All Comments on 'Will You Love Me 'Til I Die? Ch. 01'

I loved it. Thx.

I keep trying to convince myself, this is fiction...this IS fiction...THIS is fiction...this is FICTION.

I gotta compliment you mountaincat4 for writing a story that actually baffles and perturbs me! Well crafted and superbly imagineered.

Accepting the basic premise of this story and the character of the characters you wrote. Why would any rational person believe anything that the Anne antagonist claims?

Especially her motivations? She is already Hell bound, a few fuckings and a Valentine card ain't going to save her sorry ass from the Abyss.

Why should Sandy believe or accept Carl's doleful opinion that he should, (0ne more time!) sacrifice himself, his marriage and his family on Anne's behalf?

Carl will be nestled in luxury, getting himself fucked by hot-to-trot-mama until Anne slips on her twelve inch dildo and pegs him right up the poop chute!

If the Anne character was capable of honesty (hahaha! See there? That's called satire!) she would have paid up front.

If Carl was capable of intelligence, he would have demanded payment, in full, in advance. As a symbol of good faith by someone who has never understood the concept.

Cause he already knows that Anne is NOT trustworthy but he would then be contractually required to fulfill his end of this deal made in hell.

mc4, truthfully, I am cringing at the thought but will be fascinated(Classical definition) to read the future chapters as you develop this storyline. You are really forcing me out of my comfort zone. Thank You.

P.S. it would be hilarious to read the responses you would receive if you had posted this story to the Loving Wives category. Those adolescent trolls would certainly applaud Carl's behavior as within their shriveled definition of 'manly'.

There is already a similar series by Wifetheif (yes that is spelled correctly) in LW titled "How much do you think I would bring" and "I know what I am doing". In all these stories the long term benefit of cash seems to be the ultimate driver. Whereas, this series has an altruistic undertone of love, the other has none of that. Either way I look forward to how you address the core issues of the relationship between the husband and the wife, both during and after the separation.

It is already off to a poor start for Carl's and Sandy's future. Carl has already shown his wife he cares little for her or their relationship. His wife whom he loves dearly stated "Carl, if you do anything with her besides talk, we're through. Do you understand me? I will not let her finish destroying our lives." To which he promptly replies..."I hear you Sandy. I'm just curious to see what she's up to. I have no intentions of having anything else to do with her under any circumstances". He leaves his wife dressed to the nines, rides away in the limo, and promptly fucks Anne. Carl has no...I need to think this over...or even a weak...I have to call my wife ...and stepping aside to phone it in. He simply jumps feet first into infedelity, then heads home and brags to his wife that he did it. And as for why, because Anne is dying and that clearly trumps love, commitment, and communications. I know it's just a story but that is how it started.

And here is where the story gets hard to bring into a believable focus.

I look forward to seeing how you balance both lives (with Anne and Sandy) for Carl. What happens over the next 6 months regarding the kids and school, plays, games, science fairs, recitals, etc... Will he attended in the role of the part time/divorced father? There for the good stuff but gone when heavy lifting needs to be done? Or perhaps he will not attend and miss those events? He already noted the "hell" he went through missing birthdays and Christmas, and now he might be doing that to his loving family again. Why? What happens if Sandy gets sick or breaks her leg? Will Carl take the kids with him? It's a better house for the kids to be in, takes all the burden off the wife, Carl gets to bang the new "super model" mistress so he has no need for the old wife anyway, maybe the kids can call Anne mom before she dies for the full "loving relationship" experience. Then in 6 months Carl can decide to hand the kids back to the old wife and move on living like this with the next dying heiress or simply on his new found fortune. Or if he decides to return how does that reconciliation begin and resolve itself with Sandy?

This is that part of the story that I look forward to seeing the author resolve.

The first thing wrong is when he goes to talk to her, why would he do that?

This woman has already:

1) Proved to him and his wife that she CANNOT be trusted, so he is willing listening to a liar.

2) Cost his family two point five million dollars.

And she wants him to come running for nothing?!

Next having told his wife (under threat of divorce) that he is only going to talk with the bitch, as soon as dinner is done he runs to have sex with the bitch.

Then with no guarantee of any sort he agrees to spend months with her, leaving his family and his job.

The fable of the frog and the scorpion comes to mind.

Simply insane.

This is far past any point of suspension of disbelief.

And then I started reading.... and I have to agree with the other commenters on this... WTF???? I'm suddenly in the Loving Wives section, or should that be Loving Husbands?

I'm sorry, I don't normally write to criticise because I don't like doing that, but I read the very beginning of your story and thought wow, great writing, but then felt duped. I wouldn't have started reading if I knew what was coming..

......and then you gave the pen to an adolescent female.

Didn't vote until reading three chapters, so gave you a chance....

...which you didn't take.

* all the way through.

Sorry, so much promise.

I understand him. A guy who believes that somehow dishonest people will be honest and trustworthy this time.

And that he will go home, having completely broken his promise to his wife, who he claims to love deeply, fully expecting her to understand why he decided to be unfaithful for a promise of future riches and the good life.

He married the right woman, as she is as gullible as he is and agrees to the fantasy.

A shallow man who pretends that he can be her "Make a Wish Foundation" provider.

Have an "approved" affair with a rich woman and then bring home the bacon.

We will see if the author follows through to teach us all a lesson. He enjoys making quotes. Wonder if he will get to "money can't buy me love"

Personally, I have always been silly and dumb enough to believe in the end everyone will be happy. Most of the rest of you know reality is usually very different.

Five stars from me so far because the story is making me look within.

Planned on giving it a 5, even tho I had some of the same feelings voiced in the other comments...surprised there are so few.

So...a lot of chapters to go...and you explained his thinking, and his wife's, and her so well easy to go with 5 still...looking forward to coming chapters.

I do not agree with the other commenters that do not find the premise believable. These commenters have jumped to conclusions and have lacked in applying critical reading and thinking skills.

The first mistake made by most was the mischaracterization of Anne. As a business woman, she took advantage of failing and poorly performing companies. Her business practice was ruthless, selfish, and calculating but it was not illegal, dishonest, or untrustworthy. She is not a liar, nor is she a person unworthy of trust.

The second mistake made by commenters is that Anne is responsible for Carl and Sandy's financial woes. I know that the story 'says' she is, but this is objectively false. She couldn't tell Carl to dump his stock as that would have been insider trading which is both illegal and unethical. Furthermore, Carl and Sandy are not the sharpest knives in the drawer when it comes to investing and finance. What is the advise given most frequently to investors? Don't put all of your eggs in one basket. Diversify, diversify, diversify.

Thirdly, Anne has no family. She is the last. Unless she uses most of her estate to establish a foundation, like Alfred Nobel, Who will inherit the estate after she passes? What possible motive would she have to cheat Carl and Sandy again?

What I do find unbelievable is that Carl said, "I must be out of my fucking mind. Alright I'll ask her but if she says no then that's the end of it."