All Comments on 'What She Knows'

Wow, this sucks in so many ways I don't have the patience to list them all - this stream of consciousness crap works fine for 'art' books and films, but this site is for entertainment, not your boring inner workings. No stars, uh-uh, not ever...

Utter crap. You, sir or madam, are one of there moronic writers that think that role playing and sex with a partner or spouse = incest. Fool......

having been the victim of incest and having lived with putting myself back together after I realized I was the victim of incest, I think you captured the complexity, anger, anxiety and pain that people struggle with everyday...beautifully written. I'm so glad Neil found someone who could accept him and I hope Katy does as well.

A not so good story ending with COMPLETEY idiotic vanilla value system of "your're worthy of my baby"?

really?

I liked the way you kept the tension building for each character. I would have ended it differently but I gave it a 5.

This was well-written, well-plotted, well-paced. It's not wank fodder--and I'm guessing that's what your "brave" anonymous commenters are all in a tizy about. Additionally, I was so glad to see some originality in this category. The way the role-playing becomes real--and the way you reveal that--seriously, well done!

I hope the ignorant comments don't disturb you or deter you. That would be a real shame. Instead, take them for what they are worth--mouse droppings.

...this is not wank fodder. I recognized that in those comments. I've learned to just make it a rule not to respond to Anonymous commenters, for one. But also, I can tell quite clearly that this was not their kind of story. I can tell by how they misinterpretted the whole thing. Like the "role play does not = incest" thing, the opposite of which was clearly established in the first scene (when Zoe incorrectly assumes they are the same). All I hear is blah blah. What I'm more concerned with is whether I succeeded in telling an interesting, honest and original story, not whether every single person was able to get off on reading it. Everyone's taste is different, but it's not on me if you walk into my Christmas store, angry that we don't have Jack-o-lanterns.

but with an awful ending,hope there's more chapters to come,it really needs it

I hated the ending!!!

Excellent story, well written, very hot !

Liked the story, had to re-read one section as I became slightly confused with the two lovers but nothing major. Overall enjoyed the story. Then again I enjoy stories more when there is a healthy mixture of love and erotica. Forever a romantc.

the ending was surprising. Thought it was going to have the three living together.

I liked the ending I felt bad for Zoe. She's cool as shit always down to try new shit in the bedroom for Neil but he always made her feel like she wasn't enough for him plus her catching him with Katy basically confirmed it. Katy was a sneaky bitch & I don't like her. They way she made Neil feel bad for breaking it off because her pathetic ass couldn't get a man of her own. Asking Zoe if they role play pretending to be her when she already knew the answer. She's a sneaky bitch conniving too. I'm glad Neil left her alone cause she's only going to cause problems especially since he loves her but isn't in love with her. She'll do something crazy outta jealousy.

Wow! Even with the editing problems, this was really good. There were so many twists that it was hard to know what was going to happen. After the whole thing with Zoe and Katy, I too thought there was at least going to be a threesome, if not an outright relationship among them all. I also was wondering if we were going to find out at the end that the camera was still on and Katy saw and heard Neil and Zoe. I have to admit, it woulkd have been a hell of a twist and definitely would have fit into the story. Anyway, I'd like to read it again once you've cleaned it up. Really good. I think it would make a good movie, but the incest theme might be too much for most viewers.

I really appreciate the feedback, y'all. I'm happy to see that so many people liked it. All but the first five pages (of 45) were written in one 8-hour sitting, so I really didn't know what to expect.

@Bambi, I love your comment so much: "Zoe is cool as shit." So good. I like Zoe too. I wasn't as harsh a critic of Katy, though, while writing it. Of course, if I was, she wouldn't be believable. I'm glad you liked the ending.

@quietman: Yeah, seems a lot of people wanted to see the threesome. If there is a part two (and I'm starting to put together an outline for one), you may get your wish. For me, it ended this way because it was always a love story about Neil and Zoe. It's their story, really. Also, all the incest stories here seem to end the same way, and I wanted to try something different. That, and I just didn't have time to write anymore. Cross your fingers, there may be more to come. :)

Honestly, I read this one as a regular short story focused on relationships and sex instead of erotica. I just felt such pain for everyone involved that I honestly wasn't expecting or looking for when I came to this website. Though I decided to put those plans to rest because while the story didn't turn me on I really did want to see what happens to the characters and where the plot goes, how the story will resolve itself. Hell, with some work with a professional I would go as far as to say that this could be a great seed for a movie a la The Dreamers.

I guess I just don't understand it. Is Neil really the jerk he seems to be? And does he really need two needy women in his life? I'm perfectly fine with the fact that "this is not wanking material;" it doesn't have to be in order to be erotic. I think the best scene was up in the mountain spring (but warm-water spring in the mountains?); very tender. And while I'm glad for Zoe at the end, I'm worried about the sister; what's she supposed to do? (I have a very dark imagination but I don't want to go there.)

which convincingly explores the complex emotions of relationships I know nothing about, not least because I don't have a sister. Fine writing, but tainted by silly misuse and mis-spellings of words. EmbarrEsed; went/gone; lead/led; where/were... and for fuck's sake: TOUNGE. And a few more...

I wanted to give it five, but I reserve that for perfectly-written stories. So it gets four from me. When you learn to use language better, you'll earn five from me.

Don't rush to meet silly deadlines. Your writing deserves better. You can certainly write. Just learn to write perfectly - and that takes time, and a good editor; nobody in the world can edit their own stories.

Then you'll truly be a star in the Lit galaxy. Much better than rushing things to win silly competitions.

Do keep writing. You learn with everything you post. I know I do.

nice read I really liked it but I also felt really depressed about how Katy is alone and the story lacked closure to have this be a one off so please continue I would love to see if they could have a threesome as Katy really likes both of them

Nice story BUT...as others have alluded, there is no closure with Katy and no real in depth explanation for Zoe's insecurities. I feel as if the ending was rushed to conclusion without real closure. Good read though.

that was incredibly good. holy shit.

Great story I like your style and the way the story built . . I thought the end would have different but still a good read nontheless

Was a good story. I do agree that the end seemed a bit rushed tho.

There are still a lot of loose ends and questions; and many paths the story could go to after this. Quite a bit of options for another chapter, which could boost this one even more. - Still great work tho, don't get me wrong. And in an 8 hour stretch, that's pretty impressive in its self.

Overlooking the little grammatical errors that take me out when a story isn't this good, I loved it!

A few grammatical errors here and there, but its awesome!

Would surely like to see what happens further between the three people. The feelings are frighteningly real and too good.

5 stars! Keep up tye good work.

Cheers

R.R.C.

This was a good story, but felt incomplete. According to your note at the beginning of "Join The Club" back in Oct. 2013, Ch. 2 of this story would be ready for that winter's contest. Unless it was posted under a different title and I'm not realizing it, what happened to the promised Ch. 2? It's been two years now and you've posted other stories since then, so it's not like you dropped out of Lit before it could have been posted, as I've seen happen with other authors who left stories incomplete.

This is really good, very well written!

It was an interesting story, but it could've been a lot more, it's been a long time since it was posted so I guess ch.2 is out the question

4*