by Egmont Grigor
the face. I know mind was slapped hard and has never turned me loose in 14 years. She has even fought stage IV cancer for four years to stay at my side...........
The story had some potential but it was nearly unreadable. Get an editor... QUICK.
A few comments: first, the notion of Nick having sex with Lexi's mother was forced, and phony seeming; second, after Nick finds out about his wife's cancer, it would have been nice to expand on his actions before she dies. In a sense, the whole story is set around the wife's unwillingness to share her problem with her husband, who interprets her actions thereafter as a rejection of him, and mistakes the effect (alcohol) for the cause (the pain.) The story would have benefitted from seeing some sort of reconciliation, based on Nick's new understanding.
I think this is a very well written,warm and loving story .The story kept me wanting to read until I finished it.The characters were very real and the story line was great.
I would like to see another chapter about what happens after the funeral.
thanks for the very good post......Rich
‘Sometimes love walks up...’: Yeah, life sucks sometimes. I feel for you guys, with me orphaned twice by the time I was twelve I have rather deep understanding of family bonds. Here's hoping, huh?
‘What the fuck...’: Literotica should be protected from readers like you; it’s an adult site. If you want to read in a straight line A thru Z, frequent the children's library. Even the fucking title of the story mentions 'twists' and I made sure it had plenty. Get a reading tutor...quickly.
‘Thoughts on Twists....’: I signaled without believing I had to spell it out unduly Lexi's mother was predatory. Nick was morally weak and adrift, Lexi and his relationship was not all that close although progressing slowly and mommy was big and powerful. Even Lexi acknowledged that. Inevitably those two rutted and I thought it was significant Danielle then though enough of Nick to stand by him and helped with his dying although knowing it was not certain Nick and Lexi would progress with Lexi. It did it for me, sorry it left your unimpressed. The essence of the story actually was Nick being set adrift by the impotency of his marriage. He married unwisely and paid the price and gradually they fell apart. If there ever is to be love in his live it will come in the reconciliation with Lexi.
‘A Good Loving Story...’: Yes Rich, loving indeed in a bleak way and that's how it was meant to be. Thank you. EG.
You have a totally irreverent aspect in the way that you write. PLEASE do not change your style, your stories are like a breath of fresh air.
While I like nearly all of your stories, every once in a while one stands out. This one dealt with realistic situations that touch most of us at some time in our lives with greatly varying effects.