All Comments on 'When I Get Home'

I did something with this story that I rarely do; I read the story, then read the comments, then re-read the story. I enjoyed the story even more in the second reading.

When the wife in the story deliberately sacrificed herself to save her husband, it TRUMPED ALL other mistakes and insults inflicted on her husband to that point. The idea of “no greater love” is just that, a standard that cannot be exceeded by any mere expectation.

The wife is not perfect in this story. She commits adultery and she lies about knowing a man with whom she cheated. Nevertheless, she also fawns over her husband after his shooting and expresses remorse through all of her actions with her husband subsequently. Forgiveness by her husband seemed natural and just in this story, not foreign or contrived.

One final observation: the opening scene is one of the best I have read. Many thanks for another good tale.

Another winner by HDK.

Next time she'll get him killed for sure, and there will be a next time. Why? Because nobody respects a wimp (and an idiot) especially a cheating slut wife. HDK once again emasculates his main character in his usual indomitable style. Another well written "whorror" story, with a very unsettling ending.

Money to be used for a new computer with more memory so he doesn't have to squash his endings so abruptly. And he's getting older. Plus an editor would have raised several flags.

Oh hell, who in Penn. could think of everything by himself in all this snow. Then, I blame "The Bullet" who was appointed Penn. Editor Emeritus! Lets see - nope can't think of anything else.

Except - this Author amuses and entertains to such a degree that he needs to know all you picky bastids only make all these comments because you like him. Right!?!?!

Smile Author - you are appreciated for your portfolio which is without much compare.

With Very High Regard

Risq, Kolkore and others have pointed out the character flaws. What I take issue with is that his suspicions were raised by her memory of the company picnic.

"Now how the hell could Karen remember that picnic so well? She even remembered who was there and who we spoke to, and who we didn't."

Unless that company has frequent picnics, it should not be surprising for her to remember many of the details from a picnic the year before. It is an activity sufficiently unusual, not least by seeing co-workers in a recreational environment, that it is plausible that it would stick in the mind for at least a year. I could easily recall many of the events of departmental picnics a year later.

Alcohol gets blamed for a lot of human failings. Adultery is a cheaters choice. To much to drink is not an acceptable excuse. She is a cheating slut. He is a gutless wimp. Happy trails until the next time she gets drunk.

it's not that the cheating wife's feeling guilty, yet not able or willing to confess,,, what I think most idiotic is when the husband starting LYING FOR HER!,,, it's not enough that she fucked ("I was drunk and he took advantage of me, 'tis all, honey. I would never do it in a sober state, you know me well enough, dear beloved husband!") and lied about it (she, by the way, was also willing to run away with the rapist/potential killer:

""""Ralph, I'll go with you if we leave right now, okay? There's no reason to wait for Kurt. We can be long gone before he even misses me," reasoned Karen.""" My god!, look what this loving, wise, trustworthy, wife and mother's WILLING to do FOR her husband, whom her fucking lover wants a bullet through the brains!!! My god!!!, what a SELFLESS, sacrificing woman/mother!!!

,,,,,,,,, what I think most idiotic is the husband, after having heard she's willing to run away with that man, immediately started LYING to the police,

"Mr. Detective, you must know, my wife here knows nothing about that man! She's here with my family, trying to protect us from this psychopath here, who's been seducing women left and right,,, you should give my loving wife here a medal for bravery,,, she's willing to put her life on the line for me, you know! My god, honey, I love you so much, for your willingness to run away with that psychopath, IF by your belief/reasoning doing that would save me from being killed by him,,, My God, you are just so incredible, honey, and I love you so much. You have been suspected and interrogated enough, by my suspicious mind, and now by the police,,, but it must stop right now,,, I can't stand you being so tortured by all of us any longer!!!"

what absolute gibberish nonsense!,,, main issue of cheating magically disappeared, replaced by side issues as to why the cheating woman's being tortured/interrrogated and suspected so unfairly??? LOL

Thanks for a great provocative story. I can't add to Risq's summary. I was confused though. She cheated. Therefore did not love the husband. Protected her boyfriend from the police. Met with him at her house. Why in the world would the husband have any positive feelings for her at all? And why would she still be allowed under HIS roof? Why would he even speak with her? She's a cheater-once and forever. Period. Why doesn't matter a bit.

HDK: The love the wife had for her husband was never an issue. In deciding whether or not to apprise her husband and the police of what she knew, she feared two possible outcomes: divorcee or widow. She chose widow. Any subsequent actions on her part cannot ameliorate her decision.

There are some serious holes in this. Though I wouldn't discount the possibility of reconciliation. It would require some counselling (and maybe professional therapy) but it isn't so big a hurdle that it couldn't be overcome.<br><br>

Only problem is the current ending reaches forgiveness too quickly given the issues raised by Harry et al.

<p>I tossed the story around in my head for a while today before I decided that I had to go with a 25%</p>

<p>Harry brought up all the points I thought about when I first read the story. </p>

<p>On one hand, you have a husband and a wife. She loves her husband. She demonstrated that loved by trying to sacrifice her life for her husband when she thought he might die when that guy broke in</p>

<p>I liked that in the story, you did a good job of making me see that and feel that the wife truely loved the husband</p>

<p>But on the the other hand, to me that wasn't enough. For a while I was going to go with a 75% because, even though I didn't feel right about the story, I thought it was written well. But that struck me as more wrong here. Adults don't do things like this. And if the wife really loved the husband, she wouldn't have started him down the road that almost got him killed. Twice.<p>

<p>The wife:</p>

<p>-Cheated on the husband. Sure she had been drinking when she did it, but lets be honest a second. Who, as an adult, has never heard you could possibly get drunk from too much alcohol? Anyone? I don't see that as a valid excuse when it's such a common fact. It's just an excuse not to face up to the things you do wrong once you do them. </p>

<p>-Decided to hide it from the husband. In the story the husband never seemed to comment that the wife acted any different before he was shot, and he went into so much detail about how she was different <i>after</i> he was shot, so her guilt didn't make her want to fix her cheating, just the cheating after he was shot. So I just have to go with she did a good job of hiding this and didn't feel <i><b>that</b</i> guilty about the cheating part of what happened.</p>

<p>-Once the husband was shot, she still never told him the reason why. And she figured it out. The husband commented that she cried whenever she saw the bullet hole, specially when they had sex. She fussed over him to extreme, but never once came out and told him she was the reason, or the fact she had sex with another man, that he was shot.</p>

<p>-Allowed her husband to live in complete fear for a long time, till they dealt with the guy who shot him. She knew why he was shot, but never told him. And till the end he stayed scared of it happening again.</p>

<p>-Due to her trying to keep two <i>major</i> secrets (one where she cheated on him and the second of knowing who and why he was shot) allowed the man to make a <i><b>second</b></i> attempt on the husbands life. She kept all these secrets so she wouldn't have to face the truth till the husband over heard their confessions</p>

<p>To me her single act of bravery doesn't counter balance out the fact she didn't do any of this till she was forced in a coner. That she was willing to let the husband live in fear and possible be killed during a second attempt on his life so she could keep her secret. Where was that bravery <i>before</i> the husband was shot? Where was it immediately <i>after</i> he was shot when the police questioned her, but <i>before</i> the second attempt on her husbands life?</p>

<p>But I have to mention one other thing, beside thowing in one of my pet peeves, forgiveness without the person ever truely asking for or earning it, you also threw in one where the husband gets his revenge by beating up (or in some cases killing) the man who slept with his wife. I can never understand where the husband <b>has</b> to forgive his wife for sleeping around because that makes him more charitable, but he can slap around and/or kill he other man and that man got what he deserved? Why not forgiveness all around??</P>

<P> I did think it was a well written story, just too many problems with the wife for me to call it a good story. Sorry.</p>

-Risq

There is an expression which I’ll translate: “Please god, keep an eye on my beloved; from my enemies I’ll guard myself on my own”. It’s in this spirit and not unlike the comments made by Anon (Titled the comment: This one leaves a lot to talk about) that I see the wife as the second, but not secondary, in the role of causing the mayhem in this plot. <P>

1. Why didn’t she come clean with her cheating? No concern for the physical safety of their sex? Is that a neutral? <P>

2. And what about turning the relations into on going lie, as she keeps holding in the lie, then the guilt which gradually bury the relations anyway? No black points for that one? <P>

3. Her culpability elevates from the domestic discord to what I believe would warrant a criminal negligence, maybe even being a de –facto partner or assisting in hiding a crime (even if with out coordinating it). When she is asked about potential enemies and knows about William interest in her (which she rejected, after the one time liaison) would not it come to mind?

4. If one is willing to grant her the title of the most gullible person in town, than how about the occasion when she is being asked specifically about the nature of her acquaintance with lover boy? Should not she then have said that this could be a connection the police should look into and open the whole story? <P>

5. As long as she chose to be silent, and I am talking about every minute she continues her silence, she in fact chose to continue to protect her ‘good name’ over putting at mortal risk –yet again, her beloved husband. I’ll have to confess it is hard for me to penetrate and imagine the mind set of such a woman. It simply sounds incredibly cruel and inhumane no matter how much she feared for the marriage. Every morning he could have gone out of the door and never come back and she sends him of, knowing that but would not contact the police, a third party, anyone, to protect her husband by disclosing what she knows? <P>

6. Is that love? Is that the extent of her willingness to sacrifice herself? Let’s look for a moment at that noble quality. She is ready to die for him protecting his body, but in truth she is willing for him to die and for her to stay alive as long as her shameful secret does not come out. <P>

7. The husband is sympathetic with the suffering she has already gone through, and counts it as her payment for her sin. How about the ongoing anxiety fear for daily death, fear for death that could befall your family that she inflicted on him? Most of his gun and safety preparations where all for nothing, at least from the moment she knew that the police is looking for her lover boy. So turning their house into a barricade all that does not count against her? <P>

I want to emphasize that even though in all the points above I do believe that she was an equal if not the main culpable character for what befell him I purposely built each argument so that it would fit the perspective of the husband when he was able to judge her from his perspective and with the information that we know by the story that he had. Too many times I read people judging stories for unlikable characters or simply for themes they don’t like. Not so here. Intrinsically to the husband’s character, I can’t see HDK how you could let him take this approach to his wife. Yes she is shook and traumatized. Yes she deserves a compassionate humane handling, until she recuperates. <P>

But she put his life at risk and put him in agony again and again and again on top of her cheating. A classic Loving Ending would have been similar to yours with a big difference, he never gives her any applause for her treatment of him and then after every thing settles he let her go nicely but decisively, explaining that the cheating was the smallest of her betrayal the tip of the iceberg indeed. In fact, I would have called the story the tip of the ice berg –but then again I know it’s not a Beatles song…

I keep reading the story waiting for sex to start but,never did.I wanted to read someone fucking her.

Read the tale elsewhere and liked it. Thanks, HDK, for an enjoyable story.

Leave to to HDK to know the limits of revenge! He doesn't need to push any further, she wouldn't feel any worse. Forgiveness is always possible but NEVER assured. Some will hold the shooting and it's consequences to be paramount, some will accept that nobody knew ahead of time that he was a complete psycho. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, I'm satified with what HDK did because it's his story, and a damn good one!

The last paragraph is the best of whole story... thank you

Harry has raised two very cogent points. Her husband is seriously wounded, conceivably could have been murdered, and the wife says nothing to the police? Is her secret worth more to her than her husband's life? Kudos, Harry. And he is also correct in his perception that her fawning over husband was to assuage her own guilt. In momentarily being so agreeable, I must also concur with Bazzz that the "overheard conversation" device has become trite. HDK, you are among only a handful of folks here who I believe truly deserve the designation "author." Perhaps, because of your established standard of excellence, I'm being unfair in my expectations. I anticipate your next submission.

let me see if I have this right... the wife is guilt ridden about her cheating one time. She does not know HOW to tell her husband. OK thats reasonable enough. Then he gets shot. THEN when the wife is asked by the police who this williams guy is... she says sorry dont know him...??? HDK is trying to BULLSHIT his way though a serious character flaw. How can the Husband/ author claim WIFE has "suffered enough" when she wont even tell her husband she knows WHY he was shot? THAT's GUILT RIDDEN????

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The WIFES' behavior of Fawning and Fussing over recovering Husband proves NOTHING. She is doing that to maker HERSELF feel better.... the husband has no idea why she is carrying on like this so therefore she cant be doing to FOR him.

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******** BIG QUESTION---- if the Husband had not overheard the conversation between the WIFE and the nut case... would she EVER tell him on her own?

Should have shot them both.

another great story!suspense until the end.thank you.

A good start but then you went with the old reliable guy overhearing a conversation between his wife and her lover and getting the whole underlying plot routine. The technique is used in almost everyone of these types of stories. If you could have avoided this you would have had a very interesting story. Also, while the Lit part was pretty good there was no erotica so I am not sure if this story belongs on a website called Literotica but if it is the only forum that can be found I guess you've got to do what you've got to do.

but an interesting plot nevertheless.

Good story and well written. I was wondering what they were going to say when Ralph told the police why he shot Kurt.

She saved him from the shotgun, he saved her from the infamy.

With the way she was acting one had to think something was going on with Ralph. Her actions were of someone guilty about something.

Another great story, guy.

person is crazy their is no excuse for them to commit crimes and to harm people. What needs to be done is to get such individuals out of the free system. Some of them are so crazy they are genius at planning and executing plans to get what they want or need. The wive not only cheated on her husband, she lied to him, deceived him, betrayed him, and disrespected him. She was so drunk she could not say no to a man to seduce and use her? What wife in her right man goes out and gets so drunk she can't say no? Oh yes the interaction of the medicine and alcohol. Ah yes she was to stupid to know not to mix them. Since when does a woman have sex with a man, remember it, and not claim she was an adulterer, let alone telling her husband what happened. If he chose to divorce her that is his standard, he is not the one who betrayed the marriage. No mention was made of testing for STDs and AIDS which would go over several months, did she bother, but she had sex with her husband exposing him without informing him and giving him a choice, informed consent. No living with guilt for having sex and then living with guilt because you caused the husband to be shot is not punishment enough. What is interesting she had the knowledge of who might kill her husband yet did nothing to inform the police or her husband. Wonderful wife he has there. Communication between the would be killer and the wife had to have been going on, she knew to much and he knew to much. OW it takes care of the bleeding susans who want reconciliation at all cost. Myself I would not want to be married to a woman that was that stupid much less so ignorant about medicines, diseases, sex, and murderers. Remember she let herself be put in the position to be used sexually, makes you wonder her intent doesnt it?

nicely written, good enough plot.

I enjoyed this. The wife's transgression was not "over the top" and there room for reconciliation. Hubby handled it well; he showed compassion and maturity. Good story.

Another great story here HDK. What a way for a wife to prove that she does love her husband. As usual you did an excellent job with this unique story. Keep it up!