Yellow

"So you have a date with Seth? That's great Reed I'm glad for you," Wes said after I told him what happened. "Do you think maybe it's too soon though? You and Tim just ended a few weeks ago."

"I think its fine timing. You know my rules about sex; we were barley making it to second base. I have to fully trust someone before I take that step." I'd always told my family that I wasn't going to have sex with someone I didn't trust, my reasoning for still being a virgin at twenty-four, Wes lost his virginity at eleven. But the real reason, the only thing that was holding me back, was that I wanted to be in love when it happened. The truth of the matter? I'd never loved any of the guy's I dated. I don't even think I liked them very much. I hated being alone though. Tim had been the only guy so far who'd come close to getting my heart.

"Bro, have you ever trusted any one of your boyfriends?" I shack my head no, wanting to change the subject. It wasn't as if I had lied to them, not really, you have to fully trust someone to be in love with them, at least in most cases right? I knew Wes would see it as a lie though, and I hadn't ever told him an outright lie before. I felt bad, but I was always too embarrassed to fess up to it.

"Well you can trust Seth, right? You have known him for a long time, and he knows your all about serious relationships. I don't think he would have asked you out if he didn't intend to stick around." I smile happily at him maybe his words had truth. I did trust Seth. I'd never let myself think about weather or not I loved him though. Maybe after he and I had been together for a little while I'd decided if it was love or just infatuation.

"Maybe," I agreed then looked around to see if there was any more food left, there wasn't. I started to clear off the coffee table, where we had eaten it, of its' food containers, chopsticks, and fortune cookie wrappers.

"So when's the big day?" Wes stood and went to the frig for a beer.

"Big day?"

"Yeah, the date? When are you going out with him?" I stuffed everything from the table into the trash and then looked at him.

"Um, he didn't really tell me a day," I squeaked out. Wes hiss slightly, but I wasn't sure it was from my words or the beer being cold. "Is that a bad sign?" I asked hurriedly. Wes had been dating sense he was five years old, he knew the ins and outs of relationships better then anyone I'd ever heard of. Also explains why he's still single.

"Well, normally yes, but you do see him everyday, so he might have just wanted to wait till he could look at his day planner. He is a busy man you know."

"Yeah, okay, that makes sense."

We watched a movie on HBO before he left, telling me not to worry, and that he loved me.

Later that night, laying in bed, I willed myself not to think about anything at all. My mind kept rushing thoughts around though. Thoughts about how easily I knew I could fall in love with Seth, a man who had been such a great friend to me for so long. And thoughts about how it was also extremely possible that I'd made the whole thing up in my head. It wouldn't be completely crazy, knowing myself, but it would suck a lot more then I could say.

*******

"I'm here."

"Hello Reed, how was your night?" Seth called from his office. Usually when I got there he would come and meet me at the door, refill his coffee cup and offer me some, even thought he knew I hated coffee. However, that day, he didn't come out. First time in three years.

"Good, Wes came over for a while, watched Mall Rats." I was so nervous, that maybe he'd forgotten about asking me out or something, but I walked over to his open office door anyway. He looked up when he saw me standing there. Seth suddenly felt like a different person to me. Like now, somehow, it was okay for me to imagine what his wavy blonde hair would feel like to touch.

"How is Wes?" Seth had become like a member our family long ago. Mom would call him every few weeks, and invite him to major holidays. He didn't always go but it was nice when he did.

"Good." So when are you going to set a day for our date, I thought. He got up and looked at me smiling. This is it, I bubbled happily to myself, smiling back. He walked right past me and over to the small corner table, just out side his office that held the coffee maker and refilled his mug.

"Could you send those files from yesterday to my computer please?" he gestured toward my computer. I nodded. "Thanks." With that, he moved back to his office. Okay maybe that wasn't it. Maybe he wanted to wait until the end of the day, like on the way out or something. Maybe he's going to invite me out to lunch with him that would be nice.

Lunch came and went; he didn't leave his office once. When five o'clock rolled around, I heard him moving around his office, as I too got ready to leave. I usually wait until he leaves and lock up after I make sure he shut his computer down, sense he forgot to do that sometimes.

"Have a good night Reed," was all he said when he rushed out the door and on to the street. A fuzzy gray tint set in to objects as I moved to close his office door.

"Too good to be true I guess," I said to the now locked front door.