All Comments on 'Water'

This one could have been in the humor category.😏

Why take it out on Bob on his release, his wife was as much to blame if not more so?

Society doesn't like dudes hitting women even though they want equal rights. So he's got to take it out on Bob.

Well Laurie wouldn't be with Bob unless Bob was hitting on her and telling her that he had a huge cock! Bob got the drugs. He told Laurie how much of the drugs to place in the water. Technically Bob deserves the most punishment. Well Bob is going to get introduce to a Louisville slugger when he gets patrolled! Batter up! Lmao!

Excellent BTB and its all legal.

On second look I’ll say this. The story as written says that any of the three chemicals in their doses could cause seizures, so his addition of the poisons may have been OTT but not by much. People forget that even prescribed medication when taken by someone other than whom it was prescribed for can lead to deadly consequences.

Personally I’m wondering what his wife’s reaction to his statement was. It would have been interesting to know, but not necessarily pertinent to the story. Also, what about his in laws, how did they react to their “murdering” daughter?

be careful what you drink when your mate isn't square/. TK U MLJ LV NV

I think reading carefully will show that the cheaters only put the sleep meds in the bottle. He added the extras to the bottle and then drank the epicac. A great double BTB story.

Prison was good but should have been for attempted murder or if it stays as is, then both culprits should receive a little excitement and danger upon release. Hubby was too much of a wimp.

I liked it lots! 5*

I liked it until the end. When you lefty out some important details. Did he keep EVERYTHING in their divorce since she had tried to kill him? Or did he have to give her something? Did his wife not tip to his "a little excitement, a little danger" speech? What did their families have to say about this whole messy affair? This needed more details at the end.

Even though he juiced the sleeping pill water, he should have let them go for attempted murder. That would have been suitable payback. Then forget the whore and the baseball bat revenge.

Again, like the previous commenter said. This one is great, but a few more pages to flesh it out would be great.

That is a really odd combo for a knock out drug.

He added the rat poison and foxglove himself

*5 great

Still a great story. Still waiting for more.

4 stars for a OK BTB. It would have been 5 stars is either he didn't do something stupid like ask DA to go easy on her, OR, found himself a good life afterward (as the best revenge).

3/5, not bad.

Shit not bad for a short one.

Good story! 5*****! More than the sexual infidelity, this story really brings out the selfish nature of betrayal. I liked it.

meh no emotion...no real dialogue...not much...

3 stars

And you ask for lenient sentences? 2nd degree assault with all those poisons? That's attempted murder, not assault. I suppose you think they were too hard on Ted Bundy.

I read it again. There is an economy of words here that I admire. It isn't terse; it's just right with a flow and a clarity that keeps the reader engaged. Good job!

Another female victim of the Martian Slut ray

He asked for leniency because they weren't out to poison him. He added a "couple ingredients" to his own water in the garage which I assume was the poison and Foxglove. Good story but his revenge actions seemed too scripted since his discovery would have made any kind of thinking impossible. His mind would have been a bit occupied, I would think.

Was good until you bitched out. I use that term alot on this site now. Not looking good. 3*

For The Folks

Who really didn't really read the story and think they Were trying to kill him you should think about the meaning of this one paragraph "In the garage I emptied out half of the bottle of water, added a couple extra ingredients, shook well and put it in the cup holder on the center console. I had to stop at the drug store before going to the liquor store. Something I remembered that my grandmother always kept in her medicine cabinet, and threatened us kids with, was called Syrup of Ipecac. I've never dared cross grandma because I knew what Syrup of Ipecac was for. It was ideal for my situation now." What do you suppose those "couple extra ingredients" were? Then if you don't know what Syrup of Ipecac is used for and what it does look it up online. He poisoned himself then used the Ipecac to induce vomiting to set them up. Regardless he still took one hell of a chance, that said the man had balls, big brass ones. After all of that he still has plans for Bob who isn't going to have his for very long when he gets out of the slammer. *****'s Signed: BTW

It is an idea but implausible. Which man would poisoned himself intentionally to deal with a cheating wife? Then to count it won't end up deadly for him? Really? Toxicology report would have to be explained in the court, it would not go that easy for a criminal conviction as it is in this story.

A lot of writers have ideas that are not rational, this is one of them.

u ever hear of absorption? have u ever put a hit of acid in ur mouth? murder, hiv, prison, thats some weird priorities. cheating>prison, HIV, murder, u humans hold sex too damn high damn animals. ur stories are extreme i hope ur getting it all out of ya.

Medically, I'm (as a layman) not sure it quite works, but it's a cute payback scenario! However, it would have been another story entirely if the authorities figured out he had faked his own poisoning to falsely incriminate his cheating wife and her loverboy. Hubby might have been the one facing charges, while they were left to cavort!

[20.05.23]

Well written!

11/10!!!!!

[20.05.23] - pt. duex!

I forgot...

'Wojohowitz' seems close to a Barney Miller name.

S?:>}

I don't know if you still read comments, radk but I loved this story! Thanks!

Note even close to payback needed. Too wimpy a stoy.

very,very good entertaining story,so well written that it sounds like this scenario actually happened and that is the best way to write good fiction..you made him man enough to act decisively and promptly to the situation and intelligent enough to know how to take steps to poison himself safely and present a picture of a nieve unsuspecting husband..I really like this tale..5 stars..JZK

Very creative. Entertaining.

Most men do not realize how vindictive women can be, if you are standing in the way of them achieving a goal. And today’s women don’t really need men, so the bonding over mutual needs isn’t as strong. I feel sorry, for the younger generation- 5 stars.

I think the previous anonymous comment was a little off, I don't think vindictive is the right word. Some of you may come up with a better one. In this case, I would choose "evil". Evil heart, evil mind, all driven from selfishness and narcissism. In this case both by this stupid so-called wife and the scumbag coworker.

5 stars

I dont drink bottled water. Only tapped.

You'd have to poison an entire neighborhood to get to me.

Well this was supposed to have a realistic view to it but the very thing that was really supposed to do it was the very thing that made it bullshit and that was the fact that they were charged with something other than attempted murder and when Said if they didn't take the ple it would be attempted murder of the 2nd degree stating that alone is bullshit cause attempted murder is a first degree felony not 2nd nothing about that charge can be 2nd degree 2 you Said they offered a ple cause he didn't want revenge that's bullshit as well do the fact the state was picking up those charges Rather the husband pressed charges or not also when it comes to certain charges especially attempted murder there is no ple bargain to be made the da will try to convict to the fullest extent of the law next time I suggest you not write a fantasy story that was clearly meant to have realistic views In it cause its clear you have no clue what the word realistic even means I also suggest you not write about laws and something that is against the law when you clearly have no idea what you are talking about if you must write about it then do your damn research and studies before writing about it that way you don't look like a complete idiot like you do atm

The end with him meeting Bob with a baseball bat, AFTER he gets out of prison wasn't really necessary, imo. Bob's probably already gonna be pretty fucked up. Also, PhoenixLore1981, go back to school so you can find out what a period is, of the punctuation kind. Hell, learn what punctuation is at all. I'm seriously glad you haven't written any stories, based on your comment.

Why would the mc ask for leniency, made the whole thing a nonsense.

Yeah... the whole "lets drug hubby and screw" trope has some serious issues with it - the first of course, being the illegality of it and the second part being that the drugs that they tend to use can be fatal if the dosage is wrong or if there is a drug reaction. Waiting for the cuck story where the wife drugs her husband to screw her bull and then finds out she killed him and goes to jail for life.

Nice turnabout story line. Well written. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Strange tale. Four stars.

JPB NOT BOB

I like the idea but the ending was a bit rushed. The conversation between the MC and his slut wife after his hospitalization should have been presented in detail. The point at which the evildoer is forced to acknowledge and explain their actions is the seminal moment in a story such as this.