by PacoFear
Very well done. The descriptions were just enough to convey the message without droning, the visuals were incredible. All around one of my very few favorites on this site. Well done!
Brilliantly done. Excellent buildup, believable characters, involved background. I have to admit the thing I enjoyed the most was the little quirks of their overall relationship together. The writing on skin, scooter/dog-girl nicknames, the whole "bawoo" bit. I loved it, it gave them depth and a sense of reality. Again just brilliantly done stuff. Keep up the good work
I loved the backstory and details - it felt much more plausible and sweeter than most I have read. I figured out "imu" within seconds of reading the line; I didn't realize it was something there might be ambiguity about. The question for me was whether Chip would turn out to be real and how much was fabricated. I wasn't sure if you were aiming for long-pursued-and-finally-achieved-love (my preference) or last-fling-to-resolve-old-desires (which wouldn't have fit the hints as well, but I couldn't rule out). Very well done!
Loved it. Didn't figure out the "imu" at all. Wonderfully built-up and patient.
This is the first time I am leaving a comment and it's simply because this story is fabulous.. Loved every part of it.. Cheers..
Not really a big incest fan, but you nailed it in this story.
Marvelous job.
This is one of the best stories on here. It contains great sex, emotion, and story. Seriously, just plain awesome. If you ever write a book, I would read it. I certainly will read your other stories...as soon as I recover :)
I'll keep it short and simple. This story is not just about sex but about love and the passion that two lovers feel for each other, I did get what imu meant but mistook it for ilu instead of a heart. This is by far the best story I've read on this site. An amazing story. If there was a prize i'd give it to you for best incest/taboo story, its that good.
There are rarely any stories that i comment on. Yours is the one i would love to comment...
Loved the way the story unfolded, specially the 'imu' part... I thought of it to be "I n U".. I wasn't able to concentrate on any thing else until i completed reading the story!! It kept me hard all along.
My exams were around the corner when I came across this story and it kept me bound the whole time!! Loved it!!
Keep up the fantastic work!!!
Hope to read new stories from you.
TC.
great story i really enjoyed it and yes i did figure out early imu was i heart (love) you which is testament to your storyu writing skilss as i figured she loved him so much from an early age :)
great story thanks again for writing it i would have liked a little longer ... maybe look to the future kind of thing :)
Wow! Yeah, that "wow" was the first word I muttered when I finished reading this story... To be honest I dislike story consisting of an*l, but yours is different, the pace of the story is very good, the sex scene is also perfectly portrayed...
Btw, about that Imu, I think there is no need to be proud of this, but I've deduced correctly the meaning behind "Imu" since the first time you brought it up... (well, I don't know why, but I "heart" U was the first thing coming to my mind when I read this "Imu", maybe because I played those "word on skin" games when I was a child too)
And knowing it, while the brother remain clueless feels funny :lol:
more than just a dirty story...somehow sweet and heartfelt as well! I loved the whole bawoo thing
"im" the story. figured out imu on the first page though, and that there is no chip on page 3 (but it was obvious by then). well deserved 5*
I've read my fair share of erotic stories, and very few writers actually take the time to construct a meaningful story and believable characters. Somehow, you have managed to seamlessly blend beautiful literary moments with moments of hot sexual passion. Well done.
i find that most authors on this site need a lot more writing to explain characters and the plot, but this story truly suprised me in that u set a great story and explained every detail so perfectly in a short story. im truly impressed and ill be reading more of ure stories thank you. btw i looked up imu on urbandictionary as soon as i saw it because i thought it might be some common knowledge thing i just didnt know, i wish i had taked the time to try and figure it out but i had a good idea what it ment when i first saw it. thanks again
A lot of stories on this site of literary erotica, tend to be clearly and disappointingly a complete mental indulgence, with little or no credible or believable substance.
You have spun a tale that is at once, believable and credible....it is also beautifully constructed and erotically, both sweet and raunchy!
A credit to the erotic fiction art...I sincerely hope we will read more of the pursuits and endeavours of these two siblings.....she has offered to allow another woman...?
That was so amazing. One of the best stories I have ever read. Keep it up.
PacoFear an amazing story to say the least, i had heard of the Imu before but simply because my ex used to do it. otherwise i wouldn't of had a clue..
you put to much effort into explaining her first time and from that point on i saw it was a sham to get her brother there, although a good one i dont know if everyone saw right though it...
i would of liked to see them two confront their mother and see if she accepts to relationship between her children
and yes smart girls do rule :P i cant date dumb ones its just to aonnying
leebrookes@live.com
The first time I read an erotic story of this lentgh, and I was not disappointed. Your writing style amazed me at some points, and clever hints were brought into to the story and referred to later on. I have to admit I didn't have a clue what Imu meant, though I didn't really break my head over it. The moment you described how the word started changing I was asking myself how I could be so stupid. A very good story, thank you!
excellent writing...keeps you hoping for the end to
be as it was...great writer...best i ever read after
That story was amazingly well written, with superb pacing. I was half tempted to skip into the story half-way after reading your introductory blurb. However after reading the first paragraph on page three I quickly changed by mind due to how excellent the writing was. Sometimes I find myself reading a story and grimacing at what I am reading because of errant spelling errors or mistakes with capitalization: I'm very pleased to say that this was not the case at all with your writing. Your writing style is clear and invokes rich imagery. Your characters are believable and do not seem shallow. I made a guess at 'I <3 U' being the meaning of the puzzle early in the story, but I did second guess myself a few times during the reading.
Great read and superb story! One of my favorites I've come across.
Let me just preface this by saying this was an overall good story, very much worth the six chapter long haul. The sex was tastefully descriptive and I loved how the story quickly and sweetly wrapped itself up towards the end. A very satisfying read.
That being said, there were a few places in between where I did have some trouble following positions as you described them. I can recall one instance in the final scene on the beach where an arm or hand was reaching somewhere that I couldn't logically follow based on the descriptions preceding it.
Also, this could just be my personal taste, but some of the dialogue between Lizzie and Richard tended to be a little wordy and slightly awkward. Sometimes, particularly when leading to a more heavier scene, a simple phrase like, "Let's do it." or "Wanna go again?" or simply adding a contraction or two to an otherwise wordy phrase can be all that's required to set the stage for another round of descriptive debauchery.
I'd also cut down on dialogue in mid-scene. In the heat of the moment, especially if the sex or foreplay is particularly good, most people people would be too caught up in what they'd be doing to come up with any sentences consisting of more than just a few words.
Also I'd suggest putting more emphasis on transitions from sex to story. I can recall one instance in chapter 2 or 3 where Richard and Lizzie had just finished, and then literally one line after that they're back out on the beach. A couple lines or two of lingering descriptions of after the sex would do wonders for the overall cohesion of the story.
But like I said in the beginning of this post, this was an overall very good story. I'm very glad and satisfied that I followed this story through to its end.
You've made some. The writing is just brilliant. The pacing, the descriptive language, the incredibly tasteful fashion of an incredibly distasteful (by nature, not in reality) sexual act, all came together wonderfully. Normally I have criticism to give but for the first time on this website I can happily say that I have nothing that needs saying in that department.
With your ability to write, I'm surprised you haven't landed a publisher for something. Look at James Patterson, he spits out the same crap every few months and puts minimal effort into it. If you can do this quality of writing in twice the time, you could easily make twice the money.
All I'm saying is, you've got some serious potential for greatness here.
Just finished reading, and I have to say that was one of the best I've read. The story had a great pace, and the sex was very hot. Good work!
what happens next ?
Bawooooo this chase is won but how about the best out of three.
more, encore 5 *****
Wow, this was an amazing story! At first I was beginning to get bored with it being drawn out. But, something about it caught my interest very quickly. Keep on writing you have a great talent!!! And "imu" I figured it out when she told him she wasn't getting married.
Love your writing style, again. Story line, characters, dialogues are so subtle, so sensitive. I don't care much for the backdoor action, but you can easily get away with that anyway.
Figured out the imu about halfway through the story... but that made the anticipation even better, as well as the satisfaction from being right... Suppose I'm on the same frequency...?
Hope you keep on writing like this, and coming up with new themes like Words on Skin (and all the other clever themes you´ve invented so far)...
Martin
I'm not keen on the incest, but you made it hot stuff. My 87 y.o.cock responded with a continuous hard on, as my mind pictured each activity.
i loved it one of the best writen incest stories i have ever read on this site but now you need to finish u need to make an ending or continue the story im almost begging you here please continue
One of the best stories I've read in quite a while. I would love to see at least a prologue...give us some future incite? How does their relationship turn out? Does their mom ever find out? Etc...
Great story the best single story i have ever read. There should be a sequel where the mom finds out and joins in. ;)
This is simply amazing. Perfect story! I know I'll read this over and over!
This truly was a masterfully done story. You were realistic and compelling and wrote extraordinarily well. I have grown weary of all of the stories riddled with mistakes and that basically amount to "My hot sister wanted me to fuck her with my GIANT cock. I did. The end." Your style was sophisticated and you captured the aspect of the hunt and showed what incremental steps must be taken in any love affair. I did happen to figure out "I 'heart' you" and that there was no Chip, but I am somewhat of a bibliophile (along with several other kinds) and found that it still worked very well. I applaud your work and I thank you deeply for the pleasure of reading it.
Personally, i loved your story.
Seductive and if you think about it, personal.
It's compelling. Just a masterpiece.
One of the better stories I've read on Lit and, by far, the best hook I've found for a story. Thank you!
Honestly, this may be my favorite incest story I've read. I love the way you interwove their backstory with what was developing between them, not to mention your description of Lizzie's predatory competitiveness. Lizzie and Richard's closeness felt authentic, which is really essential with this type of story. Plus, I have a wolf tattoo on my arm because I love them so much, so the howling really tied the story together nicely. A-fucking-plus.
excellent story,took time to read but well worth it,i hope you write lots more.
first off, woot, that was a good story.
secondly, I totally twigged to the imu thing early on. its cool though, i loved it as a plot device. even though i new eventually what it would turn out to be, i kept reading to see if he would figure it out or if she would have to tell him.
Lastly, I really loved the sex scenes. Not a lot of people can write erotic scenes well, but you're definately one of them.
I really enjoyed this story :) You are a gifted writer!
Thanks for writing this^^
Easily the best story I have ever read on this site. Reminded me that amid all the sex, love is one of the most powerful forces a person can encounter, and that it should never be lost in the mix. Very inspiring, very sexy, very, very good.
man you ruined this site for me cause now i know i will never read a story as good as this one EVER!!!! I'm actually in an incest relationship with my little sister right now (and yes shes 18 no one bitch about it) and the way you captured the two loves that sibling and lovers share, and the way they merge into one erotic masterpiece that few people can experience, it was magnificent. You are an amazing artist and i hope you make more works of art.
One of the most erotic I have read. Good read and i wish I was richard
Wow. I really liked this. A lot. Good job. But was wondering... If there is no Chip, does that mean Lizzie her virginity to her brother?
And no the imu had me stumped but when she told him I felt like a turd for not seeing it. Very well written and it was never hurried. longer stories like this are so much better, and so few writers will do it your self and bluedragonauthor are the best I have found so far. Lizzie was explained so well I have a huge crush on the teenage beauty now. I think she reminds me of my much younger sister who was a swim team star. She also has buns of steel. As for the people who do have inter family relationships and are brave enough to mention it on here I say good for you. I would prefer you adopt as opposed to reproduce but real special love is 2 hard to find. No matter where we find it it should be cherished like the gift it is. Work hard, forgive easily and love without reservation.
Thank you for this wonderful story Pacofear
I guessed from the first imu, but i loved seeing it all play out. There is a true and pleasant sophistication to your writing that i enjoy very much. Talent always shines through.
It was a romantic twist on incest, you are a great writer... your story was my guilty pleasure of the week... i got the "imu" thing early in the story, but i'm a girl plus i would do something like that... the only thing i would have changed is i would have made Chip a real character or the mother would have found out...but i like drama
I really liked the romantic twist. Also the imu I can't beleive I didn't figure it out. I assumed he messed up the m with an n from the start the message being I need you or something along those lines. All in all great story dude
You are indeed a great writer. No, I did not figure out IMU until it was explained. I would like to echo the sentiments and opinions that have alreadly been expressed. There are too few writers who will spend the time to set up the story like you have here. You are to be congratulated.
Hope there are more storys on the way.
A really cool story, not overboard on rraw sex; totally believable. Loved it
Siblings ALWAYS love each other, it is just most of them never take it that far ... and I had it almost figured out ... I thought the 3 letters stood for "I'll Marry You" or "I'm Marrying You" both with the understood word "Someday" at the end since she started writing it at such a young age. Then again I thought "I'm Yours" ... Either way I figured out early in the story "Chip" didn't exist or at least not any more.
As for your writing talents I feel they are AWESOME! Your creative imagination and character development are gifts you use to enhance your stories to increase your readers pleasure while slowly pulling them deeper into the story. I found this story almost impossible to in a sense "Lay Down" and when I did have to stop until the next day (because of previous commitments) I found it always just below the surface of my conscious until I could return to finish it.
Please continue to write, I can assure you, your fans will appreciate it.
That was damn good.
Anal usually isn't my cup of tea but... this was just sexy, lovely... wonderful.
The 'imu' mystery I solved... more or less instantly, thanks to a bit of genre savvy, but it did not at all detract from the brother's journey of discovery. Your story delighted me, and I thank you for giving it to us all.
Excellent story. Well written. Well edited. Very hot. Somewhat complicated plot. In all, a great, hot, sexy love story.
I didn't figure out the imu. I thought it was I Miss You, or I'll Marry You or something like that.
I did figure out that Chip was an invention to get her brother to make love with her. That came when Scooter realized that Lizzie hadn't had vaginal sex for awhile, but I sort of suspected it when Lizzie told Scooter about her first time with Chip. It sounded too contrived (I don't mean it sounded contrived on the author's part but on Lizzie's part).
Again, a great story. Thanks.
I was actually proud of myself for figuring out the ending halfway through the story. The imu thing actually came quickly to me and I think that the fact chip didn't exist was kind of obvious if you pay attention.
That was hot the plot was great. I figured imu out the first time it was mentioned. It was easy cuz the shape of an m is almost a heart. Plus my wife says "heart" a lot lol great story.
Like all very good storytellers you are distinguished by the subtle details and even the bits of welcome humor.
The pacing was also a big positive; I've read much shorter things which seemed to drag on like a 20 minute long Saturday Night Live "comedy" sketch. This wasn't brisk--never felt like you'd given up and hurried to a conclusion--you wisely let the story take its own time.
I really envy your skills. Not least the way you handled the dialogue. These seem like real people who have their longings like we all do, and just as in real life there are surprises big and small.
Now I want to read more of your stuff!
A lot of people claim to be morally opposed to incest, but I think it's only wrong when people do it just for the sex. This story was PERFECT! There was enough romance and history to make this seem like one of the few cases where incest should not only be tolerated, but encouraged as the very pentacle of love. I didn't figure out the IMU thing, but it was worked into the story in such a way that I kept coming back to it and trying to figure out what it meant. Way to keep your readers engaged. I'm definitely going to check out some more of your work now.
Totally one of the best stories on this site. Not only does it have excellent sex scenes, its romantic scenes and character development are amazing for this type of work. Congrats! Totally worth my time! ^.^ <3
Without a doubt the best story on this site. I was hooked to the end, not just on the sex but on the story. An excellent brother sister love story. I will look for other stories of yours.
good pacing,,,,,"imu" was an interesting hook, never figured it out,,,,,she made up the fiance,,did not see that coming!! wow!
the sex was incredible,,even the anal,,,and i am not big on anal! but ok for this story.
i had to laugh when he lifted her impaled on his cock and ran to the bath,,,i have done that with a lady who was long,tall and skinny!
and of course a nice romantic ending!! i love good bro/sis incest!!
thanks!!
Jeessuss, what else can one say? BAWOOOO!
Makes me wish I'd had a younger sister.
I have been reading on literotica for nearly 10 years and this story is by far THE BEST story I have ever read on this site. The sex was hot and graphic, but more importantly, it wasn't down and dirty (although those stories are fun too!) it was slow, gentle and ROMANTIC.
I have a firm belief that everyone, ALL OF US, EVERY LAST PERSON ON THIS PLANET wants that kind of love and romance with someone else. Sure, raw raunchy sex is great, don't get me wrong, but what fills that hole in our souls is the kind of love, romance, connection with another human being that you have crreated here.
I salute you wholeheartedly and say BAWOO! to you as well :).
That was one of the best stories I've read on here. And I've been reading for over two years now. Im now stealing the "imu". Good writing. Very good. Thank you for sharing with us.
You are just that, you had us guess wrong all the way through, the sex was hot but believeable, and after it was all said and done none of it seemed smutty or dirt. Excellent Job, I hope you continue writing.
I love it and the details and as you explained, seducing a sibling is dangerous and you have to be patient. Like I'd really try but I just enjoy reading incestuous stories..
I love your story. It's just beautiful.
I figured out Imu the first time it was mentioned
By the way awesome story
Easily one of the best stories that I've read so far. Thank you for a wonderful reading experience.
Of all the longer stories in this category, and the years I have spent reading and critiquing, this is in my top 3. Extremely well written in my eyes. The story contained all the major components and blended perfectly together. The emotions expressed during the sex scenes were humble and deep rooted. While in reality I personally would not attempt incest with my brother, you gave an example of a highly loving relationship that made me say "awwww" at the end. Good job!
This was one of the best pieces of short fiction I've read in a long time, erotic/incest or otherwise. Great character development, great pacing and imagery. It's only "short" for those looking for cheap thrills but for anyone who appreciates good writing...job well done. And I figured imu meant something but I didn't want to guess. I, too, enjoy the slow chase and a great climax :o)
SPOILERS
Paco, I want to say that you have given me the best story I've read on Literotica. Initially, I enjoyed the story, but was kind of disheartened upon learning of this Chip fellow. I'm a guy who loves a bit of romance in everything, so I felt kind of disappointed to know the Richie and Liz's relationship was doomed from the start. Imagine my surprise when Liz said she was not getting married and even more when she said there was no Chip. It was a hell of a happy ending and I LOVE happy endings, especially when it comes to incestual romances. The dialogue was superb and very believable for dialogue between siblings. The emotional scenes were well done too. Liz was an adorable, sexy character and Richie a great brother.
Anyway, I figured out the "imu" midway into the story and audibly "awwed" when I figured it out. In a nut shell, the story was incredible and the only literotica piece I felt strongly enough about to write a message.
Again, thanks for the awesome ride, Paco.
~ErosKnight
I got it the first time it was mentioned but then again im just an analytical mind like that. Great story thanks
wow. . . I honestly have to say. . . I actually cried at the end when she howled into his shoulder. . . that was so heartfelt that I actually shed tears. not a SINGLE story on literotica has managed to do that to me. You sir, are by far the best writer on literotica, hands down. I look forward to more of your stories and plead with you to put just as much heart and soul into them as you did with this. Amazing, breathtaking and beautiful.
Kudos my friend, kudos.
I don't know how else to say it - amazing - simply amazing.
Keep writing, it would be a great loss if you didn't. You are by far the best writer on Literotica.
You for sure have an amazing, beautiful talent and you've used it well.
This is one of the most epic things I've ever read.
P.S. I didn't figure out the whole "IMU" thing until the end. Very clever and sneaky at the same time. :)
This might be the best story I've read on here. The sex was amazing, and the romance was so touching. Honestly, I don't think it would have been as powerful if it wasn't about the forbidden love of the siblings. Damn, you can write...
love this story u are a great writer
not like most lit. story with too much sex and no story to it. please continue it many reader are waiting for the sequel
i thought IMU mean I'll marry u
I figured out the 'IMU' thing between its first and second appearance. Just a consequence of my habit of trying to see the world sideways, I guess.
Beyond that, I enjoyed the 'chase', but could have done with it being much, much, longer. Interesting variation, she chases him until she catches him. I liked that.
Keep writing... :)
i thought it meant 'ill make you...' like when she made him breakfast or 'i missed you'
It's actually the first time I have ever rated or commented a story here on literotica and I've been reading here for a while now. It's the most touching and yet still the most "exciting" story I ever have read here.
Please go on writing such beautiful stories.
(I hope my english was readable or at least understandable)
A german fan says "Vielen Dank!"
I am profoundly surprised at how good a read I happened on in Literotica tonight. It is not my belief that Literotica is filled with bad writers; it is filled with the aspiring, the inexperienced improving their works over time. I can hardly think of a better place for such aspiring writers of erotic content to publish their stories. Thus a great amount of sifting is often required to find a story or series that is not only arousing, but fulfilling in imagination and the magic of listening to, seeing, or reading a good story. I am very happy to have felt that same magic and arousal with your piece, PacoFear. Which is exactly what you promised to deliver in the beginning. Thank you. As a would be aspiring writer that has not yet dipped my metaphorical pen in erotic ink, I may in the future ask your advise or critique. Again, thank you. I will remember this story.
Sincerely,
Mr. Anonymous
I didn't figure it out until you said it on the IMU but I'm not a smart female; or one so they've gotten most beat then. Like when she tells him I love you for example and his comment is okay okay you win you win ... typical guy thing maybe so most might not get the IMU meaning at first.
Excellent store I enjoyed it immensely.
I thought imu meant i'll masterbate you, because of the first part of the story when she said
"Yeah 'sort yourself out' huh?" she snickered, "Okay, but don't overdo it and damage yourself permanently, okay? Someday you may actually find a girl who's willing to touch that thing for you."
the story was awesome i even enjoyed reading after i had cum which is very rare. grammar was great storyline was excellent and the suspense and even the surprise mom was just plain genius
Had no clue what IMU was, and kept wondering until you smacked us in the face with it (hehehe). The intensity of both siblings' love/desire was almost palpable, could not stop reading. Thank you for a HOT and intricate story.
This story was great! I loved it. An when he first started trying to figure out what IMU ment i got really curious and couldnt wait until the end so i looked it up online and the two things that came up were i miss you and i heart you. So i kind of figured it was i heart you since they wernt really missing each other. But the was a really amazing story. I loved it!(:
This is an extremely well-written story, taut with suspense, and hot as hell. You could be writing great novels, but I'm glad you took a little time to write this story. It's my favorite so far on Literotica.