forgive a wife or husband after they cheat and find a solution. Everyone is different meaning that everyone reacts differently.

Great story.

Loser, cunt, sissy.

another cocksucking wimp posting dumb cuck SHIT.

I thought it was a more than good story. However, the ending left me with too much less than it should have, given all that was gone through to get there. I don't mean another four chapters, but I anticipated a little tighter /or/ brighter conclusion than a 3-word 'thump' at the end.

"I also knew that I couldn't imagine ever trusting her again." - Minor thing, while he didn't cheat, he had told her a pretty convincing lie. Should she be able to trust HIM again?

While they may be separated (though not legally), I'm not sure I'm okay with him having sex with another woman.

I didn’t much like this chapter of the story. At first I thought it was because it was nothing but self-pity and introspection, either one of which usually leads to the other. Then I realized that that wasn’t my issue. My thing is, when it comes to blatantly cheating wives who get caught red-handed, so to speak, I much prefer open conflict and harsh retribution. Maybe that’s a character flaw of mine, but that’s my type of storyline preference. That’s certainly no reflection on the author, who is an excellent writer. I hope to check out more of his stories, maybe I’ll find one I do like.

I have not yet read Chapter 3.

I am of a similar point of view as Drbeamer3333's first two comments of 11/22/14. What if Tommy took her anal virginity? Every time husband steps up to bat, so to speak, he will not only have his mind's eye view of what it was like but he will also have their actual first effort at anal. Suppose he wilts when attempting it the first time, and develops a permanent problem with it?

Or if Tommy and the wife did it in a position (or positions) that hubby can't get into with her (old back injury, for example). Hubby loses there forever, as Tommy is the "better man" (at least in that position).

Or suppose Tommy was into scat with her, and hubby absolutely, positively, and totally can never engage in such acts. Tommy wins again. And husband has it burned indelibly into his mind.

I'm very concerned that "writing over" may instead be placing it permanently in both their minds; leading to the failure of the marriage!

Trash, now I have to take a good shit. STORY SUCKS

this was enough to turn my stomach. He gets what he deserves. goodluck cuck

The thing that most stories like this have in common, is a Male who is stupid enough to believe that he can trust a woman who has already shown that she has no qualms about lying to him, cheating on him, and disrespecting him in the worst way possible.

Another good.chapter, but I hope there is some sort of retribution for Tommy. Also a little word with Brad about good old Connie's secret life.

I wonder if he was jacking off under the table as he mae his wife tell him all about her fucking Tommy

Anony, your statistical platitudes may mean something in real life, but this story was Fiction. With a capital ‘F’. That means it’s not real, it didn’t happen at all. Jeez. What was it Will Shakespeare said? “Much ado about nothing”? There you go. I liked the first chapter of the story myself but this second chapter got a bit boring for me, sort of predictable. We’ll see what chapter three brings.

I'm a cuck, I have no spine and my dick is worthless

Damned cuck story!!!

Not one of Ohio's good stories. I guess after you've written so much, you struggle to find a new angle, and sometimes it doesn't work. This doesn't work...at all.

No real ending.

A few more months after Florida could wrap up the story.

I’d really like to know how they did.

When a writer develops a character or characters so the reader can empathize with them

A reader doesn’t want for them to fall off the Earth.

Wm. Staman

Seems an awfully easy reconciliation, but just part of a good story.

Again an interesting plot line. The idea of overwriting the sexual encounters Angie had with Tommy when she was cheating. Not sure that would work in real life.