All Comments on 'Wicked Witch of the Office'

Story was a little slow at the beginning but pick-up at the end. What was his talent????

....read the story.Much better than most of it's ilk, wish the struggle between Carolyn and Scott in front of Skyler had been more developed but still an excellent read.

Hatsuda,

As an early story this one was pretty good. Again, hoping to get by the opening apology, if you haven't gotten rid of it by now, please do so in the future. There were a few things, maybe you've worked through and saw as you've had a chance to re-read since it has been posted, or maybe others have pointed it out. There is some question in mind as to who has interest in or is promoting Scott's talents, is it the University or the company? In the first couple of paragraphs this detial becomes muddled and the further text in the story seems to complicate it. The sudden change in view at the end is also something which really detracts from what is overall a good story. I can never warn someone enough that switching from first person to third person really murders a story. Unless you have a long story made up of several different fragments then you should stick to one point of view, unless you are telling a third person story with extended first person dialogue as they are retelling an event to other characters. The last thing which took away was the description of Carolyn near the start of the story. The term "man hater" is kind of a loaded term and usually equates to lesbian as it is most often a derogatory remark aimed at lesbians by men who have no chance in hell of ever seducing them. The term also falls as a label upon women mistaken as lesbians because of their avoidance of men, usually a result of a sexual assault or years of molestation. In either case in a story where a majority of the setting is the "office", which usually equates as being the realm of men with few women of power around in the mind of the reader, either type is going to be dressed ultra-conservative, the lesbian not wanting any men looking at her because she would not want men looking to her, and the victim because she does not want to feel as if she might be generating sexual tension on someone who might take too much interest in her. On to the finer points, again the work place is presented realisticaly, and makes one dread heading back there in the morning. And I do think you have a definate dominant streak, I just don't think you realize it. Looking forward to reading more from you and seeing you develop. I think some of you visuals are some of the richest I've read, most of them a lot better than mine.

Master Vyle

Very good yet again, but is this story going to have another chapter on how or if their relationship develops or more on how Skylar recruits or treats his other employees

A different bend on things. Not bad. At least a great daydream.

Well written. Good story line, but you need a proofreader. Mostly grammar, and missing words. Remember, it just makes it read better, so it inhandeous your story. Keep writing and editing.

XYZ