All Comments on 'Without You I Have Nothing Ch. 18'

I can't believe the number of negative comments this series is attracting. It looks like a campaign. I agree the story tends to ramble but the basic concept is there. Don't forget this is the author's first submission so how about constructive rather than destructive criticism.

He's rambling, he's boring and he's still at it. Please quit writing until you have learned how to write.

Wow really good story.

Some of the negative comments I've noticed are obviously from those that have very little understanding of what is or isn't a good story. But they must like it because they continue to read it. Keep them coming and I'll continue reading them.

take some time and first read some of the stories by some of the well known authors here, check the most read stories and that will give you an idea of how to put together a story. For a first submission this is not bad in parts but your characters need a lot more work. The plot twists and turns and gets lost along the way. Your language is very descriptive but that alone is not enough to save a story with a mediocre plot and characters. Sorry, better luck next time

wow you know more about some of the Asian values and customs than I do and I AM Asian... anyway dont be too discouraged by the comments. I guess reading your story again helps. At least you would know if the story is flowing. It's not a bad thing to have details but perhaps not tooo descriptive? (: Jia you. if you get what it means. ;)

That clears up a lot of things, sort of like going to day 4 of 'the ring cycle' operas. And as for the critics, they are critics because they can not be artists. Write and improve your art. John b.

you need some serious research on the Gurkhas, especially GORs. Try not to obtain your material from comics

First of all i know you don't know much about indian religions but i would tell you that 1. Sikhism is different than Hinduism ( culture, festivals, different gods) 2. A sikh would never disgrace his turban, turban is his pride. He can give his life for turban and wouldn't throw it on floor... It's his crown.

By the way your story is great... Great work sir

I had a sense early in the story, that Peter’s youth was spent in horror. The description was amazingly vivid, and worse than anything I’d imagined. It explained much of the character, including how he rose from punching bag, to mysterious business mogul.

Somehow, I sense that he isn’t done using his early life skills.

Excellent writing!