by katiepj
interesting start, made me want more. Sign of a good story.
I enjoyed this story and hope to see more soon.
Thanks for the post.
Cant wait to read the Follow-Up can Imagine Step-Mommy not being Happy that the Other Mom(Mom) got the Load she Wanted.
I really like your stories in particular, especially fighting with mom, but so far this one might end up being my new favorite
Some obvious spelling errors, and some areas how you put things together was kind of confusing. I was really confused at the part where the son got knocked out and then found his step-mom riding him, that needed more work. So in short it wasn't bad but needs an editor. So I give you 3 stars.
Your story/scenario certainly has potential. The idea of competing mothers for the son is quite intriguing and can be developed in any number of possible ways. I believe if you take your time and don't rush to submit the first or even second draft, your critics will have less about which to crow. Type-Os will happen, even to the most careful author, but repeated readings prevent most. Don't be in such a rush to get the sequel submitted. You can even begin work on chapter 3 while putting the polish on chapter two. And don't be afraid to sound more male. Just because we are women doesn't mean we shouldn't or can't construct a good, hot fuck scene. Just leave off the the 9+ inch cocks, as if every young male has one. Believe me, they don't. My guess is that authors with small dicks usually have story characters that are hung like race horses. But do keep writing, especially incest. Women always tell it more realistically. It happens, more than most realize.
That is one good damn you story you have there. The set-up of the mother having to hide in bed with her naked son was good, but that's not the great part. The great part is the twist with the step-mother recovering from being taken down and tied then instead of getting out of there to call the cops, she starts fucking the son herself. Yeah, that was an excellent twist. Even better is that she fucks him with rage kind of like a grudge fuck. Good stuff. Looking forward to the continuation.
I agree with two points GDesmond made. Don't rush to post the second part at the expense of editing and rewriting. While I am eagerly looking forward to it, I'd rather read it having been gone over than have it faster.
The second point I agree with is that writers who are not hung themselves may make up for it by making their character's really hung. I agree with this because I do it myself. I'm average at 6inches with average girth, but I make my characters 8,9, or 10 and fat as hell. : ) 11, 12 is pushing it I think. Hey, the story is a fantasy and if I had the cock I really wanted it wouldnt be 6in and medium thickness. I'd have a ramrod. Damn straight!
I'd love to see stepmother seducing Seth. Birth mother walks in as Seth is performing cunnilingus on Laura! Who's your mommy!
This is a little out in left field . But interesting , sorry you have stopped writing because the second chapter would have been fasinating .
Thanks for the read
Tx Cracker
I agree with others here, you could continue this and get a lot of followers, the writing is good and the plot is unusual, please try to get back to it. You must have had a continuation idea when you wrote this.
Give chapter 2 of this story ,I like the writing of this story but I'm curios for chapter 2 why you taking so long
I’ve always loved catfight stories, and mom vs. step-mom is one of my favorite scenarios. Please do a second chapter that has both women competing for their son.
Why the hell didn’t you bother to write another installment?
Continuing could be considered a crime against humanity.