by mrjones502003
to FUCK IT UP with the SHIT HOLE stuff--------They have a catagory for that .......... dummy
You were on a roll with this one....very passionate, very considerate, the tentativeness of the situation was written very well.
And then it all came crashing down. The tenderness was dashed by the brutal anal assault. Darned few women tolerate, no matter how stimulated, being penetrated anally with no lubrication, no preparation, no mutual agreement.
It's almost as if someone grabbed your story and tossed this part in.
Nice ending, too. You were doing well, but that bit cost you some points.
You started great with the love and tenderness of a good love story. Then rough anal and ruined it. The best story is when the love and compassion comes through.
I really enjoyed the story. You grabbed my attention from the very start. Don't pay attention to the comments about Anal sex. Some of us really enjoy it.
I liked it. Still, the anal stuff was sort of abrupt. The women I've been with who were amenable to anal sex needed some "opening up" first. The only time I tried it without lube it HURT me as well as her.
Maybe you should try an editor.
Really nice story. Didn't like the anal sex part - why do so many people get all obsessed with anal?
Disregarding what some assholes think about anal in a "Fantasy story", yours was a damned good sotry. So don't pay any attention to the idiots that don't like anal. They probably never even tried it!
Thank you for a wonderful story. I am not into anal in my own life, but contrary to what others have posted, I do not think it messes up this story at all.
This way-too-short story is an absolute delight. I found myself cursing when I got to the bottom of the first page and found out I was already over halfway finished. The characters are fleshed-out just enough to make me care about them and empathize with their misgivings, then celebrate their decision to give-in to their yearning.
Like others, I found the anal sex a little abrupt, but decided that her willingness to try something this new showed how much she loved her brother and wanted to please him.
In other stories I have read, too many times I have found it a chore reading through all the typos, bad grammar and confusing word choices, often giving up, but here I found the writing to be delightful, and quickly added mrjones to my favorite-authors list. I look forward to reading more of his stories.
I loved this story. Actually if I just replace the heroine with my cousin the story would be such a turn on for me that I would have my masturbation fantasies forever.
This was a great story. I love the tenderness of the whole story. I know the anal was abrupt, but it didn't matter. It was real nice.
Pretty good, but a bit rushed. Take the time for details more. They are important. Not a fan of Anal, but that’s me!