All Comments on 'Whoa! Did That Really Happen'

This has the chance to be a good little erotic series, following the erotic adventures of Jason. I mean he could get female professors, teaching assistants and students to give him sex in whatever way he wanted it, get the Chancellor of the University to hire him to a full time job, etc...

He could also get the student who put together the experiment to give him the recipe and then get that student to promptly forget what he did, while also wiping the memories of anyone who had enough knowledge of the incident to give him any problems.

It's great to see Jason fuck the shit out of his sister and blow his brotherly balls up her cute little cunt. I'd have loved seeing her dad stick his fat veiny daddy-dick up his Little Princess's cunt as well. Best of all, to my mind, is if Jason shoved his big hard cock up the same twat he came out of, and gave his mother a truly royal incestuous fuck. Jason unloading his young balls and shooting his mom a huge twatful of his semen would've been perfect.

Don't you just love a happy ending. I like the part when he takes care of his dad's needs. Let mom and sis keep those two happy.

We all have asked for more, you should do another. I would love for him and his father to swap!

Unbelievable what's creates in heads these children :))

And necessarily and compulsory(!) has to be - "shaved" :))

Please keep it up, the old friends could gang bang sis in the ass. Good read !! Thanks

For fuck's sake come up with an original plot, this has been done to fucking death.

Having his dad tell him that he wanted his son to make his mother pregnant before his sister became pregnant.

Both him and his dad share his mom, since dad can't make his wife pregnant, but dad knows that his daughter, Jason's sister is just for Jason to fuck and have her for his slave.

Both him and his dad fuck his mom at the same time, double penetrating her in the ass and pussy, and he makes his cock another inch longer to make it nine inches long and nine inches around, filling his mom's pussy more than she has ever been filled with hot sperm to where it takes a day for all of it to drip out of her.

Completely implausible dialog and scenarios.

I've never read such a pile of puerile crap.

Why didn't Jason "suggest" himself a cock like a donkey with a permanent hard on and an inexhaustible supply of cum? Then as well as fucking sister Annie and his mom into oblivion, he could also fuck the brains out of his friends' bucket cunted sisters, keeping them too satisfied to bother with their needle dicked brothers.

This pathetic excuse for an author could even take it a step further, and have a whole squad of eight month pregnant cheerleaders dancing bollock naked at the football games.

I hope MY power of suggestion works, and this fuckwit never tries to write again!!

Good read - Keep it up and screw the Haters!

This story reminds me of another very similar one on Literotica called The Power to Revenge: Hot Sister by blogger007. The premise of suggestion is almost the same and I'm not sure if you read it or were inspired by it but that story is AMAZING. It has a better plot, incredibly detailed and lurid sex scenes, believable dialogue, great character development, and the women in the story are sexy, sensuous and very realistic considering it's a work of erotica. I'm not saying this story is terrible, but maybe you should spend more time editing and fine-tuning it so it can be that much better, and take a look at the story I mentioned on how you can improve your work.

This is the best incest story I have read so far it's on par with Family Time. loved every page of it

If that is not possible or there are more than one possible segment that applies then a header with descriptors should be prominently posted.

imho this is mind control and the premise is totally specious.

I can't believe I wasted my time with this fairy tale.

.....here to find out what I'd missed.

Suggestion: Pick a title and category that represents the general theme of the series and stay with that, keeping the same title, but changing chapter numbers and perhaps a thematic note after the chapter number.

When you give each story a different title and category, you lose a lot of potential readers to the resulting confusion.

Suggestion: carefully review and edit your story several times before submitting, both stories had significant problems with vocabulary (right word for something, right spelling for that word meaning). And watch person, number, tense and general grammar. I say this not to nit pick, but in an attempt to help you remove/correct things from your stories that cause annoyance/irritation to your audience. Good technicals make a story easier to enjoy.

The story: it is an interesting premise, done before, but not nearly as often as several other themes in other categories in this forum. However, repeating another well established idea is not good enough. You have an obligation as a writer to change it dimensionally, or to esthetically improve it. You have not yet shown that kind of commitment to your craft.

You are an engaging writer. I hope you will take this somewhere new and more interesting.

I also hope you will clean up the technicals and put more editorial effort into your submissions.

daaamn what i wouldn't give to have a power like that, i could do just about anything i want, and do anyone i wanted

I like how he had restraint. He had a power that could destroy someones life. He didn't do that. Even with the bully, he could have done SO much more than making him a wimp

Very good read I wish I could do this kinda shit

Ok premise but was ruined when he shared his sister and was going to let his buddies fuck his sisters ass and then gave her permission to fuck and suck any guys she wanted. No man would do that, he would simply keep an untouched piece of ass for himself. Got one star because you tried to make the story into a porno.