All Comments on 'Unwilling Ch. 02'

how can Alpha Carl get away with abusing (and from your foreshadowing, possibly killing) so many in the pack without other weres figuring it out?

Don't stop, this story is great. Chapter 3 soon!!

It seems like the dominates are not all bright and easily susceptible to discord if their alpha goes crazy. I think that's why so few have noticed. The doms need the subs but without it their going bad as well.

I'm intrigued. I missed why he had taken Darwin to the basement before the meeting though. I thought he waited till after. I think it sucks that Jared did that to Harry. Some alpha he'll make. Not real good to use his position to break up a friendship. What about caring about submissives? He knew the outcome. He should have been able to expect Darwin would give in eventually from what Harry did and didn't say. So, I'm not convinced he's that good a guy but apparently he'd be a dream compared to the abusive, murdering, current alpha. Looking forward to more character development.

This is gonna sound confusing, but I would recommend putting background info in before you move the storyline ahead and then have to quickly add the info needed to clarify. Ok, to try to make sense of that...it could help to put in the information about the heirarchy before you get into what his Alpha is doing or when you start them off in woods and then later explain that they're in college and they do this leading hikes as a job. Those are really basic examples, but it might help to read over and see if you can get what I'm saying. The second chapter was better. It seemed like you set things up with background info before getting into them. The only confusion for me was, like I said, why did he take him down before he held the meeting?

I look forward to seeing where you go with this.

I don't know what Cannd is talking about, you are doing a wonderful job on this story Jinx, and the meeting was over wasn't it? (Shufling of chairs, almost making it out the door. Sounds like the meeting was over to me) Not having all the answers now this early is what will bring me back to check for next chapters. Intrriguing story!. I like that you didn't have them falling into bed right away, slow simmer..LOL.

I agree as well, I had the perception that the meeting was clearly over. Jared was an idiot but being an alpha doesn't preclude Jared from being young and stupid. He is only 19 after all. Honestly, I think that incident fits with his character, as well as providing an additional source of conflict within the story and the possible bonds I see them creating.

Oh, be careful of your homophones. Mute means silent, moot means pointless. You used mute when you should have used moot here on the third page.

Yeah, the meeting was over before he took him downstairs. Was that unclear? Gotta fix that :(

Wasn't Jared supposed to be there?

I'm enjoyin the story so far and can't wait for the next installment. hopefully not long to wait :)

I didn't think it was unclear. *Laugh* and I made the mute/moot mistake here lately myself. :)

Can't wait for ch 3.

What a traitor, that Harry. That made me stop reading.

Personally I disagree with people criticizing Harry - he's following his instincts, and if Jared chose to manipulate him, what can he do?

I like how there's a better explanation now for Darwin's position - he can't leave because he fears something will happen to his adopted father, presumably. Is it a health concern, or does he think the Alpha might hurt his old friend?

We see the strain on Darwin is caused by pretending to be dominant. The strain is getting worse with Jared in the picture, putting more demands on his submissive nature, and making it harder to hide, which is also why he rejects him. This all makes sense - but it's still unclear whether the Alpha knows about Darwin, or just has a strong suspicion, or if he interrogates everyone so brutally?

At the end of the first chapter, I was worried about whether you'd be able to explain all the questions chapter 1 raised, specifically about Darwin's character, and I think this chapter does that perfectly. A really good job, for what my opinion's worth.

I am surprised by how much I like this series. My heart just broke for Harry and Darwin.

i love this story! write more! *pretty please?*

Please hurry with the next chapter

I've hit a rough patch (writer's block I guess...) right now, so I'll probably need another two or three weeks to finish the next part. Thank you for all the comments so far, I'll try to follow up on all the suggestions :)

Unfortunate to hear about the writer's block. You know, you can always use my favorite trick when I feel like I've written myself into a bit of a corner: just flash forward to what you're comfortable with and go from there. Here, if you don't want to write a graphic torture/bondage scene between the Alpha and Darwin, just flash forward to his return to the university, with Jared trying to corner him to explain / get some answers about his Alpha. You could probably write a scene very much like what happened between Jared and Darwin, with Jared finding a bruised and battered Darwin and demanding some explanation.

I wonder if a good end game scenario for this story isn't to have Darwin's Alpha as a pretender just like Darwin? You've already set up the idea that dominants become dangerously unstable without a dedicated submissive, and perhaps the Alpha's mate can't fill that role for a dominant pretending to be an Alpha? That'd explain his unstable hostility for submissives - an expression of his repressed need. And it'd set up a nice basis for confrontation between Jared and the Alpha. Actually, come to think of it, maybe the fake Alpha could've been responsible for sidelining Darwin's adoptive father? Did he learn the truth?

Oh well, I hope you get back to writing soon. The story so far is such a promising start.

Such a wonderful story. Please update. Many are eagerly waiting for this.

FANTASTIC!

Oh wow! This chapter was super. I think your story is definitely refreshing from the normal way relationships develop in many werewolf stories. your doing exactly what you set out to do. Keep up the good work.

It's simply cruel that you haven't given us chapter 3 yet!!

I love this story! i hope Jared saves Darwin! btw why did you choose Darwin as a name?

Really good chapter but I'm confused about why Jared did what he did to Harry when he really wants Darwin. That didn't make any sense to me, if you could clarify .

Write more, please! This is a really good story, and I would love to see it in full development!

~pencilshavings

I've been working on something else for a few months, but right now I'm eyeing Unwilling again. I'm still working on this, don't worry ;) Sometimes people just need a bit of a break.

It's really good.I LOVE LOVE this story.:) the only thing i don't like is the use of dominant & submissive. It throws me off i keep thinking off bdms type thing. and Im not too keen on that stuff. But that's just my opinion. I'D rather like the terms like Alpha , Beta & Omega. Alphas are Leaders, who Control and keep their pack in line. Beta's have no free will and are bound too servitude Alpha's. and Omega's are lone wolves. by either free will or kicked out. but good job on this story. :) keep it up , would love to read a published book by you any day .- Luis

would like to see an ending to this great story.

I'm usually kind of skeptic about werewolf stories because they're so often....poorly done. Not so with this story. I really love the elements you've worked into it so far, and I really want to see more. ......There -is- more, right? *hopeful* Please keep writing, this is fantastic.

So when can we expect chapters 3 or 4 or 5 ...... may we please have some more.

5 stars

I've just submitted Chapter 3. Should be up in the next few days ;) This was giving me quite a headache, but now that it's done I've already started with the fourth part.

So glad you are continuing with this story. It's great and I cant wait. It's been soooooo long!! :o)

Excellent story. Very different.

I HATE CARL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sick bastard!!!!!

and he's probably orchestrating the whole "killing submissive" and the "breaking-in and killing"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love romantic werewolf stories, and so far this is one of the best.