All Comments on 'Wife Enjoys a Mysterious Man Watching'

You need to improve your spelling. Every time there is a mis-spelled word, it's a deal breaker. Your fantasy is nice but you are in too much of a rush to get to the 'money shot'. Keep working at it.

Your writing shows promise but needs more character construction and definitely an editor, I can help with the latter.

A lot of homonym (different meanings and spelling, but same or similar pronunciation) problems, and neither autocorrect nor spell-check will fix that.

(strait = geographic feature; straight = not crooked)

LIT offers volunteer editors, who can help an author with word mechanic (and other) problems. Some of the most creative authors in LIT use editors!

The story is fairly basic, but it has the bones to be substantially improved (not MUCH is done with the 'home-town' vacation idea! That could be milked a lot more!) The 'ending' suggests that a follow-up chapter or several may be in the works. I hope so!

Next time, indicate 'Chap. 1' in the story title. Also keep the title exactly the same, except for the chapter number AND keep the same LIT Category (i.e. Loving Wives)!

I enjoyed the story - watch the spelling issues - they can be a distraction. I do hope you will write a part two. There is certainly much more to enjoy with the three characters you have here.

loser and a not very bright one.

Keep working on it I am looking for the week to evolve. Think on the wise comments and build on them. Plenty more and I for one look for more. Jean

but it seems to be the set-up for more and it would good to some indication of that if it really is the case - most readers would prefer it to be labelled 'Chapter one,' but even a 'to be continued' would have confirmed that we hadn't read the whole story.

There were also the spelling/homonym issues that others have mentioned which suggests that careful proo-reading or editing would make a big difference. But don't be discouraged and try to get the next part posted quickly while this is still fresh in our minds.

Now that you've got our attention, you can stop holding us in suspense, keep going, don't stop, please.

Angie fixin to be a whore with the.neighbor.