All Comments on 'Water'

I like the idea but the ending was a bit rushed. The conversation between the MC and his slut wife after his hospitalization should have been presented in detail. The point at which the evildoer is forced to acknowledge and explain their actions is the seminal moment in a story such as this.

Strange tale. Four stars.

JPB NOT BOB

Nice turnabout story line. Well written. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Yeah... the whole "lets drug hubby and screw" trope has some serious issues with it - the first of course, being the illegality of it and the second part being that the drugs that they tend to use can be fatal if the dosage is wrong or if there is a drug reaction. Waiting for the cuck story where the wife drugs her husband to screw her bull and then finds out she killed him and goes to jail for life.

Why would the mc ask for leniency, made the whole thing a nonsense.

The end with him meeting Bob with a baseball bat, AFTER he gets out of prison wasn't really necessary, imo. Bob's probably already gonna be pretty fucked up. Also, PhoenixLore1981, go back to school so you can find out what a period is, of the punctuation kind. Hell, learn what punctuation is at all. I'm seriously glad you haven't written any stories, based on your comment.

Well this was supposed to have a realistic view to it but the very thing that was really supposed to do it was the very thing that made it bullshit and that was the fact that they were charged with something other than attempted murder and when Said if they didn't take the ple it would be attempted murder of the 2nd degree stating that alone is bullshit cause attempted murder is a first degree felony not 2nd nothing about that charge can be 2nd degree 2 you Said they offered a ple cause he didn't want revenge that's bullshit as well do the fact the state was picking up those charges Rather the husband pressed charges or not also when it comes to certain charges especially attempted murder there is no ple bargain to be made the da will try to convict to the fullest extent of the law next time I suggest you not write a fantasy story that was clearly meant to have realistic views In it cause its clear you have no clue what the word realistic even means I also suggest you not write about laws and something that is against the law when you clearly have no idea what you are talking about if you must write about it then do your damn research and studies before writing about it that way you don't look like a complete idiot like you do atm

5 stars

I dont drink bottled water. Only tapped.

You'd have to poison an entire neighborhood to get to me.

I think the previous anonymous comment was a little off, I don't think vindictive is the right word. Some of you may come up with a better one. In this case, I would choose "evil". Evil heart, evil mind, all driven from selfishness and narcissism. In this case both by this stupid so-called wife and the scumbag coworker.

Most men do not realize how vindictive women can be, if you are standing in the way of them achieving a goal. And today’s women don’t really need men, so the bonding over mutual needs isn’t as strong. I feel sorry, for the younger generation- 5 stars.

Very creative. Entertaining.

very,very good entertaining story,so well written that it sounds like this scenario actually happened and that is the best way to write good fiction..you made him man enough to act decisively and promptly to the situation and intelligent enough to know how to take steps to poison himself safely and present a picture of a nieve unsuspecting husband..I really like this tale..5 stars..JZK

Note even close to payback needed. Too wimpy a stoy.

I don't know if you still read comments, radk but I loved this story! Thanks!

[20.05.23] - pt. duex!

I forgot...

'Wojohowitz' seems close to a Barney Miller name.

S?:>}

[20.05.23]

Well written!

11/10!!!!!

Medically, I'm (as a layman) not sure it quite works, but it's a cute payback scenario! However, it would have been another story entirely if the authorities figured out he had faked his own poisoning to falsely incriminate his cheating wife and her loverboy. Hubby might have been the one facing charges, while they were left to cavort!

u ever hear of absorption? have u ever put a hit of acid in ur mouth? murder, hiv, prison, thats some weird priorities. cheating>prison, HIV, murder, u humans hold sex too damn high damn animals. ur stories are extreme i hope ur getting it all out of ya.

It is an idea but implausible. Which man would poisoned himself intentionally to deal with a cheating wife? Then to count it won't end up deadly for him? Really? Toxicology report would have to be explained in the court, it would not go that easy for a criminal conviction as it is in this story.

A lot of writers have ideas that are not rational, this is one of them.

For The Folks

Who really didn't really read the story and think they Were trying to kill him you should think about the meaning of this one paragraph "In the garage I emptied out half of the bottle of water, added a couple extra ingredients, shook well and put it in the cup holder on the center console. I had to stop at the drug store before going to the liquor store. Something I remembered that my grandmother always kept in her medicine cabinet, and threatened us kids with, was called Syrup of Ipecac. I've never dared cross grandma because I knew what Syrup of Ipecac was for. It was ideal for my situation now." What do you suppose those "couple extra ingredients" were? Then if you don't know what Syrup of Ipecac is used for and what it does look it up online. He poisoned himself then used the Ipecac to induce vomiting to set them up. Regardless he still took one hell of a chance, that said the man had balls, big brass ones. After all of that he still has plans for Bob who isn't going to have his for very long when he gets out of the slammer. *****'s Signed: BTW

Was good until you bitched out. I use that term alot on this site now. Not looking good. 3*

He asked for leniency because they weren't out to poison him. He added a "couple ingredients" to his own water in the garage which I assume was the poison and Foxglove. Good story but his revenge actions seemed too scripted since his discovery would have made any kind of thinking impossible. His mind would have been a bit occupied, I would think.

Another female victim of the Martian Slut ray

I read it again. There is an economy of words here that I admire. It isn't terse; it's just right with a flow and a clarity that keeps the reader engaged. Good job!

And you ask for lenient sentences? 2nd degree assault with all those poisons? That's attempted murder, not assault. I suppose you think they were too hard on Ted Bundy.

meh no emotion...no real dialogue...not much...

3 stars

Good story! 5*****! More than the sexual infidelity, this story really brings out the selfish nature of betrayal. I liked it.

Shit not bad for a short one.

3/5, not bad.

4 stars for a OK BTB. It would have been 5 stars is either he didn't do something stupid like ask DA to go easy on her, OR, found himself a good life afterward (as the best revenge).

Still a great story. Still waiting for more.

*5 great

He added the rat poison and foxglove himself

That is a really odd combo for a knock out drug.

Again, like the previous commenter said. This one is great, but a few more pages to flesh it out would be great.

Even though he juiced the sleeping pill water, he should have let them go for attempted murder. That would have been suitable payback. Then forget the whore and the baseball bat revenge.

I liked it until the end. When you lefty out some important details. Did he keep EVERYTHING in their divorce since she had tried to kill him? Or did he have to give her something? Did his wife not tip to his "a little excitement, a little danger" speech? What did their families have to say about this whole messy affair? This needed more details at the end.

I liked it lots! 5*

Prison was good but should have been for attempted murder or if it stays as is, then both culprits should receive a little excitement and danger upon release. Hubby was too much of a wimp.

I think reading carefully will show that the cheaters only put the sleep meds in the bottle. He added the extras to the bottle and then drank the epicac. A great double BTB story.

be careful what you drink when your mate isn't square/. TK U MLJ LV NV

On second look I’ll say this. The story as written says that any of the three chemicals in their doses could cause seizures, so his addition of the poisons may have been OTT but not by much. People forget that even prescribed medication when taken by someone other than whom it was prescribed for can lead to deadly consequences.

Personally I’m wondering what his wife’s reaction to his statement was. It would have been interesting to know, but not necessarily pertinent to the story. Also, what about his in laws, how did they react to their “murdering” daughter?

Well Laurie wouldn't be with Bob unless Bob was hitting on her and telling her that he had a huge cock! Bob got the drugs. He told Laurie how much of the drugs to place in the water. Technically Bob deserves the most punishment. Well Bob is going to get introduce to a Louisville slugger when he gets patrolled! Batter up! Lmao!

Excellent BTB and its all legal.

Society doesn't like dudes hitting women even though they want equal rights. So he's got to take it out on Bob.

Why take it out on Bob on his release, his wife was as much to blame if not more so?

This one could have been in the humor category.😏

If ever there was a need to BTB, a couple years ain't enough for her!

And cuckolded him in his home. But his going to do violence to the guy owed him nothing while letting the woman who promised to love honor and cherish him walk away. Pretty fucked up thinking.

The commenter below that obviously didn't read the story before getting his manufactured outrage face on.

They could have killed him with that poison and he wants to be lenient? What a load of bullshit. And they would have killed him just so they could have sex? In the real world given those circumstances the book would have been thrown. 20 years for premeditated attempted murder, conspiracy to commit murder, aggravated assault and a host of other drug charges. They might have gotten life and they would have deserved it.

A fun one, for sure! Five stars.

It's a real Bitch when one gets caught in the tangled Web they wove for another .

THEY WERE GOING TO FUCK IN HIS BED, RIGHT NEXT TO HIM... SO WHY THE FUCK DID HE LET THEM OFF THE HOOK? < Anon if you read the Same story. the husband Doctored the Water on the way to get More Beer and Drank Ipecac. So in the End they both got what they Deserved No 50/50 or Support just a Stay at the State's Expense. and Embarrassed.

Great idea for a story and what a revenge.

A five star flash tale.

We already know HE added the rat poison and foxglove (his own "couple of ingredients") which means Bob and "loving wife" only did the sleeping pills...

Now the problem arises in that the doctor said (in regards to the additions), "All three were in high enough doses to have caused your seizure..." And not only did his wife and Bob add the drugs to ONE bottle, but to MORE than one. He could easily have OD'd on just the sleeping pills.

The doctor's finish to that sentence - "...and if you hadn't been brought here when you were then you would probably have died within a few minutes.", COULD have just been referring to after taking ALL three ingredients in their doses... That's comforting - your wife only risked a seizure for you, maybe not your life at that point...

But add to that, for me, wife was lead to believe he'd already drank ONE full spiked bottle and had with him a second... and she didn't do everything she could to have him NOT drive...? Her little "drug hubby so I can fuck you next to him" could easily have become "drug hubby so I can fuck you next to him in his hospital bed or on his grave or after the funerals of anybody he might have killed when he finally passed out while driving..."

Sounds like "Depraved Indifference to Life" to me...

Defined legally, "To constitute depraved indifference, the defendant's conduct must be 'so wanton, so deficient in a moral sense of concern, so lacking in regard for the life or lives of others, and so blameworthy as to warrant the same criminal liability as that which the law imposes upon a person who intentionally causes a crime. Depraved Indifference focuses on the risk created by the defendant's conduct, not the injuries actually resulting. "

Even if HE hadn't added to the mix, and even if he had no medical risk from being drugged, and even if drugging someone else wasn't against the law, SHE chanced murder charges JUST by letting him drive.

The last line is worth 5 stars alone, although I gave the entire story 5*.

I just realized that I have Strichnine in my own garage! Pesky rats!

One other thing though. "...attempted murder, and you can't get any more serious than that!" How about actual murder?

Upon re-reading, (as I am wont to do, now and then. I can never seem to remember what stories I have and haven't read!), I see that you are right! HE added the extra 'ingredients' himself, in the garage! That's what I get for commenting before fully digesting the facts!

It begs the question though, what was HE doing with Strichnine in his garage?

It's not even about frying the bitch. They committed attempted murder even if they were to stupid to do what they wanted properly. That kind of person, who has no qualms about dosing someone with drugs and nearly killed someone should be locked up for the crime they did. Leniency is just asking for her to do that to someone else.

in the old days no one sold it, now it is a commodity. TK U MLJ LV NV

They did not put all the poisons in the water.

They put something in to make him pass out.

He put the poisons in after they gave it to him so that he could frame them for an even more serious crime.

Push it from minor felony or misdemeanor to major felony.

He did this to game the divorce system.

They premeditatedly tried to MURDER him! Strychnine and Foxglove are not sleeping agents, the are straight-up poison! It must have given him brain damage, because only a retard would ask for leniency for 2 people that literally tried to murder him!

The perpetrators, or cheating assholes, call them what you may, got what they deserved. I guess the leniency was asked for because our disrespected husband set everything in motion. However, there could have been a bad chemical reaction and they did attempt to poison him so that deserved the time in prison. Stupid fucking cheaters.

Why the fuck would you ask for leniency? Maximum sentence please. Fry the fucking bitch.

Just fyi but sleeping pills can be very very dangerous. People are alergic to them as well as possible overdose. Also as was stated he bought it from somebody. Rohypnoll can in very small quantities be a date rape drug or just one to two mg over can be lethal. So he may have gilded the lily a bit but still he was right to get back at both of them. Then again as said rhis is fiction. At the least the er would have sent his stomach contents to pathology for determination of what was in there on the off chance that they may have to administer medication or antitoxin.

For all that was a great story

Peace

it was just his wife that was looking at him funny.

the only thing is. why was everyone staring at him after his wife gave him the bottle. was everyone in on it. or was it something else.

OMG fantastic!!!!! Superb revenge story!

Saying that the "sleeping pills" were "harmless" is either a mistake or a deliberate lie.

Every sleeping pill that is of real effectiveness has clear warnings to not operate a motor vehicle after taking them.

That the two of them allowed him to drive away after dosing him without his awareness shows a callous disregard for his safety and the safety of any other on the road at the time.

On top of that there is the point that this was not described in the story as a "sleeping pill" but was more likely some sort of date rape drug.

The boyfriend bought whatever it was under the table, and neither he or the wife actually knew what it was or how the husband would react to it.

People that condone poisoning/drugging a husband just so that the wife can get a little strange cock really have no moral high ground to complain about anything the husband does.

Here is my comment now, radk. Hell of a story, it worked out just perfectly. Too bad he didn't get some money out of the deal, too. A great way to get rid of a cheating wife.

Extemporaneous plans 'gang aft agley!' This plan depends on the contents of the stomach pumping promptly being tossed. But the police would probably have informed the ER that deliberate poisoning was under consideration. It would not take much residual tummy liquid to determine that the rat poison and foxglove were absent, but that syrup of ipecac WAS present. Then they go to the pharmacies in the area and see the video of Hubby buying that! They also search the couple's premises and find the rat poison and foxglove. Thus, it could have been Sweetie (maybe with BF assistance) or Hubby. But, only Hubby's fingerprints are likely to be on the sack or bottle. Busted!

Liked it anyway!

that and a lucky snoop filled to the brim, TK U MLJ LV NV

but I am afraid that reality does not permit the innocent to prevail.

it is way too convenient to have the victim discover the means and method of his own demise. And, just happen to be at the door to overhear the conspirators plotting.

Miraculously he is able to discern the odd flavours in his water, thereby saving his own life and pointing to the guilty parties.

oh myyyy

They got it just the way they should have -

Maybe she will learn to value vanilla - in all it's glory rofl

At least she should learn to discuss trying strawberry or chocolate with hubby next time if there is a next hubby

This was a very fun read that I give five stars. Could have been developed into something more extensive.

First, to address some other comments, there is no such thing as a harmless sleep agent. There is no telling how such a drug could affect any given person.

That being said, he upped the ante by doctoring the mixture to make it more deadly. Without that, attempted murder would have never been considered, so perhaps the revenge was just a bit over the top.

What required the poetic license was ignoring the fact that in a real situation, the contents of his stomach would have been tested and found to not contain anything from the bottle. This would have shown the police that the situation was a bit more complex and he probably would have ended up with no revenge at all.

What webs we weave. Great short enjoyable and fun.

The police scientist thought it was a potentially lethal combination....not as you mistakenly called, harmless sleeping pills. I'm a little surprised to see you're still on your first husband. I guess he's serving his time in hell here on earth,

years in prison sounds about right for mere bald adultery enabled by harmless sleeping pills, doesn't it? He couldn't set things up so the social disgrace endured by the conspirators at that cookout served? Or so they ended up similarly spewing, but into each other's faces or private parts? I grant, brazen and remorseless infidelity -- as in this case -- deserves to be punished, but as betrayal (and clownish depravity), not by people being framed to be punished by criminal law. Sorry, I respect criminal law as essential for restraining criminals, and don't like to see it misused by resentful betrayed husbands! He played games with it. He should have played games with THEM (his bitch-wife and her lover) . Me, I'd hand that couple their asses. Lace their food for a lifetime with syrup of ipecac, at the very least. Or arrange things so they wonder why they never seem to feel fully awake. Not that hard. This is fiction, after all!

both the same but O the taste. TK U MLJ LV NV

B E T T E R......bill

I liked reading it. Hope you will do more like this one.

So he could get justice on the cheating whore and her asshole lover. Should have more time in prison though. Oh well.

2nd time I read this one and really really enjoyed it both times.

This was a GREAT story the first time it just gets better every time i read it[10 now}

you did good!

Anyone who can work syrup of ipecac into a Loving Wives story deserves five stars.

Even if you spend a little time in the hospital. I assume he got everything in the divorce since the wife did have a felony conviction and was in jail. And why waste time on Bob? He got divorced and lost everything. Why risk going to jail just to send him to the hospital? Enjoy your life and move on.

5 stars no question.

Greatness

A neat little short story. Cheating wife and a bit of well thought out revenge. Keep them coming

Her and her lover poison the husband so they could fuck in front of him. They should both die in prison.

HA

Karan9876 said it best. Please write a chapter 2.

5 stars. Good story.

Excellent. Gave it a 5 star rating. Chapter 2 is a must. So much potential for it, wife's version when she realises husband set her up. He can then have a confrontation with her when she is released. He pretends to forgive her but screws her more and gets even in the right way. So many possibilities. Think about it. Do write a chapter 2.

It would have been better if she would have realized, because of what he said, that he's the one who did it. So much fun.

I really would have liked a chapter 2 though. Would have been interesting what happens when he tells his wife that he knew and set them up.

A well thought out tightly written revenge story.

Smooth flowing and quick paced.

Thanks for the good read.

Great story

Loved the story. Gave it a 5 star rating. I just wish he was more severe with her. Maybe there can be a part two in which she comes out of jail and he gets a bigger revenge... that would be nice.