You Could've Heard a Pin Drop

"Yeah, but what did you do when you got home?" I asked with a nasty look.

Jackie was shocked and threw my keys at me. "Fuck you Jake," she yelled and turned to enter her apartment.

"I'm sorry," I shouted at her. "That was uncalled for and I apologize. Please come back and let's settle this." I realized that I had stepped over the line with that last comment.

She calmed down and said, "I don't understand why you got so upset. I told you it was an emergency situation."

"No Jackie. An emergency is when Bill calls and says he cut off a finger or hand, please come take me to the hospital. An emergency is when he calls and says he's fallen and broken his leg and needs your help. Those are emergencies; Bill needing a date is not an emergency." I got out and stood in front of Jackie.

"Don't you understand? When you broke our date to go out with him, no matter what the reason, you were saying that I didn't count with you as much as he does. I wasn't very happy that you were dating other guys anyway and then you tell me that I'm not important enough for you to keep your date with me." I hadn't realized until just then how hurt I had been by Jackie's actions. The anger I knew about but the hurt was a surprise.

Jackie apologized again and she got me to talk some more. She finally got me to go inside for coffee. Then she talked me into staying for dinner. I didn't leave again until the next morning. Yeah I know I'm a wimp. What can I say? I was about half ass in love with her and when she came out of her room wearing nothing but high heels, my little head took control. Jackie hadn't changed in the three weeks that I hadn't seen her; she was still a sexual dynamo.

The Army and then the construction crews taught me a lot. They taught me a good work ethic, they taught me to do the job right and they taught me to be dependable. They didn't teach me how to deal with women. So I took her back.

Jackie and I become exclusive or were going steady or whatever you want to call it. We didn't date other people. This continued for about six months. She never broke another date with me, but there were a few nights that she couldn't go out. She was visiting her mother or having a girl's night out or some other innocent sounding reason.

Jackie and I didn't move in together but spent very few nights apart. I thought if this is what married life is like, I'm all for it. I bought an engagement ring and proposed to her in Kelly's after a movie. Not the most romantic setting but Jackie must have liked it. She said yes through her tears. We planned to get married in three months and I was looking forward to being a family and maybe having kids.

The month after I proposed I began to hear little things concerning Jackie. On more than one occasion a couple of the guys that I worked with would kid me about Jackie and me having an open relationship. I took it all as a joke until Rose saw me at Kelly's one night and sat down to talk to me. Jackie was on one of her girl's nights and I was there alone.

Rose is a friend and is Jeff's sister; Jeff is one of the guys I work with and a good friend. I had dated Rose a few times before I started dating Jackie. Rose is a good looking gal but there wasn't a spark there so we decided to be buddies.

"Where's Jackie tonight?" Rose asked with more than normal curiosity.

"Hey Rose. She's out with some girls from the bank again. I think I'll have to put a stop to that after we're married." I laughed.

"Jake, you better check your woman. She's doing stuff that an engaged girl shouldn't be doing," Rose sadly told me.

"What are you talkin about Rose?" Normally I don't pay any attention to gossip or rumors, but Rose was a close friend.

She hesitantly told me that three or four times in the last two months she had seen Jackie at Bailey's and she wasn't alone. Rose told me that Jackie was sitting with a good looking, well dressed guy and they seemed to be more than casual acquaintances.

This guy and Jackie would dance very close and seemed to be really into each other. Rose said that they didn't do anything raunchy but she didn't think it would pass the boyfriend test.

"I'm sorry as hell Jake, but you're my friend and I don't like seeing you get screwed over," Rose finished.

I thanked Rose, finished my drink, and left. If it had been anybody other than Rose, I would have just brushed it off. It was only about 10 PM and I wondered if I should check up on Jackie. I remembered Jackie's emergency date with Bill and the fact that her nights out with the girls didn't start until we got back together.

Before I knew it I was in Bailey's parking lot; I guess I had made the decision to check up on her. Bailey's is a large club on the other side of town. Inside the place a bar ran down one wall separated from the tables around the dance floor by a chest high divider. The place was fairly crowded for a week night but I found a place at the bar where I could see the dance floor.

It didn't take long to spot Jackie; she had just finished dancing and came back to a table with several other people at it. There were two guys at the table; three counting the guy that Jackie had been dancing with. Mostly it was girls that Jackie worked with. Nothing wrong with that I thought; man was I wrong.

Jackie and her dance partner sat down side by side at the table. The guy said something to Jackie, put his arm around her, and pulled her to him. She smiled at him and kissed him. It wasn't a peck on the cheek but a full fledged, stick your tongue down the throat kiss.

Jackie was wearing a little summer dresser held up by two straps leaving her shoulders almost bare and showing a lot of cleavage. After the kiss the guy hand was sort of hanging over her shoulder and his fingers would brush the top of her breast now and then. Jackie was rubbing his leg and appeared to love the attention.

Rose was right; Jackie's actions wouldn't pass the boyfriend test.

Finishing my drink, I pushed myself off the bar and started toward Jackie and her friend. I had no intentions of starting trouble but I wasn't going to put up with this shit. Our engagement was over and I wanted my ring back, at least that's what I told myself. But I also hoped that her buddy and/or his two friends would want to get involved. That would be just fine with me.

Just before I rounded the room divider, my friend Jeff stepped in front of me. He grabbed my arm and tried to pull me away toward the door. I shook his hand off and turned back toward Jackie and her friends.

"Jake, don't," Jeff said. "If you go over there will be trouble and you don't need it."

"I'm not going to start anything. I just want my ring back from that bitch and I'm going to get it. No trouble, I'll just get my ring and tell Jackie that we're over," I explained.

"Bullshit. Your eyes have that crazy look in them. If you go over there one of those guys will say something and all hell will break loose. They'll end up in the hospital if their lucky and you'll end up in jail; maybe for a long time. You don't' need that."

I listened to Jeff and then started to push by him saying, "Stay out of it Jeff. If I have to put you down to get around you I will."

He shook his head, stepped back and said, "I can't believe that you're going to let that cheating bitch ruin your life. You're an idiot, go ahead."

I stepped around Jeff and found Rose standing in my way.

"Are you going to put me down too, Jake? That's what you'll have to do because I'm not letting you go to jail tonight." Rose stared at me defiantly with her hands on her hips. "I knew you would come here, I could see it in your eyes. I called Jeff and we decided to follow you and keep you out of trouble."

I hesitated and stared back at Rose. If the situation hadn't have been so sad, it would have been funny. This little girl about 5 feet 6 standing in front of this 6 foot 4 behemoth; trying to stop him from making a bad mistake.

It's nice to have good friends. Rose had shocked me into thinking and not reacting. She and Jeff were right, if I went over there someone was going down.

Jeff and Rose convinced me to confront Jackie in a more private setting, preferably when she was alone. Good idea, I knew I would never physically harm Jackie and I could get my ring back. That was cut in stone, I wanted my ring and I wanted shed of Jackie.

On my way home the more I thought about it, the more I didn't want the situation to continue any longer than necessary. I drove to Jackie's place and parked a couple of houses away to wait for her. She shouldn't be very late because she had to work tomorrow.

If she came home alone, I would get my ring and tell her to go to hell. If she came home with that guy and he wanted to get involved, that was his problem. Either way, it would be settled tonight.

About midnight a car parked in front of her apartment and Jackie and the dude from the club got out. They walked hand in hand to her door. Jackie turned to say good night and in the next minute they were making out.

There was no doubt, they were swapping tongues and grinding against each other. If it's possible to fuck with your clothes on, those two were doing it. After five minutes or so, Jackie pushed him away, smiled, and said something to him that made him laugh. She unlocked her door and turned back toward him.

Some guys would have went belly up and been all torn up by seeing what they were doing. Some guys would wait and get pictures or other evidence to use in confronting their cheating partners. And some guys would do what I did.

I didn't hesitate and went right to Jackie's door. They didn't notice me at first and then Jackie looked over the guy's shoulder and saw me. She let out a small scream and stepped further away from her friend. Of course I heard the classic line.

"Jake, what are you doing here?"

"I'm breaking up with my lying, cheating, whore of a fiancée. I'll take my ring back bitch." I grabbed her hand and pulled off the engagement ring. Then I heard the rest of the clichéd lines.

"Wait! It's not what it looks like. Bill's just a friend. We weren't doing anything. It doesn't mean anything," Jackie said.

"Bullshit. I saw you and your "friend" at Bailey's Jackie." Her eyes got big and she put her hands up to her face. "Yeah, that's right; I saw the kissing, hugging, and his hand on you. I saw you stroking his leg and loving the attention. I also saw the make out session just now."

As I finished talking to Jackie, Bill put his hand on my arm and told me to get away from her.

"Billy Boy, you wouldn't be here unless she invited you, so I'll give you one warning. Take your hand off me and stay out of this," I told him.

He braced himself to come after me, but before he could do anything Jackie stepped in between us. "Bill, please leave. Don't make things any worse," Jackie pleaded with him.

He stepped back and walked toward his car. "I'll call you tomorrow Jackie," he said, smiling at me.

"Don't leave on my account Billy Boy. Stay, go inside and finish what you two started at the door," I told him. I turned to Jackie and said, "It doesn't matter to me because we're done Jackie.

I walked past Bill and started toward my truck. Jackie was following me crying and trying to get me to talk to her. I never said a word went to my truck, and drove off. Two or three blocks away I had to stop because I was shaking so bad. The anger was boiling inside of me and I needed to calm down before I drove into a tree or ran over someone.

After ten minutes or so, I restarted the truck and headed back to Jackie's. Why I did it, I can't explain but I had to know if Bill stayed or left. I drove past Jackie's and his car was gone. For some reason that made me feel better.

I know it's a cliché but it's true anyway. If you love someone you can't turn it off like a beer tap; no matter what they have done. You may hate them, but you hate them because you love them. I guess that's why I felt better when Bill didn't spend the night at Jackie's.

****************

So here I sit in Kelly's as I finish my Jack Daniels and trying to decide which hospital to give my business to. I promised the EMT that I would go and besides my nose was starting to hurt and my eye was swelling up.

Jackie had called several times after that night at her door, but I refused to talk to her. She would say we needed to talk and I would say no we don't and hang up. I guess she got the message after eight or nine times. That's when she started to come to Kelly's.

Two nights after the dust up, I was in Kelly's having my usual and showing off the stitches over my eye and the bandage on my nose. I was still depending on Jack Daniels to help me get through the nights.

There weren't a lot of people in the bar, maybe 20 or so regulars but it got really quiet all at once. It was the old "you could've heard a pin drop" scenario all over again. I looked into the mirror behind the bar and saw Jackie standing behind me. Oh shit, not again I thought.

"Jake please talk to me," Jackie pleaded. "If you will just talk to me for a few minutes I promise I won't come into Kelly's anymore, if that's what you want."

"Okay Jackie, grab a booth. I'm going to get another drink and then I'll come and talk to you. You want something?"

After getting my drink and a white wine I slid into the booth across from Jackie and said, "By the way, where's Billy Boy? Didn't he want to come with you?" I asked with dripping sarcasm

She smiled a little and answered, "No, he said he never wanted to see you again. I think you destroyed his confidence in his black belt. It was a mistake to bring him with me, but I thought it might goad you into talking to me. Guess I was wrong, huh?"

"You wanted to talk so talk. Let's get this over with." I wanted to get away from her because I didn't want her to see how much I was hurting.

Jackie started with the clichés again. I'm sorry, it didn't mean anything, it wasn't what it looked like and it's you I love. I listened to her spout all the usual bullshit until she wound down after about five minutes.

"Enough! First, you don't cheat on or lie to someone you love. I'll tell you what it looked like. At the club, it looked like you were lovers. At your door, it looked like you two were humping each other like dogs in heat. That's what it looked like. And it did mean something, it meant everything to me. It meant that the woman I loved, my fiancée, the woman I was going to spend the rest of life with was a cheating bitch. No don't start crying now; it's too late for that bullshit."

Jackie had started to cry, loudly. She got control of herself and I continued.

"I was told by several people that you were out partying with some guy on you girl's nights out, but I didn't believe the rumors and gossip. I didn't want to believe that my lady would do that. It wasn't until a close friend told me she saw you that I knew you were cheating." I stopped to take a drink and Jackie jumped in.

"But I didn't cheat. I didn't sleep with Bill; we just danced and fooled around a little. Maybe I did let things go too far that night, but I wasn't going to sleep with him. I wasn't Jake," she told me.

"It isn't just the night that I caught you, although that's a big part of it. You used your girl's nights as an excuse to spend time with Bill and lied to me about it. The first time you lied to me, you cheated. The first time you let him hold you too close as you danced, you cheated. The first time you hugged him or the first time you kissed him, you were cheating." Now I was the one that had to get control of myself; I was getting mad all over again.

"The fact that you didn't sleep with him doesn't change the fact that you were cheating Jackie. I believe that you would have screwed him if things kept on the way they were. The next time you probably would have invited Bill in. Let me ask you something. If you had known I was at Bailey's would you have still acted the way you did with Bill? If I had been at your door would you still have had the make out session that I saw?

Jackie hung her head for a few seconds and then looked over at me. "No, I wouldn't have done any of that if you had been there. It wouldn't have been right and you wouldn't have liked it."

"Then what makes you think it was alright to do that shit behind my back?" I stopped waiting for an answer but she couldn't or wouldn't give me one.

"Okay Jackie, we've had our talk and nothing has changed. You say you love me; well that's your misfortune. I still love you and that's my cross to bear. At least until I can get you out of my heart. Now, I expect you to keep your promise and stay out of Kelly's. Good bye Jackie."

I got up and went back to the bar. Kelly saw me coming and had another drink waiting for me. It took a few minutes but Jackie got up walked past me and out the door. I never saw her or Bill again. I heard later that she quit her job at the bank and moved to the west coast, alone.

******************

Two years have passed since Jackie and I broke up. I still go into Kelly's almost every night, but most of the time I drink club soda or coffee. The Jack Daniels still gets poured for me but only on the weekends and then with moderation. I found I didn't need it after Jackie and I talked that night.

Do I miss her? I certainly miss the sex; she was the best I've ever had before or since. The idea of "us", a family, and the life with someone you love is what I miss.

Am I bitter? No, I don't think so. I still want to get married and have a family but none of the ladies I've met and bedded have touched me in that way. But I keep looking.

I'm still working construction, but I'll have to get out of it in the near future. I fell off a scaffold about a year ago and messed up my knee big time. Right now I can keep working but there will come a time that the knee won't hold up to the abuse.

My brother came home about six months ago with a bum leg; it got shot up in some shit hole third world country. He uses a cane to help him walk but that's okay. James won't have far to walk behind the bar.

You see Kelly wanted to retire so James and I bought the bar. Between the two of us we were able to come up with most of the cash and Kelly financed the rest of it. Maybe I can get into the office and do construction planning or scheduling but even if I can't I'll be okay with my share of the bar. I'm already cutting back on expenses at the bar because I don't have to hire a bouncer.

So here I am, starting a new career and looking for the right woman. In the mean time as an English friend of mine says, life goes on.