All Comments on 'When You're Near Me'

A truly beautiful love story!!! One of the best I have read here.

I fully support other's comments about using hair color and age to identify characters, and added to that we didn't need to be told countless times that Makayla was a black lab.

Could have been a little shorter or delved deeper into Jessie and Ashley's fears of commitment. But that said refer to first comment . I really did love it.

I really loved the story and the build up but I had a bit of an issue with the characters being constantly referred to by hair color... That was just a little weird to me but it didn't greatly alter the enjoyment of the romance...

A beautiful story of two damaged souls finding a connection that their walled defences could not mitigate. Very well thought out characters both main and supporting. A pleasure to read and could not put it down. Thanks for the wonderful journey.

Great story really enjoyed reading this well written one of the best stories I have read on here job well done can’t wait to read more from you

Thank you for a delightful journey, notwithstanding the e-x-c-r-u-c-i-a-t-i-n-g-l-y slow and emotionally dramatic buildup, just to that first deep kiss. Even then the lovers were quite patient to wait to consummate their love in the deep waters of their withheld deisres. All the time you kept "love" at the center allowing the rose of passion to unfold in its time and in all its exquisite love-filled glory. Beautiful.

From beginning to ending, this story is one of my all time favorites. Great work.

Thank you so much for sharing,

I liked it was pretty good I gave 4 stars had a nice plot line only thing is the build up was too long for a short story other than that like I said it was pretty good

Lovely!

i read this on my phone in between work and travelling. So enthralled I had to read it again. so full of courage, affection and deep feeling. It must be difficult enough to realise your orientation but to overcome bigotry, embarrassment and prejudice is truly amazing. I will now read another of your stories despite Runner4069's comments which I consider close to being moronic. There is more to life than beating the meat!

Well done.

Wow! How wonderful. Great story, didn’t need the wham bam. The flow of the story and intensity of the characters was enough. (S9808)

I really liked this story - the author’s character development, particularly of Jess and Ash, was heartwarming. The story was engaging throughout, though a distracting element was the repeated use of hair colour and age the refer to characters, and some other grammatical errors. For me this was a 5 star story

It's just meh, at times it's just too much and the author is very very focused on age and hair color, the age part being more annoying. The sex is terrible, there is no oral which is odd for a lesbian story(and I've read a boatload on here), and the description of the kisses at times is over the top and then some.

Wow an amazing story. I feel we need more of jess and ash

I really have lost count of the amount of times I have read this tale.

Fear not, every time I read it, it never loses its charm.

A true classic and will always remain in my "Top Ten" stories :)

Beautiful story❤️

Equisite.

I re-read this story every so often. It really is an engrossing story. It’s believable, and I suspect a combination of desires and real life experiences. As a reader I am invested in the characters, and I was left feeling as though they really exist. Thank you.

I read this story a while ago and it was just as good as the first time! Jessie and Ashley’s love story is so beautiful. The slow burn of friends to lovers even though we all know it was love at first sight. I like how you told the story from both of their perspectives though I did kinda get confusing at times when you would describe them by their features and then turn around and use their names, could be just me though. Thank you for writing this beautiful romance

I love the fact that time means nothing in the comments section of writings on Literotica. It would make sense use a story as an example of what to do, or not do, in a non-erotic essay. But critical comments directed at an author who hasn't published anything in over four before the comment is made? What people just ignore about a story is just bizarre, but especially the last active date in their story lists and profile. You can't always tell, of course, but the date of the latest publication is a pretty good clue. People still direct personal comments to Colleen Thomas, who died in 2006, so fifteen years since any possible author activity...

Of course posting comments in response to comments in inactive author's stories is probably non-productive, but what the hell.

I read this story several years ago and then couldn’t find it again until now. Great storytelling. I love the emotion and love of both women. You did a great job representing both! Well written and well done

What a beautiful romance. Thank you for posting. All the best for the future.

This is such a beautiful story! I loved everything about it! Definitely one of my fav stories here! <3

To kind of go off what some others said about using the characters names, you should also apply that to spots where you refer to them by their occupation, or their position. just use their names. Other than that great story

This is by far the most beautiful and romantic storiy I’ve ever read. The only improvement that I can make is to refer to the characters more by their name and not their hair color, which made it confusing at times who you were referring to. I besides that it was great and it was written in such a good taste, that you should think about trying to have it published on Kindle/Amazon or Kobo, so people that don’t go to porn sites can enjoy this wonderful story.

Okay, where to begin...

Jessie and Ashley were both very fleshed-out characters, I love both of them to death.

The side characters were great too! Including the ones we weren’t necessarily supposed to like.

I love slow burns and this was definitely the ultimate slow burn romance. I was waiting for the moment where they finally realized their feelings for each other and I was NOT disappointed.

This was seriously great, I couldn’t put it down, I’m glad these two had their happy ending. 10/10. :)

Love it! Have read this story multiple times as it's an all time favorite. One of the most touching on this site, i think. So enjoyed the character development and getting to share their journey with them. Jessie and Ashley are two of my favorites! Thanks so much for sharing this. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

I loved the story but...........

please try to use the characters names rather than the blonde or brunette. Shifting back and forth made it confusing at times. Other than that, GREAT story.

What an incredible story.

The first chapter was a little tough with all the characters, but from then on I couldn’t put it down.

Thank you so much for sharing,

I liked it. A little on the long-winded though.

I feel like there were a lot of parts, like the scene with the shooting start, that were cute in the moment but weren't actually necessary in driving the story forward. And I would sub our "Negotiate" for "Navigate" in a lot of places but other than that, It's a good read

Wow!!!

I read that story 3 times and it's still amazing. I'm pretty sure I'll read it again soon. Always like a lesbian romance with an happy ending

Thanks for sharing

Sylvain

One of the best stories I’ve ever read on this site. The depth you put in to the characters brought them to life and I felt the churning emotions of Ashley and Jessie as they struggled to accept the love they felt for one another. I’m a sucker for a love story and a happy ending and this delivered on both of those and then some. Thank you for sharing this with us.

It was one of those LGBTQ-themed story that I would definitely recommend even to my straight friends. It's hard to find stories like this here. And God,I didn't want their story to come to an end.

Thank you so much for this love story. I fell in love with the characters and I’m so happy that it ended in a happily ever after way. Words can not express how this love story !!😍😍

I am still finding it hard to believe that this story was written in 2002. WHAT!!! In every sense of the word, THIS STORY IS TIMELESS! I could come back 20 years from now and still be in awe of this story 😍.

Also a huge lesson to pay attention to your friends and lovers, not to take them for granted especially the ones who are always there for you, at your beck and call. Thank you StormyNite! xoxo

I hope Jessie and Ashley's love is still glowing.

Can't believe almost 14 years have passed since this story was first published. Can't believe almost 10 years ago I read it for the first time... I so wish this was published as a book so that I could hug it to sleep (because it has become my bed time ritual to wander through the words and cling onto my mobile screen and fall asleep)... All these years none of my real life loves made me feel like the way this story does. It's almost too perfect to be true! If you are reading this, author, I want you to know that you didn't really write a story. You gifted me the concept of love. And I will forever be grateful to you for that... <3 <3

This has been a beautifully written love story of two people who became friends and then realised there love for each other was deep and pure and ready too face the good and bad that live will throw at them and I hope you will write about there marriage and children and what happens to the children fantastic story StormyNite. xx

What a tale telling love story ..... With some great side tales and heartouching main events

Yes love is hard to find but its worth to climb some mountains

So i was taken by the hand and guided to your mountain to finally discover your love here

Absolutely great and thank you for sharing

This story was well written and the storyline beautifully written will you write the follow up to this story so we can read when they marry and if the children come into there lives please. I enjoyed every word and every page of this story thank you.

.................. as a football fan, the "Americanisation" (is that an actual word?) of parts of the greatest game on the planet REALLY grated.

For example "making" a goal .......... a goal is SCORED, and the ball is PASSED to a team mate.

But then, what can be expected from a country who think "football" is played by throwing and handling a ball?

Leaving that aside though, it was 23 pages of an engrossing love story between two "damaged" women who finally admitted their feelings to themselves as well as each other.

Well written (apart from the football parts) with a believable cast.

An instant favourite, 5 stars, to take any stars away for the football mistakes would be petty rofl.

Well done

This is by far one of my favorite stories on here it's so relaxing to just read it

Absolutely a genuine pleasure to read! Thank you

Without a doubt this is one of the best stories on this site. All of the characters are so well written (even Makayla!), i wish that i was in their world so i could know them. I really appreciate the longer stories as you get so much more character development and detail. This is one of my favorites that i have to revisit regularly. Thank you so much for the effort you obviously put into this, and for sharing it with us! Please continue writing as your stories are very moving. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹

Taking into account the issues with grammar, I thought it was a very good story. I know to some, grammar is very important - myself included. Every time I see a misspelled word, I hear the voice of my 12th grade English teacher in my head. (Ooo, the voices!) Regardless, if the mistakes aren't too over the top, I will muddle through. As far as the story goes, I thought the structure was good, the characters were well developed and there was the right amount of conflict for this type of story. If I have a critique to add it would be to strive to improve your spelling and use of grammar. I know you feel it a bore, but if people don't read your work what's the point?

This is such a well written story, I love coming back and reading it over and over again. Thank you for sharing this wonderful love story with us!

It's a good friends to lovers story, until you hear the song the story is written around. It's just not a song you can really dance to which kills the story, but hey... you do you.

It's 2:30 in the morning and I just finished reading this amazing story. It was worth staying up for.

Maybe you should fix your own mistakes. I believe you meant to say no and not now.

I dropped this story at the first paragraph. There's now way that I'm going to read 23 pages of poor grammar.

I don't know where to begin, this story is just so wonderful. From the characters to the emotions this story truly is a work of art that I couldn't read fast enough. I will definitely have to read it again and again.

I could keep reading on and on this story is so well written. Thank you to the writer for such an engrossing story.

And keep coming back to it. Thank you for sharing it with us!

Long and loving. Tender but tough. Passionate and pleasing. So we'll done, thank you!

23 pages of heaven. What a talent. The most moving and beautiful story on lit. Intense and passionately written .

It's so beautiful, I'm out of words. A big WOOOOOOOOW. This story could go on ages and never fail the reader to feel all the love that's poured in the writing and the characters' story itself. This is so beautiful, really. Wow. Wow. Wow. I've always, always, dreamed of a love like this. Always. Thank you so much for this.

I really love it.i have read many stories on Lit. But most are more of sex than love but this is awesome, so wonderful actually i dont know how to describe. T has helped me alot to put my mind off my breakup with her. The love between Jessie and Ashley is what every woman deserves. Best story ever, thank you for keeping me busy when i had to be hurting.

Now ladies and mentalgen THIS is how you write romance!

So bloody beautiful. An exquisite story.

Thank you!

I've read stories on Lit that have had love in them, but still more sex than love. This one is just the opposite opposite, and made it even better.

Well(very) done, and much appreciated!

Thank you.

I reread this again recently, and still find the episode with the goose and the yoghurt most arousing. But what is the significance of Jessie's blue socks?

I recently REREAD this story because I couldn't remember it. After perusing the

pages. I decided to read the story thinking I'd never read it. That's when I read about the bar scene, and it is their that I found I had. This has too be one of the most tearful love stories ever written for Literotica. It is so moving in the way Ashley struggles with herself. Such infinite love Jessie holds in just so she can spend time with her.

I Loved and still love this story.

🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 dozen roses and 5🌟''s

Things I would change: I'd do a global search and replace for "the blond" and "the brunette", to "Jessie" and "Ashley", but that's it. Everything else stays the way it is. This is perhaps the best love story I've read on this site! Thank you for sharing it with us!

That was so damned fine...I stayed up all night to read it!! Thank you xx

This story was amazingly written. The build up in which the story grew was just breathtakingly beautiful. Love, jealousy, caring, temptations etc, was captivating on every page. There were times I laughed, cried and even smiled form ear to ear for the happiness they received in the end. I love a great romantic story. I could only wish to find love that beautiful in every way.

What a fantastic story! I loved the slow burn and build, and the last two pages or so had me in almost constant tears! thank you for sharing this story with us!

One of a few favourites of mine. Brilliant

Loved the story. Read it more than 5 times.

Give us more please :-)

Though I have read many stories on this site, some very well written, I have never been drawn into those stories like I have been with this one. The plot is top notch, it flows logically and naturally. You don't try to do too much with it, but you fill out the pages with enough content to keep us reading. You can feel the tension as you read the story, the buildup, the climax. The characters are solidly believable, well developed and not in the mold of the usual "shy coquette meets outgoing wild child" theme I have come to expect from most literotica stories. Though the focus, I feel, was more on the love between these two women, I feel the only complaint I can make is that the passionate moments were rushed. Despite that, I prefer plot over stories that are just about the sex. We have all read those stories here. If we could give more stars for a review, I would give this story many more than 5. Solid, good job. I look forward to more stories from you.

Wow what a beautiful story. Friendship, love, romance. You are a gifted writer.

I never comment on stories but this is the best one on this site for sure. I much prefer romantic stories and this was perfect in that regard. I could've read hundreds of pages about these two, so sweet and loving. Thank you for writing this <3

Very good romantic story ( not that erotic though) but d pace is not stable..Very smooth in d love section but not as good in passion..the passionate moments looks sudden..rushed..and not well described..it looks like a burden..otherwise very good story

Unimaginably beautiful ! I cried so many times. I read this work love and care in less time than I've read some of the other stories. It's so graceful, in its way you travel each one of the girls individual path to joy. As one of the many people that have shared this journey that you provided with your Incredible imagination. I want to thank you!!! 😍💏💖💕 5🌟's

I have read this so many times that I have lost count. Each and every reading brings out something different that I find fascinating. I make sure I have tissues at hand when I do read it as yes, I find myself crying, too, when I read it. To my mind it should be listed at the top of the genre listing.

I cried...... And I've read this for like five times already...... Definately a masterpiece!! Still crying

This is a wonderful story. It has believable characters with a great plot. Instead of the usual fall-into-bed-sex-sex-sex-by the second paragraph type of story usually seen on this site, this story has a slow careful build up of emotions. It is very well-crafted.

MOVIE PLEASE

*ehem indie film producers*

You know the feeling when you finished reading a story then deep inside you're hoping for a sequel or an epilogue? Well, this is not that kind for me. In my opinion, this piece is the one in which you don't need to know further at the end, search for 'more', because it's perfect as it is..

I hope y'all are getting what I'm saying though. Sooo bad at expressing my thoughts clearly. :(

Hands down, StormyNite! We look forward to reading your masterpieces!

This.. Is perfect. I love this so much. This is my third time reading this, and I still.. Seriously, takes my breath away. I would give this way more than 5 stars! Definitely my favorite story. It gives me a little hope that a love like this does exist.

one day I'll find my Jess or Ash.

Wow! Words can't explain how I'm really feeling right NOW! OMG! I guess I can say this is an AMAZING story. But that just doesn't cut it for me! I LOVED IT! I literally couldn't put my phone down. And I agree this needs to be a movie I would totally buy It! WOW THANK YOU! For writing this inspiring,encouraging, beautiful ,magnificent STORY! THANK YOU AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

Absolutely beautiful. Enthralled from the first paragraph. With due respect to this wonderful site, this is a story which should get a wider audience. You should publish in an unrestricted form somewhere. Love story of the highest order.

Thank You , StormyNite & Jessie

This NEEDS to be a movie! This is easily the best story on this site and is far better than many books I have read.

If you're looking for a LOVE STORY with "real" characters, a plot, theme, the works without the emphasis on sex, sex, and more sex - this is one. It is admirable and beautifully written. This was one of the first 10 stories I read on literotica and it helped endear me to this site in search of amazing stories like it. (I haven't been disappointed). Thank you StormyNight for sharing this gift with us. All the best.

The person who said this should be made into a film was RIGHT. I started to cry when Jessie did, at the end. You illustrated their passion with your words so beautifully, and I could feel every electric touch of emotion. Very, very well done.

One of the best stories I've read. All of the elements of romance tied together so well. Only a couple grammatical errors, but otherwise a great piece to lose myself in.

Absolutely loved your story and keep coming back to it and thinking about the characters. Well done! Oh and just had to find the song "When You're Near Me" loved that too.

This is by far one of the best stories I have read on this site.

The best ever!

Thank you!

L

What a wonderful love story this is. It would make a damned good film. No more to be said.

av neva read anything more superb dan dis. best story ever luv it . u d best .

I have read many stories here...this is the first time I commented..this is by far the absolute best written thoughtout story on the whole site..btavo...

I ... I have no idea how many times I've read this story. I' m not in the remotest way certain, how many of those times I've actually reached the end. Whatever that number is, however, I can add a zero onto the end of it before my eyes are dry at the end of suffering this magnificence, and TWO zeroes onto the end of it, before I search for something to inspire me again to feel how glowy I'm now buzzing.

Holy shit.

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This rules *so* much

love it, you have a true flare for writing , the story is passionate and heart melting. hoping to read more - A

Loved the story. Stayed up to finish the whole story. Very well written and it draws you into the story where you can not look away.

All 23 pages in one sitting. It was too good to stop. Wow. That's powerful.

Honestly,,,, I read it straight through feeling each wave of emotion and each delicious sensual moment. NOW,,,, I need a cold shower !

There's not really much else to say. Thank you.

This the second time I have read this story. I loved this story the first time I read it, but now I find a true lack of words to describe how it has mede me feel. Thank you again for sharing this with us all.

BEST OF BEST .

Just spent the better part of a fantastic early spring day glued to the computer reading this story. Great day and worth every minute. Love how it did not go straight to sex, but it was a fantastic love story. Another romantic guy that thought this was one of the best stories I have read in a really long time. Great job!

this was incredible. i loved this because im a sucker for a good romantic story, and the fact that it was just the two of them meeting and falling in love was so much better than any other story where they just got it on all the time. i love it so much <3

at first i was upset when i read this story on my phone i couldnt believe they just ended it like that than i looked up the story on my laptop and i just fell in love with jessie and ashley im glad it wasnt all about sex i just loved it please keep it going