Vibrator Jack

"Well so is drunken driving. What do I need to pull Jacqi from the brink? Oh would you guys like another bottle of wine?"

As the waited for the wine waiter to return Peter said, "As I see it your only hope is to soften the hearts of the interview panel. Because each breach is different there is some discretion left to the disciplinary panel so to a degree judgments are subjective."

"Oh crap."

"Sorry Jack," said his pal John. "Peter has a law degree so knows our rules, regulations and policies inside out."

Peter smiled thinly. "It's a straight breach and not being of a malicious nature or likely to cause civil unrest or unfairly attack authorities the broadcast standards authorities will probably leave it to the station to deal with the matter internally. They would have reacted almost immediately upon receiving notification of the breach. Fortunately for your client Jack they have received a swag of breaches to deal with lately so will have acknowledged receipt of the breach and told your client's station to deal with it."

"Thanks Peter. This has been most helpful. How did you and John become friendly?" And with that the lunch chat continued at a social level.

Jack went into the room set aside for him off the boardroom. Jacqi, white-faced and looking tense, was waiting for him.

"You haven't returned my calls, I've been frantic to speak to you."

Jack had to fight from grinning. He wanted her to feel threatened so she'd act responsibly and impress the panel by her sincerity and be aware she'd committed a serious transgression.

"Sorry but I was unable to get back for strategic reasons. You said yesterday Pauline wanted me to represent her. Where is she?"

"She's not coming because she's reversed that decision. She's decided to hand in a statement saying she was guilty of bad judgment and will accept any punishment handed out.

Jack said softly. "Bring her to me Jacqi, quickly. We only have fifteen minutes before kick-off."

"What if she doesn't want to come?"

"Drag her."

The over-weight puffy-lipped woman with great skin, in her mid-forties came in and smiled. "Hi.'

Jack came straight out with it. "I sent Jacqi the..."

"I know Jack and thought it was an amazing present from a guy. I authorized..."

"Without due consideration of the consequences?"

"Yes."

"That's a defense, a rather shallow one but nevertheless is indicates mitigating circumstances."

"Did you feel under pressure to say yes?"

"Well yes."

"There we go. Allow me to represent you Pauline. You ought to get off with just a severely delivered warning and your indiscretion noted on your work record.

"Indiscretion. I was totally..."

"Indiscreet weren't you Pauline, and no more than somewhat indiscreet?

Pauline stared at Jack, rather darkly.

"Remember it's your career we're talking about here Pauline but no way should you be evasive or untruthful, but you know it's in your interest to chose the right words very carefully, don't you, and to withhold any spontaneous utterances when being questioned?"

Pauline's eyes dropped and he knew he'd won.

"Yes Jack. Please represent me and I accept your experienced advice."

"I may look young Pauline but my professors acknowledge that in my endeavors in the mock adversarial cases I took on that I'm like a hungry dog with a bone."

She smiled.

"So I'm to shoulder all blame and responsibility?" Jacqi said.

Jack responded ruthlessly, "Isn't that where it belongs?"

Jacqi dropped her eyes and said yes.

"That allows the panel to see there is meat in the case they are dealing with. With luck they are already prepared to excuse Pauline so we go to work on you. Just speak carefully and with intelligence Jacqi, always mindful that I shall be leading you. You have just turned twenty-eight so think of yourself as being mature and as a journalist having the experience to predict how I might be expecting you to answer the question. I have the names of the three board members on the panel plus the station's chief attorney and the station's director of operations and we are in luck. Board decisions require only a simple majority."

"How can that be lucky?" Pauline asked.

"Three of the five are women?"

"Well spotted Jacqi. We don't have a leg to stand on legally because a breach is a breach. So we go in for high emotion and mitigating circumstances. Go grab a copy of your CV Jacqi. Underline your birth date and photocopy it. Oh neither of you mention the present was a vibrator, leave that to me."

"J-a-c-k," Jacqi groaned.

"Sorry Jacqi but I believe you career is more important to you right now than your pride."

Pauline said, "He's right Jacqi. Think about it. It's almost 10:00 so run and fetch that document. God even I'm going to be embarrassed over this one."

"Oh guys, more possible embarrassment," Jack grinned. "An embargoed statement for release to news media for use from 10:00 this morning has been released by my office incorporating both of your names as appearing before a disciplinary board hearing today. It involves the unauthorized broadcast of a personal message at the end of a TV news item at 6:08 on the 30th of last month. In it Pauline you are described as the city's leading prime time TV news producer and Jacqi is called a rising star on your TV news team."

"Oh god," the women said in dismay.

Jack continued. "The media release was hand-delivered to this TV station at 9:40 and no doubt a copy is in the hands of the chairman of our panel and she will read it to members of her panel before they enter the boardroom. They will be horrified that news of this hearing has leaked by me but their attorney member will rightly point out there's nothing to prevent an outside attorney involved from releasing a media statement, however unusual that might be."

"Oh Jack," Jacqi groaned, the whites of her eyes showing as she looked to the ceiling.

"Further when we come out a bunch of media people will be waiting and the chairman will know she should make a statement to avoid being mauled by the media."

Jack smiled. "Okay you guys? Let's go in and make this our day in the sun."

Jack grinned when he heard Jacqi say, "I can't believe this" and Pauline say a little hesitantly, "He looks to know what he's doing. You did say he's fully qualified?"

* * *

Prominent accountant Mrs Alison Cooke chaired the panel. After Jack had introduced himself Mrs Cooke held up a media statement.

"Do you recognize this statement Mr Holt?"

"Indeed I do ma'am. I am responsible for its release. I would point out it contains no emotive language and nothing to support the cases of my clients. Its release is lawful even in this context and hopefully the message it sends out will be a powerful deterrent to other broadcasters that their actions are constantly under scrutiny. I should image the publicity generated out of this breach will show this station in very good light. Bringing staff to account for even minor misdemeanors is an import part of the process that permits orderly public broadcasting under license."

Mrs Cooke said she would move on and read the charge that had been made against the two women and being described as irresponsible and unacceptable conduct, risking bringing their employer into disrepute. She asked had either of them anything to say on their behalf.

"No ma'am."

"No ma'am."

Mrs Cooke sighed and invited Jack to proceed.

He said his client Miss Jacqi Fontaine had instructed him to submit that she was entirely to blame to the stupidity of tacking on a personal message to the end of her news item. She acknowledged it was unprofessional and occurred because of a rush a blood at receiving a hilarious birthday present from a Jack somebody. Her producer Mrs Pauline Payne had been doubled up in laughter when Jacqi said she ought to thank Jack and Mrs Payne said yes she should and that was the extent of Mrs Payne's involvement.

His client added the thanks message when ending her voice-over, the words being, 'Awesome gift, thanks Jack.'

Mrs Cooke said, "We are intrigued about that aspect of Miss Fontaine's breach Mr Holt. Exactly was the gift?"

"I am unsure whether it was a gift or rubbish ma'am. Perhaps Miss Fontaine should answer."

"Oh god," Jacqi murmured, standing. "Ma'am it was my birthday so I was very happy because my parents had given me a new SUV that morning.. The gift arrived packed in a polished aluminum case and that made me suspect it was a watch or perhaps an expensive bracelet."

"Ma'am?"

"Go on Jacqi."

"It was a classic 7-inch pink plastic shimmer battery-operated vibrator, consigned to me without batteries."

The three women behind the table convulsed into giggles while the two men appeared appalled.

When order was restored Mrs Fountain said, "If this gets out Mr Holt this TV station will be the laughing stock of the city."

"I understand that ma'am. No doubt there will be a couple of reporters waiting outside for the panel's decision when this hearing concludes. Might I suggest you make the statement and my clients and I if questioned will make not comment about...er...?"

"It's called a vibrator Mr Holt."

"Thank you ma'am. We undertake to make no mention of er that present, Perhaps Miss Fontaine could say she'd been headstrong with excitement over the SUV her parents had given her and she'd received a gift from her boyfriend.

"Wouldn't it be best not to mention the boyfriend?"

'Ma'am how will the name Jack be explained?"

"Ah and may I ask if that Jack is you Mr Holt?"

"Ma'am is that question really relevant to these proceedings?"

"Proceed Mr Holt."

"Well summing up, I think my submission shows Mrs Payne's role in this was extremely minor and one could see how she could have thought Jacqi meant she'd phone her boyfriend to thank him rather than thank him publicly and on air. You could of course question Mrs Payne about that."

"What were your thoughts on that Mrs Payne?"

"Ma'am we'd been laughing hysterically and I do recall waving my hand and saying something like 'go ahead.'

"Did you run the clip before screening?"

"No my script supervisor did that because it was a voice-over. I could add she was under-pressure and so may have been concentrating more on the running time of the clip rather than content. I could see if she's come in yet if you wish and bring her to you."

The chairman consulted her panel and said that would not be necessary. "Carry on Mr Holt."

"Miss Fontaine makes no excuse for her unprofessional behavior but asks that mitigating circumstances be taken into account but carefully weighed, those being she was in perpetual excitement at having been given a car and then there was her boyfriend's present. Miss Fontaine advises she's lost sleep over this and is obviously remorseful and repentant. I have spoken to Miss Fontaine about penalty and she believes being read the riot act and being stood down for a week without pay would be acceptable to her. I agree. Some penalty must be imposed otherwise you'll have the regulatory authority on your back. However, a penalty more severe that what Miss Fontaine finds acceptable would leave me unhappy. Thank you ma'am."

Jacqi whispered, "I don't wish to be suspended for a week. God what a disgrace."

Jack whispered, "They are entitled to recommend you be fired Jacqi."

"Thank you Mr Holt. Have any members of the panel any questions?"

The TV company's chief attorney asked, "Mr Holt. You suggested you would be unhappy if any penalty was more severe. What did you mean by that?"

"I'd advise my client to seek a judicial review of the decision."

"I see. And the matter of the vibrator?"

"We would find it necessary to produce that in evidence to the judge."

"Thank you Mr Holt."

"My pleasure Mrs Scott-Livingston."

Film screws from three TV stations and eight reporting teams from radio stations and newspapers listened to Mrs Cooke when she said Miss Jacqi Fontaine's breach of broadcasting standards had greatly embarrassed Channel 8 TV. Miss Fontaine has been suspended for two weeks without pay.

"Are your happy with that penalty Miss Fontaine?"

"Yes I find that acceptable and I still feel ashamed of my unprofessional behavior. My attorney standing with me, Jack Holt of Holt and Samuel, attorneys at law, said there was a chance the panel could have recommended my contract be terminated."

"You mean you could have been fired."

"Yes."

"That would have been a great loss to TV news Jacqi."

"Thank you Wendy. I love my job as a frontline TV reporter and Channel 8 TV is an excellent employer. God I'm so sorry I let them down with that brain flip."

"Yes that message at the end of Jacqi's voice-over, "Awesome gift, thanks Jack," was that Jack you Mr Jack Holt."

"Indeed it was."

"Rumor has it your present was a long, thin pink dildo."

"Well you know what rumors are like."

"Miss Fontaine was Jack's present a pink dildo?"

"Actually it was a vibrator. I opened it in front of everyone at work and reacted in embarrassed hysteria and that's what made me flip. But it contained no batteries."

"Jacqi what did that omission of batteries mean to you?"

"Well Sue, I guess it gave me the option of using it as a bedroom ornament. Nothing is ever straightforward with Jack."

"Give me a pose with you two waving the vibrator in victory Miss Fontaine."

"No I don't have the device with me and how can I wave in victory when I feel chastised for my serious indiscretion?"

"Okay everyone, that's it," said Jack. "Thanks for coming along and being so sympathetic. It's all my fault; bad choice of present."

"Thank god for those two public confessions," Mrs Cooke murmured. "I'm out of here."

When Jack and his two clients stepped back inside Pauline, crying, kissed Jack and said, "It's incredible. You got me off without even a reprimand."

"I targeted that, Pauline. All the focus had to be in Jacqi and her vibrator."

"God for a time there I thought I was walking to the guillotine," Jacqi laughed, sounding a little shaky.

"The stakes were high because of the risk I was taking. I bet their attorney would blink, unable to resist asking my reaction should there be a more severe penalty. I think at the start they were out for you head."

"Oh god, Jack. You can't take risks with people like that."

"We would have won the judicial review because there I would have had you represented by my mom. She's so skilled she can get a mouse to hand over it cheese."

"What?"

"You get used to him Pauline. He teases and like a kid thinks in pictures at times."

"What?"

"Weren't you diverted by the thought of a mouse handing over its piece of cheese?"

"Oh yeah."

"That's jack playing with his best toy, his mouth."

"Oh god," Pauline said, laughing hysterically.

"No, no Pauline, I didn't mean using his mouth that way."

The three of them went across the street to a bar to celebrate and Jack noticed a white-haired guy with a florid face and heavy jowl glancing at them occasionally. Finally the guy came over.

"Hi Pauline."

"Hi Stan."

Stan said hi to Jacqi and she said. "Hi Mr Edwards. Please join us if you wish."

Stan Edwards smiled at the Jack and said, "Ah, these women's hot-shot attorney. We thought Jacqi was gone and Pauline would have her grading reduced."

"Jack, this is our editor-in-chief Stanley Edwards."

"Call me Stan. Congratulations Jack."

Jack said modestly, "We just got lucky."

"As Alison Cooke tells it, you had her and her panel over a barrel. She said they were brave enough to add a second week to Jacqi's stand down period. Look Jacqi, I want you to work for two weeks without pay and make it known you are working without pay. We'll even up later with bonus payments."

"Yes Mr Edwards. Thank you for the allowing me to do that."

"Well I haven't finished yet and call me Stan. I'll taking you two off general news work. Pauline you'll be promoted to head a special unit and carry the title of executive producer with a staff of one and that's Jacqi who'll jump three steps to senior reporter. You will have a film crew under your control and a five-seat van. Pauline you'll also go out with the crew and act as director. I want this to be a tight, effective and productive unit and you'll have a 7-minute segment during the 6:00 pm newscast hour called, 'Under the Headlines'. It needs to be tight and racy covering such things as the state of the city's oldest school, four families living in one house, boy racers, street gangs and prostitution. I'll give you a proper briefing tomorrow. Temporary people are already in your old jobs pending permanent appointments. Do you want this opportunity or not?"

"Yes please," Jacqi said excitedly.

"Well..." Pauline hesitated.

"Your slot only runs week nights and you'll have three weeks to prepare, beginning tomorrow. You'll be responsible for your own promo Pauline."

"Okay, I'm in providing the work the same hours as at present."

"Become efficient and you'll find yourself working shorter hours. We have to find a sponsor. I suppose your choice would be sex toys Jacqi?"

They all laughed and Jacqi sunk down in her seat in embarrassment."

Stan left to rejoin his group and the women talked excitedly about their new roles and Jack watched, delighted for them and thinking they'd should gel well, Pauline the experienced and steady one, Jacqi with her energy and emerging talent to burn. What a combination.

* * *

Jack arrived home very late for dinner but his parents had waited for him.

Laudonia said, "Oh darling, we saw the piece about you and Jacqi and Pauline Payne. Pauline's mother is a client of mine."

"But not Pauline?"

"No so you haven't poached a client from me. You father and I were very proud of you and you finished your comment beautifully, being seen as a thorough gentleman and not allowing your girl to take the blame. Your father became overcome with embarrassment when I whined and said he'd never given me a vibrator."

Later Jack said he would be away for the night.

"You may bring Jacqi here for the night if you wish."

"No and thanks mom. She's booked a top room in our top hotel because she wishes to reward me tonight. It will be the first time we've been together. She's had a promotion so I have to assume her career is away on the right track.

"You must bring her to lunch."

"Will Sunday suit you mom? I'm anxious for you to meet her and I believe you and her mom will get along so well. She appears to be a bit of a powerhouse, like you."

"Thank you for saying that Jack. I know Louise Fontaine very well. She's a member of our Wednesday morning coffee club and we often play together at Bridge on Saturday afternoons. These days she's always asking how you are. She told me you were keeping in the background until Jacqi settled into her reporting career."

"Well, well. I forgot to ask did you know her mom. Invited the parents to lunch as well."

* * *

Jack called Jacqi when in a cab heading for the CBD. She was already in the suite and sounded very excited.

"Mommy wants to hug and kiss you so much for working so brilliantly on my behalf. She wants me to marry you."

"Yeah well mothers react like that don't they?"

"Does you mom think the same thing?"

"Yeah."

"Ohmigod. Should we run away?"

Jack laughed. "What are your wearing?"

"My best clothes because I want you to undress me. But I'd like champagne and light supper first. I'll head for the Rendezvous Restaurant in a couple of minutes. Meet me there.

They sat almost shoulder at the table sipping champagne, Jack lightly stroking Jacqi's hair and she was slowly tilting even closer to Jack.

"Soon I'll be stroking this beautiful hair of yours, your body totally nude."

"Oooh Jack."

"And then I'll stoke the long, soft hair of your glorious bush."