All Comments on 'When Sorrows Come... Ch. 01'

the people got their own place to make love why at his house. his wife make stupid mistake the hold story.

You did a really good job of bringing out the emotions. You could feel the tension.

Yeah they had some communication problems and yeah they jumped to some conclusions. But a perfect marriage is a pretty dull story!

This story reminded me of hdk's "Eight Days a Week". Her sister had been sleeping with someone in the guest bedroom but he assumed it was her and wound up having to take his wife to the ballet!

Good job!

with giving us the whole story in one go.

Are we too stupid to read it all? I think not.

Do you want a higher score by splitting it? Well, that won't jive with me - I gave you a score of one for being a smart arse.

Post whole stories or don't bother writing - simple as that.

But I also agree 2000% with Deadwould.

Has the site suddenly been renamed "Serialiterotica" and I didn't notice?

I will wait for the end to both comment properly (there are a few things to say!) and vote - I give no score for parts of stories, only for completed work.

You don't want to read serial stories, don't read it. Simple as that. It DOES have a freakin Chapter 1 on the title.

I bet you get burn alot by hot coffee and suprise you got burned.

Unless 2 strangers opted for the excitement of a house where somebody appeared to be home, it's her friends trying to avoid her kids. Why not when they were in school? Why not at a hotel while Barb is sitting? Why did they have to take her car? To set up the plot. That's a terrible reason for them to do that. And then to break the story where there is no suspense because we know what's happening is manipulative as well.

Another husband fails to find out just who is fucking his wife[?]. If he did I'm sure he would find Matt fucking Ann.

Barbara got them started.

So now he'll go off and mess up their lives and she'll be devastated and he'll be depressed.

Gotta check things out so you KNOW what's going on.

Romantic getaway .... at the Arnold's house? What, Ann and her friend are too poor for a Bed and Breakfast? Far fetched and contrived, especially with the white dress. Also, confrontation would have been his first thought, not his last.

I read some of the comments from Ch.2 So I have an idea what's going on, but this was a neat ending. I'm sure it kept the readers guessing. One time affair, a possible mistake, two affairs, diffenately a divorce. Good read as usual.

DG Hear

I have to agree with some of the commenters that there was some unreality to Barbara. Ok we understand given the tension in the marriage (Ted traveling 3 out of 7 days in the new position probably 19-20 years into the marriage) for about 2 years. But in Part 2 we find out that she has been fucking Phil for about 2 years (at least a year before the Christmas Party). When you shared her thoughts it appears as if she had just became intimate with Phil while she was seemingly drunk. She imagines Ted having a fling with a blond during the Christmas Party so she takes up with Phil to get even.

The fact is since she was intimate with Phil prior to the Christmas Party and she had kept her cheating a secret so well over the years would she risk hanging out with him during the party (when drinks flows who knows what Phil might let slip)? Why all of the self-recriminations with Ann about the dress? Why the shock about him leaving her in Part 2 since for all she knew Ted found out about her and Phil or one of her other past lovers? After Ted caught her cheating during the engagement how could she not know what he would do if he found out?

The point is one valid shortcoming of this story was that you seem to be writing to have the readers believe that Barbara was innocent when you share her thoughts and feelings. She is portrayed as the long suffering wrongly accused wife desperately seeking to regain her loving relationship with her husband. If the motivation for the affair with Phil had been the emotional isolation caused by their final rift over his new position then her affair with Phil makes sense. The fact that the thrill of the illicit sex is the reason for her many affairs make her seem deceitful and manipulative right from her engagement to Ted.

Please do not engineer a reconciliation between Ted and Barbara. The happy ending in this story was that Ted found out the truth abut Barbara and you wrote that he had made peace with getting the divorce. She basically cheated on him for 22+ years.

Although I am not a fan of revenge it seems like Ted got the short end of the stick (lost his good job, are his kids' really his children?, he had to move to get away from her). Barbara really lost nothing except the illusion of a loving husband because that relationship was based upon a lie. Ted was a standup guy trying to take care of his family and keep his marriage together. One can argue that if they had gotten counseling early on things might have been different but given Barbara's itch for illicit sex the outcome would have been the same.

Once again an excellent read - Thanks!

SleeplessinMD

At least hubby is consistent, he never tries to find out the full story. Thanks for writing, decent story.

Good story so far.

Implausible, improbable, and contrived. Did Lucille Ball write this?

As I said Non-wimp story's will attract enemies :) Under all kind of literary disguises... Ah well, write on my friend... Cheers Yoron.

This is an exercise in how to leave the readers wondering.

I note that many of the commentators have completely varied visions of what the truth is and almost any of them could be right! Nice place to break and leave everyone wondering.

astory about two retard that had two kids that disappeared and were never mentioned again. so the two retarded just kept fighting.

from unknown degradations, just pull a FERLIN HUSKY OR HANK SNOW.. tk u mlj lv nv

I really can't fathom why these two immature idiots A.) ever got married ? & B.) why they stay together? They don't talk to one another, they scream at each other, they obviously don't trust one another. I don't sense any love, their marriage has been hanging by a thread for the last couple of years but yet neither one put much effort in trying to fix the issues that are plaguing their relationship, neither one is happy so why are they still married? The husband is a coward, that's his house! Why didn't he confront whoever that was in His house , in His den fucking? Why did he run out of His house?! The problem with these two morons is they tend to jump to conclusion without analyzing the facts & obtaining further information, again why are they married? Life's too short to be miserable. They both are always on guard, they've grown so far apart that a simple loving gesture makes them suspicious.

It seems that Barb was hiding something all along. We went through the whole tale before finding this out. What will Ted do? We'll see...

Obviously it's Ann and her new boyfriend screwing away. How else can we have a story.

in this fiasco of a marriage TK U MLJ LV NV

your stories are about the most retarded people to ever exist outside of a 'three's company' episode.

Can't wait to read part two. Thanks.

I hate stupid!

is like a Tsunami. TK U MLJ LV NV

First of all, even a new reader can see that it was Ann, not Barbara, why they needed to use his study baffles me.

Earlier Barbara complained about the lack of a sex life and how lackluster it was before dying out completely, but she never took any ownership for that. Maybe if SHE was more receptive and enthusiastic the sex would have been better

And the bit with the old boyfriend, while quite possibly true, was still a danger sign. An engaged woman does NOT see her old boyfriend alone. If he wants to see her, and "wish her well", he sees her with her fiance.

flowed nicely, and even believable. do you think if there was better communication between hubby and wife, it wouldn't have turned out this way, like, honey, I'm going to set Ann up with her new boyfriend, and giving her that white number to wear.

They're so immature I can't stand it; and Ted is a pathetic wuss. If Barb refused to wear a respectable dress he should have said "fine, then we're not going". If he hadn't abandoned her the moment they arrived none the drama would have occurred. If he found another man in bed with his wife, he should have confronted him. In short, these two are worthless and too stupid to give a shit about. I may read the rest of this if I can't find something better; but I don't think it is likely.

I HATE plots based on that. And I agree with SplitAces. 1*

these assholes who vote 1 are nasty and evil fags. They vote 1 of all LW stories. So I gave it a 5

Clearly, she should have taken her fiancé when she went to see the old bf... want to convince a guy you're over him...? Do it WITH the guy you're over him with...

I fault her letting Phil at her... notice, when SHE thought HE was off fooling around (at the company party) she effectively hooks up with someone yet when HE thinks SHE is the first time he hunts her down and the second time he leaves and goes somewhere by himself.

Whose actions reflect love more...?

But in both cases they should have done what he did in the first place - confront. Then NEITHER reciprocating action would have occurred...

Ok, that would have made for a shorter story but also one where I was more sympathetic to the characters...

Re the Christmas party - I hope we learn why he heard car doorS slam and voiceS in the entryway.

are not evil, they just don't like the story at all. Everyone has there likes and dislikes. But, a 1 often time is well deserved. You sound like a wanna be writer who does not understand that if you write like crap, you will be honestly judged on the crap you wrote.

Obviously, it's the girlfriend and Matt fucking in the bedroom, right? It's just too frustrating and kind of stupid. A bit long-winded sometimes. But in any case, why should we stomache this plot twist: Wife arranges for friend to get fucked in wife's bed just in time for hubby to get home

..?

Still five stars. Still love it.

sure leads to mis-understandings and turmoil. TK U MLJ LV NV

((("Nooooooo, Ted, Please, please, just listen, just listen to me. It's not what you think. Just listen, please Ted." Barbara pleaded.)))

He should have stood up, interrupted her and said, "It's EXACTLY what I think it was. You lied to me and then you betrayed me by going on a date with that guy when you were engaged to marry me. And you're lying to me, right now, by trying to convince me that I didn't hear the excuse you gave me for not being able to be with me that night and then seeing you with him. Barbara, I've seen and heard all I need to know about you're brand of 'honor and 'honesty'. You cheated now and you'll cheat when you're married but it won't be to me. I feel sorry for the poor bastard who ends up being married to you. Good bye." ..... and then get the fuck out of there.

She's whining that they're pulling away from each other.... then, when he tells her to buy a dress for their Christmas party and she stupidly slaps him in the face with fucking insult like THIS??? "Okay, Ted. I just might do that. I can always use a new outfit and I did see a beautiful little white number at the store a few days ago. By the way, will Phil Stine be at the party?"..... THAT is one dumb cunt who ruined what could have been something good and smears the trouble she just caused all over herself and her husband. The world is full of stupid people .... the highest percentage among them are women (Obama and Hillary voters).... and they wonder why they end up alone and lonely. Men get fed up with the small betrayals, (large ones are instant game enders... for MEN, not wimps, like too many on this site) the nagging, the self centered greediness and finally decide they won't put up with that shit anymore.

He should never have married her. Beginning when he caught her with the ex-boyfriend and took away the ring. She told him the same story both times. She'll probably tell him that she lent the house to her friend and her boyfriend. Ted'll buy it and take her back AGAIN. Until the next time. Hmmm, I see a pattern here.

Right?

No offense intended for the author, but this is one of those story types that irritate me so much. A greek tragedy of mistakes and misunderstandings, neither spouse has harmful intent for the other, but they keep trying to get even for imagined slights, insults, and assumed affairs. Any and all of these "misunderstandings" could easily have been avoided if either one of these two idiots had some common sense, backbone, or a real love for each other.

What kind of husband supposedly sees his wife having sex with another man - in his house, only meters away from him - and doesn't have the courage to even turn on a light??? That's just stupid and cowardly. If he'd turned the light on, I think we all know the wife's friend is the one in there, sleeping with her date while Ted's wife is at her house babysitting the kids.

All these misunderstandings will eventually become a self-fulfilling prophecy as they keep trying to "one up" the other. Whatever, these two are simply too stupid to care about any longer...

Has to be XYZ.

You would think with ALL their fucking "misunderstandings" before, he would at least MAKE SURE... but no.... ol dickwad just writes a note and runs.

I know the author felt he needed it for the second part, but for fucks sake, how many of these "mistakes" can you fit in one fucking story!

I just love the setup for this one. Five stars.

Please tell me that this child doesnt write anymore.

that I would let them have sex in my house. Of all the contrivances to create drama in this marriage, that is just beyond stupid.

It was actually the friend and her boyfriend using their bed for some contrived reason and the wife is innocent.

Cliche and ridiculous.

Who in their right mind would let some friends come over to their home just to fuck! Stupid author!

"Oh, I thought you were fucking . . ." But dear, I would never . . ., I just froze and didn't know what to say." "Why didn't you ask . . ., you never said . . ., I just assumed . . ..

Pathetic. Get a real plot, then construct some real adults to enact it. This was middle school children thrashing about pretending to be grown up.

Why did he marry the lying cheater after catching her with her former boyfriend?

Why did he take her back after she went out of her way to hurt him at his office party?

He's being made out to be too stupid to be believable.

1, she cheated before they got married

2, she cheated on him while they were married

3, we all know the couple in bed were Ann and Matt

Do people really let their friends fuck in their bed in real life?

Garbage. The story is manufactured to that extent it is ridiculous.

The blowout of Ted finding Ann and Matt fucking in his house thinking that it is his Barbara makes absolutely no sense.

Where do you find a mature person that would allow their mature friends to fuck in their house? Without notifying her husband about that?

Even with this nonsense I would assume that a writer can allow one "misunderstanding" to happen but you have based the whole story on absurd "misunderstandings" like this that makes the whole story reeks as manufactured (misunderstanding while they were engaged, misunderstanding on a party, misunderstanding about Ann and Matt fucking ...), in the style of the worst soap opera crap. Hey, perhaps you can look for a job on daytime TV as a plot writer.

This garbage of piling "misunderstanding" on "misunderstanding" continues in the Chapter 2, good luck reading this horse manure of a soap opera. But hey at least I now know what this author Blue88 has a knack for. 1-star from me, I just do not like soap operas.

Thats my house...i wouldve at least flipped the light on to chase the mfer out of my house...this wouldve enabled him to find out it was matt and ann. However, why would matt and ann be using his study to do the deed in? Anyways...on to ch 2.

I think I’ll skip chapter two. This story just keeps getting dumber and dumber.

I think that would have confronted the lovers immediately. Things would progress based on what I found. Will wait on further developments to rate.

The writing is decent, but all of these unfortunate coincidences getting out of hand are a shaky foundation to build a story on. It feels like a tv show where the episodes rely on the cliched misunderstanding to carry the plot.

I am married to a woman who gets her thrills out of keeping secrets from me. I have told her time and time again that one of these days her secrets may end our marriage. But she never listens. It has caused me to sleep on the couch or at work. It has caused me to make unscheduled fishing trips. I am not a drinker of alcohol, so, at least, I have not been tempted to drown myself in such beverages. But I have let her wonder where I was and what I was doing. When I did go back home and she demanded to know where I had been, I told her that was my little secret.

But its a crap marriage. Can't see a marriage continue with this amount of disrespect. She keeps on promising him, that it wasn't her fault that she ends up kissing someone else, thats bs. I get that the last bit wasn't her, but serioiusly, she is keeping secrets. Why use their house to get the other couple's freak on, do neither of them have a house, are they both married, if so. her actions are speaking volumes, when excuses are like assholes, everyone has one, and its usually filled with shit.

Ted was not a stupid man.... Really ??! You don't get to be much more stupid than good ol' Ted. He richly deserves to be divorced and living on ramen noodles.

Why on Earth would his boss have been even “just a bit surprised that his marriage still worked” because they were both strong-willed?!THAT’S A HUGE NONSENSE!On the contrary,IT WAS EXTREMELY WELL FOR THEIR MARRIAGE THAT THEY WERE STRONG-WILLED!Such marriages WORK BEST of all marriages!If one spouse is strong-willed,then IT’S BEST THAT THE OTHER SPOUSE IS STRONG-WILLED too,in order to STAND UP TO HIS/HER PARTNER and TO BE IN AN EQUAL RELATION,so that the other partner would not become DICTATORIAL in the couple!Indeed,A COUPLE SHOULDN’T “clash almost constantly”,but THAT DOESN’T MEAN AT ALL that such a couple can not be A HAPPY AND LOVING COUPLE,nevertheless!Constant classes CAN NOT MEAN THE END OF A MARRIAGE!So,HIS BOSS SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN “SURPRISED” AT ALL that a marriage between two strong-willed people worked,but SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS AS A PERFECTLY NORMAL AND EXPECTED THING!It was exactly if one of them would have been weak-willed when THEIR MARRIAGE WOULDN’T HAVE WORKED ANYMORE!Stop writing SUCH BIG CRAP and waisting our time with it!

Barbara obviously has faithfulness problems!!! I would have dumped her after the Christmas party... I'm sure she will say that she loaned her bedroom to her friend???

I don't get it. The woman wants to come to his work Christmas party, dressed in a way that he knows will come back to haunt him. Why accept that? The simple solution is this:

"Honey, you have two options. You either go and change right now, or you are not coming."

End of story. Sure, a fight would most likely ensue, but by doing nothing, he got both the fight and the trouble he knew would come.

Plus, he must have known he was not in control of his feelings and would act as he did: Like a petulant child.

Obvious and really contrived to have her friend fuck her boyfriend for the first time in Barbara's home, seems really weird also, who would actually do that?

I guess the author couldn't think of anything better than cheap soap drama.

Again the author fails at writing actual people.

That was hard to read. Both stubborn idiots and shitty at communication. How they could go on for years like that and then to turn back to a loving couple after she cheated on him was ridiculous. And the ending just showed you how stupid they are. Why have your friend have sex at your house and him jumping to conclusions instead of confronting the was laughable.

This is the guy who punched out the pussy hound at the Christmas party, but turned into a simpering wimp when he caught them later? Really? Come on, OP.

The main characters keep acting schizo. Kind of keeps this from being really good.

My jury is out on this story. Lost opportunities are sad.

Ed

Oh yes,.such revenge. Lol. This author is the epitome of small dick energy

Jesus christ what a God damn soy boy

Running never helps. Except we find out Barbara is a huge slut in the next chapter in a nice twist ending.

1. Why haven't they reached out to a marriage counselor.

2. Barbs dress, then being found well on her way to being fucked--"I was trying to get away from him?

3 Tedd also not seeing his contribution to this mess.

Add in no or Mal communication and this is the perfect stop to collapse the marriage.

This guy is a moron. Stand up and be man. Take a stand with your wife, when she's dancing with the pussy hound, call her on it in a firm non-emotional way, and lay it out for her the next morning. I can't finish it.

Wow zero confrontation. What the heck. Not realistic. At least do a golfclap.

5 stars only because of the twist ending on the next chapter.

What kind of a pussy husband wouldn't confront his wife that he saw screwing her lover!