Yin / Yang

I've got to get more sleep. In the last few weeks Nina hadn't one night alone in bed. Not once. Every night Deline had been with her and every night they spent hours fucking each others brains out.Well mostly me fucking her brains out. Maybe tonight we'll take a break from it. Nah!

Turning her chair she looked out over the front lawn of the manor and watched a gentle breeze flow through the trees.Autumn will be here soon.Maybe I can take Deline and go for a long drive somewhere. Just take a weekend and disappear, no manor, no studio, no people at all, just the two of us.

Stepping up she opened the window to let the gentle breeze enter the room.Oh that feels good, the cool air danced across her face as she gazed at the beautiful day before her.Good thing I left that contract at the studio after all, I could really use the time alone on the drive. Nina walked out from behind her desk grabbed a set of car keys off a hook on the wall and left the manor.

Fate is a fickle mistress though and as she left the room, a quick puff of air from the open window nudged a small stack of papers off her desk and scattered them about the room for all to see...

*

Deline watched from her room as Nina pulled out of the driveway and sped off in the direction of the studio. The last several weeks had been wonderful. Each night she'd fall asleep in Nina's arms after a marathon session of love making and every morning she'd awake to Nina lying next to her, softly breathing as she slept. She'd lean over kiss her gently on the cheek and put her arm around Nina's waste and drift back to sleep for a few more minutes. Her dreams though were beginning to worry her. Each night they'd gotten more intense and last night was the most so far. In it she'd been on the endless road as before, but this time the grass was so tall as to be a forest that she couldn't see or hear where the voice came from. It was as if something were enveloping her, trying to smother her.

Grabbing her sandals she left her room and wandered down to the first floor of the manor.I need a walk is all,she thought. As she passed Nina's office near the front door, she looked in and saw a pile of papers scattered across the floor. Peeking in she saw that the curtains were rustling and that Nina had left the window open. Walking over to the window she closed it and then knelt down and began picking up the scattered papers. As she gathered the papers one caught her eye and she paused to read it.

You are cordially invited to witness the marriage of Tom Andersen and Sarah Trueblood at the Church of the Holy Trinity at 3pm this the 25^th day of May.

Reception to follow at the Oakwood Country Club.

Deline dropped the papers in her hands save the invitation and continued to stare emotionless.Yes that's right our Tom, a voice said. Suddenly she felt dizzy and before she could catch herself she collapsed in a heap to the floor.

...

She was running this time, harder than she'd ever run before. The grass was as tall as trees and over hung the road, but still sunlight showed through the canopy.Got to reach the wall. I have to escape. Suddenly there she was standing before herself in the road.

Hello Deline, she said.

What do you want?

I want you. I am you and you are me and soon we will be one again.

How? We can't be one again. You let go! I know I watched you leave!

You were right I needed to leave, to rest, to understand and now the time has come for both of us to stop running and be one again. Come here. Come to me.

No, I can't! I won't! I love Nina and I don't want to lose her! I love the life we have together. I love her!

You won't lose her, because I now share your love for her as well. Remember we are one in the same and always have been.

But how?

Trust me like I trusted you.

Deline hesitated at first, but slowly she approached the other Deline. They embraced in a tight hug and as they parted slightly the first Deline leaned in and embraced the new Deline in a passionate kiss. As they kissed the world around them changed, as they began to meld into one person, becoming whole again after so many years apart. After a moment, for the first time in many years there was only one Deline again and this time she knew who she was. Suddenly the wall that had always eluded her before was right there in front of her. A small wooden gate blocked the road where it crossed over.

Stepping forward she approached the gate and opened it. Stepping thru she finally felt complete, one soul, one spirit.

...

Ow! My head! Deline looked up to find herself on the couch in Nina's office with Cathy looking over her, a concerned look on her face. Suddenly she sat upright knocking Cathy off her feet and bolted thru the door. Cathy fell backwards knocking her head on the desk, becoming momentarily stunned, unable to pursue. She ran, she had to get away, to think,Someplace quiet and alone. Running down a hallway she spied a door she'd never used before and quickly opened it and then quietly closed and locked it behind her. Before her were a set of stairs leading to a basement level of the manor. Even though in recent memory she'd never been down here before, they seemed oddly familiar. Cautiously she descended the stairs after finding a light switch on the adjacent wall. Tears began to flow down her face as she remembered what had happened to her prior to her awakening just over a year ago. She remembered the pain and agony of her first session as Nina's whip had caressed her flesh. The immense pain of being forced to stand for hours with no sleep for days, the humiliation of being bound naked and blind with no possibility of escape. She stumbled as she followed the hallway to a door, her vision blurred from the flood of tears and emotion.

Gently she opened the door and stepped into the room. She knew this room. This was where it all began. Crossing to the pole she leaned against it, hugged it, embraced it, as she slid down its length to the floor and squatted against its base. She remembered all of it and with all of it she wept...

2

Nina raced back to the manor. The frantic call from Cathy had her worried as they had searched the manor and could find no sign of Deline anywhere within. A tear fell from her eye as she now knew for certain that Deline was not just a slave or a sub to her, but her lover and the love of her life, someone for whom she had been searching for and in need of for so many years.

Downshifting she leaned into the door as the sports car hugged the curve, threatening to slide off the road and into the ravine below.Faster! Faster! Nina's heart raced as she drove hoping against hope that whatever happened Deline hadn't left... yet. Nina didn't think she could bear the loss and fought not only the racing machine she was driving, but her frantic emotions as she tried to keep her concentration on getting home alive.

Fish tailing into the drive she upshifted through every gear before coming to a screeching to a stop in front of the manor's main entrance. Leaping from the car she burst through the door and nearly knocked Cathy over for a second time.

"MISTRESS!" Cathy exclaimed.

"Calm down Cathy. Have you found her yet?" The desperation in Nina's voice cut the thick torrent of emotion as she grasped Cathy by her upper arms.

"No mistress. We were about to check the basement level when you arrived, but the door is locked. When I found her she was in your office lying on the floor. Mistress she was holding on to this", Cathy held out the invitation to Tom and Sarah's wedding.

Oh god! No, please, no. Nina steadied herself as she took the crumpled paper from Cathy. Even though the wedding was months ago Nina hadn't thrown out the invite and now it had come back to haunt her.It must have gotten lost in that stack of papers. She didn't even attend the wedding, choosing instead to send a small gift. She had no desire to see Sarah and be reminded of what Nina had done for her.

"Let me." Nina had a sudden feeling where Deline might be and hoped that she was wrong about what was happening.

Nina went to the basement door and using a spare key she retrieved from a key box she carefully opened it and quietly descended the stairs, her stomach turning itself in knots. She wiped her eyes only to see mascara smeared across them.I must look like shit, she thought.I know I feel like shit.

As she wandered down the hallway she saw a light coming from the room at the very end. She new that room all too well...

*

Deline sat leaning against the pole her back to the door. She rubbed her hands together as she thought about how her life had changed over the past year or so. Prior to her encounter with Nina she'd been a staunch opponent of anything supporting gay rights and a fervent believer in a Christian God. Now those beliefs were in tatters and she wanted nothing to do with them. She never thought she could love another person the way she used to love Tom, but again she realized that hadn't been love at all. Merely part of the elaborate charade she'd been taught all those years that family was a man, a woman, two kids, a dog and a house. The idea of the 'nuclear' family had been drilled into her head from day one and now what she felt in her heart ran contrary to everything she was brought up to believe.

She heard the basement door open, heard the light tapping of footsteps on the stairs as someone descended. Wiping her hands on her shirt she tried to calm herself before the storm of emotions building inside her.

The footsteps stopped.

"Deline, I..."

Before Nina could finish the statement Deline raised her hand to cut her off. She sat still with her back to the door as she stumbled to find the words.

"Don't! Don't patronize me with some sob story about why you did it! You bitch! How could you? How could you do that to someone? To me!"

"Deline, ple-ase let me ex-plain." For the first time since she had met Nina, Deline heard something she'd never heard before. Nina's voice cracked. That steady rock hard, commanding voice had stumbled.She hadn't planned for this to happen.

Deline turned to face Nina and what she saw shocked her. Nina looked like someone had punched her repeatedly from the way her mascara had run down her face. Her clothes were a mess and her usually neat and tidy hair was a mess as well.

"Deline, I won't. " Nina paused to take a deep breath, "Deline, I love you. I've loved you since the first day I set eyes on you, but I didn't know it. You make me whole for the first time in my life. I couldn't bear..."

Deline raised her hand again to cut her off. "No" was all she could muster as she rose to her feet and stepped towards the door.

Nina's eyes went wide, the worst possible scenario was playing out before her and for once she was completely unprepared to fight the battle. She fell to her knees, hands on the floor as she cried, "Please no, don't leave..." came a soft plea from her lips as she pleaded with Deline not to go.

Deline stepped past the now prostrate woman and as she exited the room Nina desperately clung to the very last words she thought she'd ever here from Deline ever again, "I loved you."

With those final words she walked down the hall, climbed the stairs and left the manor.

Nina rolled to her side and cried aloud for the first time in years. Cried for the pain she felt and for the pain she'd caused. Cried for the damage she'd wrought and the chaos she'd inflicted. After awhile the tears no longer flowed, but the pain remained. She rose up and retreated to her bedroom where she cleaned herself up and climbed into bed emotionally exhausted.If I could just sleep... Sleep never came though as her mind could think of nothing save the one person that had made her the happiest in years was now gone and possibly for good. And for that she wept...

3

As Deline walked out Cathy gazed at her with a blank stare of complete disbelief. Deline walked out front and seeing the car parked in the driveway she looked inside to see the keys already there. Climbing in she started the car and left the manor unsure what to do next.

Turning out of the manor, she drove west, away from the manor, away from the pain, away from... away from... Nina. The very thought made her winch as she drove.I loved her. How could she have done all this to me?Before she knew it she was on the interstate and picking up speed.

*

After a couple hours the sun was low on the horizon as Deline continued her westward trek. She spied an exit for a nearby lakeside park and decided to stop for the night.Some rest would be good.Turning off the interstate she followed the signs to the park and after finding a parking spot she settled back to get some sleep. Trouble was she couldn't sleep. All she could think about was Nina. The softness of her lips, the gentle touch of her hands, the taste of her flesh...

Stop it! She took everything!Deline struggled against the flood of emotions within her. She desperately wanted to hate Nina for what she'd done, but she also desperately loved her in a way she'd never loved anyone else before. Nina made her one again, made her understand her life for the first time since before she married Tom.Tom. There's a bastard if ever there was one.She thought back to how she could have missed his philandering ways. The signs were there all along, the late nights at the office, emergency trips out of town, having to work a lot of weekends, etc.How could I not have seen it?

Taking a deep breath she exited the car and walked down to the waters edge. She found a picnic table and sitting on the table top she watched as the sun began to gently touch the horizon.Who was this Sarah person?Suddenly Tom and Nina didn't matter.Was she the one who put this wheel in motion?

Leaning back on the table she stared upwards as the stars slowly appeared in the night sky, as if forcing the sun to slowly surrender its hold for another day.So many questions...She knew who had the answers, she just wasn't ready to go back and face her just yet.What do I want?This question burned in her mind until the stars had at last wrested control of the sky from the sun, giving way to the night. With a fleeting glimpse she fell asleep to the gentle sounds of the night.

...

She stood in a field of tall grain as far as the eye could see in all directions, the sun high overhead illuminating a brilliant blue sky. Looking around she picked a direction and began walking. Her hands gliding over the tops of the grain as it tickled her palms. At last a large house appeared on the horizon. As she got closer she could see fruit trees scattered to one side and a rose vine covering a trellis on the other. As she approached she saw someone tending the roses, but just as she got close enough to see them the house suddenly was aflame and the person tending the flowers was gone as the roses burned.

...

*

Deline awoke to the sound of various creatures croaking and chirping about her. She shivered as she realized she'd run out of the house wearing nothing but shorts, sandals, and a long sleeve shirt. She looked up just as morning twilight was appearing. A light fog danced about the lake as the last question from the night became the first of the morning.What do I want? I want Nina. I need Nina.She now knew she couldn't hate Nina, wouldn't hate Nina. That Nina needed her as much as she needed Nina.

Leaping from the table she ran to the car, keying the ignition the beast roared to life spewing dust and rocks as she punched the gas and sped away, a plan for her desires already sprouting and growing as she made the long trek back to the manor and Nina.

4

The embers glowed a faint orange as the fire slowly died before her. Nina sat curled up on the chair near the bedroom fireplace. A blanket covered her legs as she stared blankly at the dying fire. Her eyes were swollen and her voice raspy from crying.The fire's dying... like my heart. I need her here. Nina closed her eyes and imagined Deline's touch on her face, the taste of her lips, the soft caress of her breath as she cuddled behind her on the bed.

Opening her eyes she saw a shape standing in the doorway and at first she thought it was Cathy or Eve, but instead what she saw was beyond belief.Deline!

"Wait" Deline said.

Nina didn't move, couldn't move. All she could do was stare in amazement that Deline had come back.Comeback to her!

"Why?" was all Nina could muster.

"Remember the last thing I said before I left?" Nina thought back to that painful moment from yesterday. How could she forget, the image was burned on her memory, she had but to close her eyes and it would replay instantly as a painful reminder.

"It's true and then some." Deline slowly entered the room and approached Nina. She stood next to the chair and with one hand steadied herself and with the other reached down and caressed Nina's cheek. Nina reached up and took hold of Deline's hand and held it to her face for what seemed an eternity, her tears slowly soaking the soft flesh.

"I was angry, but most of all afraid. It hurt to know that the woman I had grown to love was also the one who had trapped me, but it also made me afraid to know that I might lose you."

Kneeling next to Nina, Deline spoke softly, lovingly, "I can't live without you, but I also can't go forward unless we end the charade. I need to know that we're equals in this partnership. I don't want to be beneath you 'so to speak'", both women chuckled through the tears at this last thought, but the sentiment was there.

"Well actually I do, but there's time for that as well." Deline paused as she stared into Nina's eyes, watching tears pool at the edges.

"Yes" Nina's voice was hoarse from the emotional ride she'd taken in the last twenty-four hours. "Yes on one condition. Marry me. Stay with me forever Deline. I thought I'd lost you once, I couldn't bare the thought of losing you again."

"I do and I will, but you need to tell me everything. I need to know what happened and why. Why did you kidnap me? Who put you up to it? As I look back now, I don't think you'd have done it at random or voluntarily, so someone had to have to have put you up to it." Deline moved to sit on the floor in front of Nina and placed her head in Nina's lap. Nina couldn't look at her and turned her head away as she began to run Deline's hair through her fingers.

She felt ashamed now for what she'd done and who she'd become, but she also knew if she wanted to keep Deline she had to clear her soul of this wrong. Taking a deep breath to steady herself she spoke, "It was Tom and Sarah. Tom had been seeing an old 'acquaintance' of mine, Sarah, for about a year, maybe two. I owed her for something from our shared past where her family had helped me out of a legal jam. While Sarah's family wasn't rich they were politically savvy and knew where the bodies were buried, so to speak and they used that clout to save my ass." Nina paused to gather more thoughts before continuing.

"Well she thought Tom was a great find, but knew the only way to have him for her own was to get rid of you. Problem was you'd get half of everything in a proper divorce, but if you were the one seen as cheating, well then he'd get everything and you'd wind up with nothing. Trouble was you'd still be around to make a stink so my arm was twisted to break your spirit and make you my slave, thereby getting you out of the way. The added bonus was your being humiliated publicly since you were a passionate defender of the 'Defense of Marriage Amendment' to the county charter. Thank god it failed. Turns out the voters in this county have a brain after all."