All Comments on 'Ugly American Ch. 02'

Thanks for all the readers for sticking with me on this one. Don't know why the looonnnggg delay in posting of tis story....

ugly is as ugly does, but actions speak louder than thunder. TK U MLJ LV NV this is a good story. mlj

if you dont use it in the 3rd...

GREAT STORY

Very entertaining thank you for sharing. I like your style.

If it weren't for bad luck he wouldn't have any at all. :)

Nice read

Love it!

Fantastic. Darrin the hero. I can't wait for Chapter 3.

A fantastic storyline.

Darrin certainly does have his troubles, and life seems to kick him in the nuts a lot.

I hope that he doesn't lose his leg.

I'll be waiting to see what the author has in store for our hero.

Thanks for the fantastic read.

It's a good thing his co-workers made a peg leg for him. All he needs now is a Parrot.

This started out so strong with barbed satirical insights into marital life including the health care system , feminist doublespeak, sanctioned infidelity & pointed observations at the mechanics of this country's (in) justice system. It was hilarious & heartening following the narrator overcoming his travails in these areas.

Now the bad guys are Somalian pirates & hammerheaded, racist, cocaine tooting legal sharks & their aquatic brothers. This 2nd segment has lost the thread of what made the first so good. It's not wretched as a read but it ought to stand alone & be judged by it's against all a new milenium senior Tom Swift versus . travel hazard theme.

Hey............ i thoroughly enjoyed reading your great story.......... but that was so so cruel stopping there. Please do not make us wait so long for the next chapter ...please................ many thanks

Who would'a thought?..............a ripping adventure story on a site like this.

Another 5***** from me. Waiting out (again) for the next instalment. I was wondering about the significance of the title.

Thank you for the story - certainly not our normal LW fare.

A story well worth 5 stars can't wait to see how it concludes

I hope we dont have to wait 2 more days for the ending.......excellent story, i gave it a 5 because there was not anything higher ....cudoes to the author...

Bob

to end the chapter that way LOL

yes a very enjoyable story

The one who mentioned a blue collar Indiana Jones, he's right. This is more action adventure, than loving wives! Not that I'm complaining all too much.

I kinda wonder where this story is going. And for one moment I thought Kadie was Anita's daughter, but that's ofcourse impossible.

There's one part that I don't understand. Given Anita's extremely selfish and arrogant character, it seems unnatural for her to be embarrassed at the "dining at the captain's table" scene. I thought she'd get angry at Darrin and blame him for "humiliating" her, instead of trying to hide herself. It's a little bit out of character for her.

There is one personal nitpick that I have, so ignore if you want to, but please don't write "thru" when you mean "through". It just seems like sloppiness to not write the full word.

Other than that, I'm interested in chapter 3!

guy has more bad luck than the born looser, I can't wait for the chapter where he eats a live grenade to save an Afghani family. Or the one where he defuses a nuclear bomb while eating a hot dog.

Yes you're getting ridiculous with the story line.

yet another powerful cpete story. way to go man

I can't remember the last time I had so much fun reading a LIT story!!

Can't wait for the next one.

Cheers dude,

tomorrow!

have enjoyed the story . lots of plot, a little sex for seasoning.

I endorse the use of action/adventure in LW stories, even if the Loving Wife part becomes minimal at best. We have bigger fish (shark) to fry! Is this story likely or even believable? Who cares? This is such a pleasant change from the usual fare we have been fed here lately. No 12 inch cocks or DD tits were harmed in the writing of this story! (Unless of course, the shark eats our hero!)

When you said all parts were submitted then we had to wait the weekend for next chapter it was like slow touture. Excellent as always!

Oh, how naughty of you to leave me hanging like that! Don't make me wait very long for chapter 3 please.

OK. Enough all ready. Don't keep us hanging, get on with the rest of the story. Great read.

If you keep going at this quality level you may make Literotica create a new category for "Travel" as your story tag lists it. Thank you very much for your great work.

But that thing hanging on my leg is going to pull me off the cliff! I liked the comment that Anita has lost her "style", but Wes could do that to anyone!

I look forward to the next chapter, this is good stuff. Just the right mix for my tastes. Well done with the ex, and asshole. I hope to see their final fall next chapter. My monies on Zoie!

Thank you

M1

This is getting interesting. I know you can't kill off the main character, so I am eager to read the next chapter. Thank You.

Please post Part 3 NOW!

Love the story...can't wait til the next part....You have sooooo much talent...keep writing...

How much injury did your carachter get from a shark? I hope Zoe will help him well, and his leg will remain,will it?

Based on the title, I'm guessing the shark chews off his junk, leaving him, you know...ugly in the groin.

Considering your misspellings in the line where you thank your editor and the incorrect use of the word "then" (should have been "than"), I couldn't even get past the first sentence. Maybe you should get a new editor?

cpete,

I have read most of the authors in this portion of the site and this is the first time I felt compelled to leave a comment.

One word.....MOARRRRRRRR.

And the asshole comment was based mainly on leaving us hanging to the edge of our seats, nails bitten down to the quick searching for part 3.....

Great work. Keep it up.

Ugh! I hate cliffhangers. LOL. anyway, it looks like you're throwing everything in this story of yours. loving it. looks like Darrin is going to get more popular. so, when is the next installment?

Zoie should know there are blood tests and earlier was, intrautarin test for Down syndrome and more save to start a child project after 34 years today as 30 years ago.

1. Fire your so-called editor.

2. Apply for a job as a ghost writer for Clive Cussler. This crap is just as laughably unbelievable as his crap.

he got scorched in part 1, looks like he's been munched in part 2, will there be anything left of him at the end? You missed a good chance here - you could have had Wes and Anita swimming with the sharks.

I haven't had so much fun reading a story in ages. Nice one.

Cpete is delivering a great story. If some of you are so aghast at some minor editing issues to be devoid of any curiosity to continue reading the actual storyline than I pity you.

It's a great yarn and I give this writer 5 - count them f-i-v-e stars. Go ahead Harry - count them. Just hold up one hand and use the fingers and thumb to count that high. It's easy. But then, you may not have read the hand user's manual because of imperfect sentence constructs or a then/than substitution.

I guess you literary geniuses who can so easily tear down someone's work but couldn't write a creative story if your life depended on it, are just too appalled to do anything other than whine.

If you're so upset by edit errors, then go somewhere else for your reading material. The vast majority of the readers of this group could care less about the use of than or then, or who or whom. And we certainly don't care about any editorial remarks from you 'elite English professionals'.

Fun story. A bit of drama, a bit of humor, a bit of....oh well, just a pretty good story.

I read cpete for the same reasons I occasionally watch Maury: for a chance to shake my head in amazement.

This writing should be taken out and shot. Writer, you might be a perfectly charming person, but you cannot write English correctly.

Dr_Know complained about begin upset over a few minor editing errors? No, more like there were a few sentences that DIDN'T have problems. Odd capitalizations, funky punctuation, shifting between first- and second-person narrative, and ridiculous characters acting stupidly... well, it just old really quickly.

Yeah, flame away. You can't deny any of it.

As another commenter wrote, fire your editor. Find one who can actually help you.

Yes, I can appreciate the fact you took time to write this. You should have taken the time to do it well.

Many grammatical errors on the order of a high school essay. You seem to have swapped "then" and "than" incorrectly every time.

This seems to have been your turn to attract the Grammar Nazis, the people with no sense of humor who don't really like stories and so pass their time counting grammatical errors, and the resentful socially-challenged losers who sit in their mother's basements and get a thrill talking ugly to people on the internet. Ignore 'em. You write entertaining stories. Keep it up.

Great cliff hanger. Who cares about editing and correct grammar. Story which is very original comes across . If your feeble mines have a problem grasping the story line maybe go back to grade school !

I need to step in and defend my Editor, as all F'ups are mine. My editor took over 3 hours to edit Chapter #1 and then in a boneheaded move I posted the unedited version.

She was unable to donate enough time for Chapter #2 & #3 so I submitted it "as is"-to the best of my high school challenged grammer skills.

I appreciate the comments, if the grammer offends you..... well I guess you cannot please everyone.

Thanks for reading.

I like what you have done so far. This chapter seemed to start a little abruptly, unless I missed something. I noticed a couple of typos, but nothing worth complaining about.

Keep the stories comming and I will keep on reading them.

I for one think your work is well worth the money I spend to read it.

The machine shop made a peg leg as a gag! Now the shark has his leg. Does he live , does he live with a missing leg or does he die. Cpete what does the future hold. Very nice read. I have enjoyed it very much. Thanks for the entertainment. Looking for chapter 3

tune in next week, same shark time, same shark station......?#!

Episode 2 was a bit of a let-down. The pace seemed wrong, the dialogue a bit stilted. The new romance seemed forced. The wife's almost-involvement seemed besides-the-point; though it was nice to see her and shit-head experience some humiliation. The crash and shark-encounter at the end keeps the excitement up. Good cliff-hanger. It does read like a comic-book. I could see this story line playing out with illustrations, just like a comic-book. I'm sure I'll read the next edition; though this second in the series lacked the emotional impact of the first.

So, let me guess, in part three he'll have to defuse the bomb before it blows up LandShark Stadium during the Super Bowl? JK, great story, looking forward to more of Darrin's adventures.

This is a great story just make sure he doesn't get back with his dumbass exwife. Cant wait for the next adventure.

Great job! I love this story!

So okay it is the LW equivalent of "The Perils of Pauline' but who cares I love it.Too bad scumbag the lawyer wasn't on the plane,though.sharks won't eat lawyers out of professional courtesy.Dying to see what comes next...

I cannot wait for your next chapter! I hope you tie it up in the next one. I would only be worried about it if you were DanielQSteele....then i would make plans for a chapter 30 or so.

Which brings up an interesting point....Since you are in South Florida, you could put Wesley being reduced to a quivering mass by Bill Maitland

End the chapter with that.cliff hanger. Should be ashamed of yourself. I can only hope you have the next one redy to post. Thanks for the great read.

If Miko is too busy with Stang's stuff, let me know. I would happily edit anything you submit. I'm very glad you told us that all three parts have been submitted, so I know I won't have to wait long.

My only criticism is that you jumped the shark with this ending. The last cliffhanger was plausible, but this bis just a tad cliche.

Still looking forward to the ending, though. Keep up the good work!

Wulf

childishly overboard - pun intend.

That was bad.

The ass-kissers who praised you have NO IDEA what good writing is.

Anyone who enjoyed this is a pathetic lowlife who thinks wet dreams are the stuff of literature.

Any competent fifth-grader would have done better.

Get a real editor, or quit polluting the site with this shite.

It never ceases to amaze me how those who can't, spend so much time telling others who do, that they did it wrong.

At least on this site "JustforPosting" has not posted anything of lit value; however he slams others who do. This story is fiction, it is free to those of you who wish to read it. The story takes nothing from you except the time to read it if you actually can or do read it.

Most of the commentators on this site write like graduates of the PUBLIC SCHOOL SYSTEM. If an author needs some help with editing then show how great you are and offer to help out, not so hard unless that is beyond your pay scale.

I myself am not creative in this medium, however, I can appreciate the efforts of those who are and who take the time to entertain us. If you are not entertained by free then perhaps you should spend real money and buy a book then you can slam those authors in what ever medium that will accept your drivel.

Thank you cpete for your efforts, awaiting you next segment of this story. Keep on writing I for one appreciate it.

JustForPosting, would you please get back to making the fries. There are customers waiting at the drive through window.

Your Mom called-wants you to clean up your room or she is going to throw you out of the basement.

Look this word up . It's just for you !!!!! (Qutobosh) Hint !! Look in Uzebk language .

Damn cpete, that was sneaky. Who'd a thought of a shark in a South Beach laden story of Love and betrayal. Great story and to my liking Lad.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

It was too unrealistic for my taste.

Why would he ever leave America again? The first time he leaves on a ship he is attacked by pirates and gets first/second degree burns, this time his plane crashes breaks his nose and it looks as though he will lose a leg or two. What next will he go to the zoo and have his arms ripped off by an angry gorilla? Drown in a tsunami?

Again I do like this and I like you as an author but the tale of woe is unrealistic and slightly silly.

Get a new editor! Mikothebaby sucks as an editor and not just in your story. The grammatical, punctuation and spelling errors she leaves is unbelievable. Words in sentences in the wrong order and the worst and annoys the crap out of me, is that you write THRU, when it should be THROUGH, Mikothebaby should know that! Among many of her many errors in her so called editing. FIRE HER!!!! I have given up on reading a lot of stories that the writer claims to be edited by her, isn't the role of an editor meant to 'fix' most if not all errors of writers, who do the right thing and want to improve their writing? She just doesn't do that!

As for your comment, cpete about it being submitted without her editing it? Why did you claim it was? Or are you just lying to protect Mikothebaby from the backlash? Like I said previously, yours is not the only one she has edited and it always leaves a lot to be desired. If she 'doesn't have time' it means she is putting in a piss poor job of editing and it's no wonder all the stories with her editing turn out the way they do. You claimed this chapter was edited by her at the start, yet in that comment you said she didn't?

Darin the hero? Where the fuck was Kadie's parents? Wasn't her family on the plane too? Such caring parents not wanting to know where the fuck their 16 year old daughter was when the plane went down?

and our hero is right in the hunt. TK U MLJ LV NV

Thanks for the offering.

Just love the story.

Introduce your wife to this guy, never get on a plane, train or boat with him. Don`t stand next to him in a storm. Hell, if you see him on the street, cross over to the other side. This dumb bastard is just plain bad luck!

Thank you. You can really write. The cliff-hanger doesn't even bother me since I see the next chapter is already published.

But why didn't the tenders move to intercept the sharks?

I do love ACTION in these stories. This one is great, not repetitive action, but pirates...plane crashes...shark attacks...ffs man! Great stuff.

“He knows the bar waiters brother, we could get upgraded.” – I could be wrong, but somehow I don’t see bar waiters having much pull in upgrades!

Thank you for your story

Sharks? what a 'tail'.

"I'd rather be good then lucky any day” - Shouldn’t that be “lucky than good?”

Why is money important? Doesn’t he have the big settlement from Wes’s company?

“On any one day, I was meeting with more people, from more nations, than I had in my whole life back up north.” – LOL, just think, Anita could have been sharing this with him!

“I am going back to that tiny fucking shithole without a window they call a cabin." – I guess the bartender couldn’t get him an upgrade!

We are all here to enjoy a story. Mr. Brooks, you are always over critical. Siskel, Ebert and Brooks......three opinions that don't matter. I won't criticize because I'm not a writer, but sir, your stories are not even an equal to cpete and the others you critique. I do read your stories as I do everyone else and yes I do enjoy them. Please tone your THOUGHTS down, too wordy and to many.

Good story enjoying

Action never stops. *****

This poor guy can't catch a break!!!

More than a 5. Just great

Well done. Five stars.

What a great story! After the highs of the relationship with Zoie, and Wes and Anita’s humiliation, the poor guy is in a plane crash. The plane almost falls on the Love Boat, but before he can be rescued Jaws gets him. Too much good stuff for one story.

Thoroughly enjoying every bit of this story . . . almost a "decent" one for a fuck-site! Anyway, keep it going . . . Great job, Author!

What a tale full of surprises nice.

WOW. I didn't think a second part could surpass the first one. Well it probably didn't but it is just as great! What an amazing story! Wish could give it 10 stars!

This story is an excellent read!

Jumped the shark.....

What the hell, it fiction and the author can make anything happen that they want to, but what are the odds that the ROYAL VIKING was within easy distance of the plane crashing? I'm thinking Darrin leads a charmed life now that he got rid of his cheating wife. Just wondering how shark bite Darrin will turn this crap sandwich into a win?

The amount of disbelief we're meant to suspend is simply too much. It's started to read like something from the mind of a teenager.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Outstanding!