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By now he was heading for the door and Julie was up on her feet following him. As he opened the door he turned and gave her a small light kiss on her cheek before saying goodbye. She turned around and then entered the bathroom. This was my cue to open the wardrobe door and step out still wondering what to do. I did the only thing I could think of and that was to also leave the room wondering about what I was going to say about where I'd been and where. Then the thought occurred to me that I wasn't the one who had something to explain but Julie had! I wondered what she would say and what this meant for the future.
I headed for the bar where I had a couple more drinks before returning to the room. When I got there Julie was laid in bed apparently asleep. I undressed and slid in besides her. What would she say in the morning?
- COMMENTS
BeauReadyalmost 4 years agoThat the wife would be so vain, stupid and shallow a cunt and react so vehemently to a lousy 30 minute business phone call. Walking away and blowing then fucking the first guy she meets in a pique and as revenge; just throwing her marriage away. It's not like hubby was talking to another woman or a mistress; or beating her!
It doesn't matter "what she has to say"!! It's what she did that speaks volumes. And this sickening betrayal cannot be tolerated. She's no longer your wife - by her own choice and conduct.
So get back what's yours. She wants to be a whore, turn her out - put her to work! She can now do the "business" and pay you back for the last 20 years. While you've got her whoring her cunt, time you found a decent, younger, more grateful replacement - maybe even two of them.
Hopefully, that points out the weakness of your plot - making the wife such a shallow character exhibiting a huge over-reaction. Seriously, not believable; the alternative approach would have been to describe her dissatisfaction with her life and with her husband and marriage, so that an incremental build-up of a marriage dissolution comes about with "the straw that broke the camel's back". The last thing to finally trigger a complete collapse of the marriage.
LenardSpencerabout 4 years agoYou have to get your details correct. Readers notice them. 300 pounds for 3 hours is hardly expensive! Particularly when a decent bottle of Champagne is 50 to 100 (min) that she wasted on him. Then she asks if she was worth 5 thousand when it had not been mentioned earlier!
Also, she finishes her drink downstairs at 9 pm, immediately stands up and they go up to her room where she gives him a BJ and suddenly it's 10.45. How long was this BJ?
The details matter. Plus, did she txt message her husband? Or just ignore him completely? So, good creative writing but please, the "devil's in the details". Cheers and good luck for you next episode. (It's a curse having been a former editor. lol) Oh, plus, being English, it's "sight" not "site" when you see something. Don't use the USA version.
Wuffleabout 4 years agoI enjoyed reading this, even though I don't usually read voyeur stories (I found this off your very recent submission). It left me wanting another chapter/ continuation of the story line.
EspressoBolusalmost 15 years agoHubby is easily confused. Wife is a thrifty lass, helping to pay for the outing, that's all. Why all the fuss?
hal_2142almost 15 years agoNot bad for a first effort. Writing and editing weren't too bad, this topic can be a serious lightning rod on this board.
Continue the story.. confront her.. make her aware you know she is now a whore. Plenty of places to go from here; fight reconcile, kick her to the street, turn her out as a hooker/call girl/whore..your story run with it. She was upset you took care of business, explain that it's no different than the business she took care of, just a different product.
