All Comments on 'What Evelyn Wanted'

NO GOOD PIECE of SHIT

Enjoyed it a great deal! Fun to read and umm a bit ancy after completing it! WDWD

This is one of the hottest stories I've read in a long time. Ignore the other jackass who thinks rape is sick, but can't help but to read every story about it.

To Smartssexy, an excellent story and thank you for the many dreams it will inspire... keep up the good work.

To the anonymous piece of shit, who felt the need to talk down on this story; the self righteous chest-thumper, who doesn't have enough guts to put his/her identity with their opinion, why don't you go suck a big blistered donkey cock and take a flying fuck at a rolling donut, you puffed up smidgeon of blowfish shit?

Gutless motherfuckers like you are the worst kind of troll.. so easy to to talk shit on someone else's hard work, whilst hiding behind a veil of anonymity.

You probably dream of someone treating you like the subject of this story, but you probably have the face of festered pimple and a mouth that looks like a hemorrhoidally protruded asshole.

Go somewhere else and jackoff to your animal-porn, you worthless fuck.

... and I say that with all due respect.

Again, smartissexy, great story... and don't let shitbricks like this fuckhead keep you from inspiring us all.

I like it just that your tenses were a bit mixed up.

Pretty good writing but you should find one tense and one perspective and stick to them. It'll improve the readability and pacing of your story. As a stroke story, it's fine but as fiction it's thin. The plot should create scenes through which the characters move as the story unfolds. Delve into their hearts and minds and show us why they do what they do.

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Keep writing and good luck.

Hope you write more

And I hope you write more!

Just wished it was longer. Nice first effort!

Build your characters. Evelyn is interesting, but Eric is cardboard. Read Culture_Shock by Sir_Nathan...that's how you build a character. Evelyn has real potential; don't let her juast be a shadow. And get an editor...constant viewpoint, constant use of tenses. Develop the craft of writing. You've got the basic materials, now start building.

Your insight is so profound. I loved it. Thank you for sharing.