by StangStar06
Just think, somewhere there is a house with a strange triangular corner in the finished basement. And inside that corner is.....? Brrrrr....gives me the chills!
Great Halloween follow-ups to Mikothebaby's stories!
and i dont know about the 'ending'. as for Butch. poor guy, it just his nature, and seems to really love his 'Dad'. and what about his werewolf ex-gf? seems like alot of avenues to explore.
Kinda creepy, kinda wimpy, kinda contrived. Of course I liked the first ending the best, that was a five star ending!
No matter which path you chose it fucked up.....good Halloween story
It burns.
That's what happened when I read
"Welcome to death, by Mustang, Janice.
Thanks....I think....but it still is burning
Are never as good as the original source movie or story. This was an exception. Last week I admit it I posted a comment on the first story and I thought that it wasn't a finished story and it wasn't fleshed out. But adding any one of these parts to it makes what really was a cute idea a very good Halloween story. I liked ending one best, ending 2 twisted or morphed something really funny into something almost scary. Ending 3 was tragic. U da man stang. I take back my previous comment about this tale. I think if your ending had been included this would have fared better in the contest
Which ending I liked best. My favorite line was "I fuck dead people" with maybe the ghost busters line 2nd. Great job
ss06 you are amazing! Love your talent. THANK YOU
Sorry, one star. Too weird. For a fleeting moment I thought you were writing a tale of a husband with balls.
sorry I think I rather read about a wimp who drives a 1974 candy red 4 cyl mustang pony owned by his sister. Lov your writing but this is Childs play and any way u look at it adolescent in this loving wives category. Great fun but not what I would expect here. However 5 stars for posting and backing up milk
the endings do not make the story, only adds closure to the text. TK U MLJ LV NV
I came to the conclusion that I liked all three endings, because they all were appropriate for the body of the story.
But then I had an idea for another ending, and that would be.
On Halloween night of Butch's 18 birthday, Pete came home and found Butch fucking Ashleigh. She was urging Butch to make her pregnant, and in a total orgasm. When Pete saw Butch's outrageously large cock, he knew that no human would ever satisfy Ashleigh again.
After that night, every Halloween night from then on, Butch would impregnate Ashleigh.
Ashleigh didn't age a day but,Pete eventually died of old age, leaving a wife that looked only 25 years old, and 30 evil children.
After all, it's Halloween. Thanks for the read.
I mean come on get an editor already.
; ))
it took to read. 1 star is too much for this (?), what ever it was suppose to be.
Seriously, your the end, then again and then again, sucked. Do one ending and stick with it. This story sucked, should of let Mikothebaby's story alone.
Stang, you have entertained me greatly on many occasions. I have read everything you've written and never failed to give any of your stories less than four stars. This was not one of those times.
Mikothebaby's story was bad enough. I hate like Hell to be critical of her effort, but it's just my honest opinion. Then you come along and waste your considerable talent trying to resurrect a corpse. Three times no less.
In short, as the old saying goes, you can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig. The original should have been left to die a merciful death. I gave it one star grudgingly, only because there was no option to give it negative stars.
quite apt if you think about it. Miko gets a pass because it was her first effort at trying to execute a cohesive story out of a good concept . Slirpuff grew markedly from his first few submissions & so can she if requisite effort is paid.
Stang has immunity too, the term you can't make chickensalad out of chicken sh__ is not entirely out of place here . There were patches of great humor but in the end analysis one could sense he wasn't committed wholly to characters not of his making.
In both halves of this collaboration there were excellent ingredients in the stew & yet the story never gelled as a credible whole . ' A Brillant Mistake' perhaps, to filch Elvis Costello songtitle.
It must be said just the fact I finished both installments of story marks the quality as being above the median of usual submission. I thank both authors for effort expended & look forward to their future efforts.
You destroyed her story. It's like you didn't care, it was a joke to you. The characters deseved much better. Ashleigh is a victim too. Pete was not a bastard. Totally wrong. You should be ashamed for dissing her story. Kate you finish it!
and the award for most anaemic effort by an author who apparently enjoys holding his readers in contempt (or some form of benign disrespect)...
Not your best but I thought it was pretty good. I liked ending 1) the best. Very dark. Thanks. Jim
THAT THIS IS THE WORSTERSTEST COLLECTION OF WORDS AND PUNCTUATION POINTS IT HAS EVER BEEN MY DISPLEASURE TO PARTAKE OF. YES THE ORIGINAL WAS A VACUUM (SUCK) AND THIS WAS THE OTHER SIDE(BLOW). I DO GET THE ATTEMPT AT SATIRE BUT MAY I SUGGEST FLIMSY. TAKE THESE TWO BACK TO THE SKUNK WORKS FOR A REWORK.
Or identify yourself Anonymous.. Worst collection of Words. You obviously did not Proof Read Your Own.
A bit over the top and cliched but not the worst story by SS06
The different endings were very entertaining, a very good read, I'm into darkness.
Not quite the usual SS06 fare but I had a few laughs and did enjoy.
But it's pretty ... funny in a quirky way. It feels a bit too fast and incomplete. I'd hate to be the person to open the tomb that Butch is stuck in. I hope that's never opened, haha. Can a ghoul be killed?? (I guess you didn't kill it cos 'he' is a boy and there's some kinda no-no about violence towards minors, even if they're not real and not (fully) human either.
I decided to read this because you have stopped feeding your followers with new material. This was way out there and I know that it was to help mikothebaby. Her story was a stretch but it was good. You went completely out of your writing style and did something to help a friend...admirable. I will rate this high because I like both of you and want you to keep writing. Please don't go here again...it was just wierd coming from you.
The Babe was scratched from the line up on this one. The first ending would have rated a one base hit but the other two were just out there and rated three called strikes each. Writing and style were good so still gets a 5 from me with a hope that he never goes here again.
That's some way out there wacked out stuff that simply killed the story for me. The writings good just don't like the plot, too freakin weird, seems like something someone trippin on acid would think up.
STOP WRITING ALTERNATIVE ENDINGS! The first ending was perfect, the rest made me wish I had eye cancer! The last ending was the worst shit I've ever had the misfortune to read!
I tried to find the original story bit it does not seem to exist here....
Not that they weren't fitting of Halloween; cause they were.
As I stated in my comments about MIKO's original; her story was nothing more than a "manifestation of a dream", nothing was real. It reminded me of the "recorded Sex sequence" in the movie BRAINSTORM. There isn't one person on this planet who hasn't had sexual fantasies about someone that they're NOT in a monogamous relationship with. It was nothing more than a "figment of their imaginations" so it wasn't really Cheating.
If Werewolf Lady had instead been a GHOST it would've made more sense. Pete had seen "the ghost" now he was able to see others "as in 6th Sense". If she had died in the Dog Attack with unresolved issues "not getting what she wanted - closure with Pete", then they could have completed it and released her to the spiritual world. Thus helping Pete to understand Ashleigh's situation
DKP
I did not like it at all, none of the endings, the story, none of it. But I did not rate it because I did not want to give you a bad rating possibly because I did not understand it.
The tale had your usual style. It was funny and well thought out 5 *****
Good and funny story...but it's in the wrong category...This is sci/fic or fantastic...4* for that categories...
Unfortunate that Pete took one final act of pity on Butch, before he mortared the ghoul into the chamber.
And that was too give him a computer and internet access. Explaining a lot of the troll commentators on this site. Over the years the imprisoned ghoul has used many aliases.
dumbcluck, dunnaknownotin, hairyvirgin, bedbelowbutch, monkeycum, canbuymyass, analmousie and so on.
Continuity error: “On the way there he saw lots of ghosts and witches and goblins walking the streets carrying bags for people to put candy into.” – I thought she brought conjured Howie around midnight, how are the kids out?
I saw SS06 driving a 1986 Toyota Carolla for Halloween. Different but, good;-0.
There had to be something in there for everyone.
Man, that was one weird trip. I liked the first one best. He should just "ghost" her and drive on.
that got goofy quick. Nice little Poe reference but the rest was just goofy.
It was weird. I have been trying to find the original story. Help please
cowboyridecc@yahoo.com. aka. Ron
But at least he wasn't invisible and they didn't name him Casper. Signed: BTW
I don't say this with any malice... Or any bad feelings... But i can't for the life of me figure out why you are held in such high esteem here... Your stories... While not terrible... Are really nothing special... Your writing is somewhat basic... And rudimentary... There are some writers here that are truly in a class of their own... Their works would stand out in any company... I just can't understand why so many people here try to put you in that class... You've got a gimmick... That grabs some people... Writers like rehnquist... Todd172... Qhml1... Oshaw... And some others... These writers are Phyllis hyman... You're beyonce... Decent enough talent wise but far overrated...
As always... Jmo... oh yeah... This story read like it was written by a middle school student...
-jaye-
I've read this story before. An interesting, original story with with excellent Poe references. I don't know why it took me so long to vote.
In pace requiescat!
Thank you, 5*s
..... if he was turning in #2 ending, Instead of burning, Fang The Bitch !!!!!
Again. I like the first one best. It ended with a bang. The second one was just too beastly for my taste. The third one just proves that nothing good ever comes from a dead bedroom.
Okay story, but you failed astronomy.
The full moon rises at sunset, not in the middle of the night.
I didn't get past the first few lines. Don't tell me to go searching for the first story. Provide a link, or least a URL. I moved on to a more considerate writer.
I could not get passed page 2. Silly endings.
Every spouse of a widow knows he is competing with a ghost. The widow will either idealize the dead or hate him. So, yes, it was cheating but hating it because the whole 10 years were a lie, is stupid.
Geeze again i read the comments n have to wonder what these people exoect from FICTION its from someones imagination. I think u guys did n admirable job i for 1 enjoyed it all.
I nodded off a few times so I lost count. Was that three or four piece of shit stories?
Amazing ending. And this is someone who (a) hates Halloween and generally paranormal stories and (b) hates reconciliation. But this is just so interesting and unusual.