All Comments on 'Two Weeks'

OK, from the short dream sequence we know Dominic, her husband and her liked S&M. And she's in grief. why stop here? If you planned to go on, you should have done so.

Your last one got high marks, this one's a nothing, IMO.

S,

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

this is a very nice starter for what i'm sure will be a nice tale to tell. i don't care if it's short, the introductions are made, the scene has been set, now let it roll!

never pay attention to negative feedback from anyone who posts as anonymous - if they have decent constructive criticism, they will have the guts to post under their name. I think you are off to a great start and look forward to more of this story.

this was a very good start. i will definitely be looking for the next chapters. the emotions you showed from Faith were very real. keep up the good work :)

It is a good start, but I agree it is way to short. If you believe in the story, don't use testers like this. Either send out the whole story of give us real chapters we can all get stuck into.

I agree that it's a little short and ends pretty abruptly, leaving us to assume that more is to come. That said, this is off to a good start. You write with a bold, emotional touch, kind of a slash-and-burn style that works well with this story. You really make us feel Faith's pain, and the little sex snippet suggests that there was a little bit of a sub-dom relationship between her and the husband, which is why she was lacking in close friends. Just a couple of nuts-and-bolts things: your editor needs to be a little more careful catching improper word usages (taut, not taught), and I'd break up your paragraphs. Anything more than two sentences in a graf is too many. Reads much better that way. All-in-all, though, a very good effort. Definitely worth a 5.

Thanks for your suggestions! I appreciate every one of them! I realize that my stories are short, but I can't help it. I happen to have quite a bit of responspibilities as a mother & wife. My time for writing is very limited! I am trying very hard right now to finish my move so I can get all of my thoughts down onto the computer for y'all!! I can only hope that you all stay patient with me and come back to help me grow and evolve my writing skills!

--Sithiria

Mikothebaby! You did a wonderful job editing! I may not have caught that fix, so any errors on this chapter are mine=)~!!!

perhaps your feedback would mean more to me if you posted with a real name. I do my best - but I am not perfect - if you think you can dco better - by all means - let us know so you can edit the next chapters. This is my opinion soley and was posted with out the knowledge of the author.

Why haven't you finished this story? I've been waiting.

Why did you stop? You should totally keep this series going, even if it's 6 years difference. You had me hooked, starting your story calm to crying to amused to crying again. You had my emotions jumping all around- which is everything in the beginnings of a great story, let alone series!