All Comments on 'Yours Ch. 04'

I love your stories. It's not about me getting off or anything like that. I just find these stories incredibly relatable and highly enjoyable. Please continue and don't wait so long between updates.

I enjoy this series very much. As the previous commenter said it's not only about getting off, but down to it being an excellent story. I like the characters and I can't wait to see where you're going to take them. Please don't wait so long before updating!

I really, really, REALLY enjoyed this chapter. Both characters develop right in front of our eyes - awesome writing. And HOT!

Well done :-)

I can't really say much more than that. Your characters practically fly off the page. I feel like I know Steven. I hope that it doesn't end here. Perhaps a college angle to it next?

NT

I am beyond in love with your writing, and this captivating story you've created for us. I am so in love with your characters, but I am completely taken with Jessica, and found myself really feeling for her at the end of this chapter. I understand Steven's feelings, and you've done an excellent job fleshing out how/why he feels so conflicted about her, but it still crushed me all the same. I just wish he was willing to put the past behind him, and realize the Jessica he has now is the real one, not the stereotypical bitch he remembers from his childhood. We all have the capacity to be the bully and the nerd, and most of have been on both sides at one point. I think he's in dangerous territory now, and she could easily become a stereotypical sex slave, with no self respect if he doesn't treat her as if she's worthy of it. I really hope that doesn't happen, and you keep the Jessica we know and love, with her playful and sexy spark, intact! I am intrigued about what her smirking and disobedience at the end of the chapter was about. I also think he needs to go on a date or two with Becky, and realize that what he has with Jessica is beyond the norm, and how he's incredibly lucky to have her. I'm hoping some experience will show him that whether he wants to or not, he's clearly falling for Jessica too.

OK, rant over. Sorry, but you completely crushed me with Jessica feels at the end. Haha. I am usually all for crazy twists and plots, but this story has me DYING for a good, old fashioned, happy ending. I am so excited to see where you take this story, and I am off to do a second and third, and probably fourth read through. Job well done!!!!

i clicked on this story randomly ... i can see it's the fourth chapter, but it's the first i've read. i'm totally blown away by the way your words create images and sensations and emotions. this is the most stunning read i've had in a long time, very powerful indeed.

What the title says, it was well worth waiting. I love your story and the work you put into it, I can't wait to read the next chapter in Jessica and Steven's deepening relationship. Keep up the excellent work.

i cant wait for the next update i love everythin bout this story

what a great chapter. i was a bit upset by the length because it didn't feel as conclusive as the other chapters. there's a new spark in Jessica that didn't really get resolved, despite her little confession, and it's a cliffhanger type of development that makes me want the next chapter so bad. not sure where this is going - but i do hope jessica stays a submissive and doesn't play stupid emotional games that high school kids do just to get steven's attention. i don't know why her little confession fell false to me, it wasn't as real as her other confession. maybe because she didn't say i love you this time.

or maybe im just more interested in this story beyond sex. i can't wait for them to get caught or found out!

Awesome, but I was waiting for more character development on Stephen's part. He came across as so emotionally immature in this chapter. I'm so glad you uploaded this, I've been checking the site every day!!! Please don't leave it too long before the next one. I know it sounds weird, but I find the emotionally story line fat more intriguing than the fuckfest (unless they're intertwined, then bonus!) and I hope the next chapter has more character stuff. Maybe rose will find out? Maybe Stephen will get over his hatred? Can't wait

I've read all 4 chapters and you've been consistently excellent. Very well written, conveying the emotions and dept of the characters. I still feel like this is the beginnings and I really hope this series never ends! Interesting seeing the blossoming of a Dom right before my eyes:)

Good lord!! I have no idea where to start from.. This story is mind blowing. The slow start, the intense love making in the middle and the kinda emotional ending.. All can be summarised in one word.. AMAZING!!

I teared up in the end.. When he tells he still hates her.. But that was expected.. I wonder what that one thing is where she crossed the line... Her cruelty reached its peak.. Cuz I feel that is the clue to earn his forgiveness.. Whatever she did, she has to make up for it..

I am musing.. All in all the love making is the most hottest and intense I have read online. Once again you manage to express the inside of a Dom's thoughts perfectly. I found it sweet that he lost his erection when Jessica fainted. Shows that, he hates her, but along with the hate there is actual care and affection.. Waiting for him to realise that.. And waiting for that moment when he will actually be able to forgive her..

Please continue, and please try to update sooner. The story is getting intense... And it gets more and more difficult to wait.. Btw, was Jessica smiling in the end cuz he actually talked about himself with her?? As in normally, all they talk about is about sex and dominance right.. Not about him..

Anyhow, this is getting long.. Will be waiting for your next update, please dont take this long this time..

Once again, you have written another great chapter. It did seem to lack the amount of significant events to the plot line as a whole as compared to the other chapters though. Would love to see the secret get out soon!

Still one of the best stories I've ever read. Keep up the good work, its been worth the wait :)

So worth the wait. This series is absolutely fantastic! Thank you for the amazing read!!

It's been a remarkable character study.

However, I think you need to clarify what exactly Jessica has done to our protagonist that made him hate her so much, other than just name-calling and moderate public embarrassment. This can be done through flashbacks, prologues, etc. I have a hard time understanding what still fuels for his hatred of Jessica. Its the one tiny, nearly invisible fault in your story so far.

Still, i'd give you 100/5 stars if I could.

The story of Jessica and Steven has made me aroused and heart-broken, mostly aroused however. Your descriptions are perfection, they let me enter the man's mind in the world of BDSM and leave me drooling for more! Please please please publish your next chapter soon! This series is the best erotic series I've read and I cannot wait for the 5th chapter. And kudos on the name choices;)

Sincerely,

Jessica

I disagree with the idea that you need to have flashbacks explaining the hatred Steven has for Jessica. The people asking for it have obviously never been bullied.

I love how you make consent very important to the main character. There is place in fiction for non-consent, but I'm glad this is not only a story where everybody is consenting, but also one that makes the Dom's fear of breaking the consent a central part of the chracterdevelopement.

As alway great, although I was a little disappointed with the low number of setpieces.

"Some people have never been bullied" Three things:

Don't presume you know what anybody's life was like. You just come off sounding arrogant.

A trait of good storytelling is that the author explains the motivation of the protagonist in a thorough and believable manner.

Even if anybody has lived a perfect life without being bullied, are they not allowed to provide feedback? The author listens to the audience, male or female, any color, any race, young and old, bullied or not bullied.

The best chapter yet, and call me a weakling but it had me in tears. You are an amazing writer, and I hope that you continue this amazing story.

Fantastic read as usual. Absolutely love your character portraits. Hope there's a chapter in the pipeline that involves more use of Steven's new toys.

I've been following this story for a while now, and I think you are an amazing writer. This chapter is equal parts hot and gripping... And not just in the sexual sense. I love the conflict Steven is going through. Him still hating Jessica makes me sad a little because I'm a sucker for happy endings, but at the same time it is completely realistic. Makes me wonder what was it that she did that made him loathe her so, but I think her heartbreaking acceptance is a way for her to pay the price. But like I said, I'm a sucker for happy endings, so I hope they will work it out in the end.

I notice that a few commenters mentioned about people finding out... I have to say, the idea of it makes me wary. It feels like Steven and Jessica still have to deal with a lot of things in regards to their relationship as it is... People knowing about it would be so messy, I feel like. And i want them to work these things out first. But it is tempting to see how Steven would handle the added complication, how he would treat Jessica following that, and how this would ultimately affect them. But I think it'll just get messy, and I'm not sure I want them to go through that yet.

I'm rambling. Please continue writing this until the end! I look forward to the next chapter.

This series is the best i have read on this site, it pulls you in and makes everything feel so real. You are an amazing author, keep up the fantastic work.

I think years of bullying as described in the first chapter is a way better motivation for his feelings than a single event ever could be. I know there has been some foreshadowing in this chapter for a single terrible thing that happened in the past, I just don't think that's necessary.

I also didn't mean to take away someone's right to give feedback I only wanted to provide a counterpoint.

i love this story but i do really want to encourage you to think twice when using words like 'faggot.' that's an incredibly hateful term, no matter what the context, and really took me out of what was a pretty lustful trance reading this.

Fantastic story. I hope he gets with Becky (while still fucking Jessica). Keep up the good work.

This is a genuinely brilliant story. I noticed you said it takes a while to work up the confidence to write, but I certainly hope you find that confidence again. It would be a damn shame to see this story go to waste, because it's possibly the best I've seen on this site and quite a few others. The characters were tangible, the plot believable and the lemon scenes delectable.

My only complaint is that last part about cultural pressures, it seemed kind of solicitous to me. It's like those romantic comedies that are really pushing awareness about global warming. It didn't fit at all and made the scene uncomfortable. I bring it up because it doesn't seem very important for him to ramble on about it ut if your goal was to convince people that sex is okay and our society knows nothing about it then that's fine too. I just don't like how it takes away from the mood and it was a real let-down.

Don't let my nit-picky attitude get you down though. You have real talent, and I was blown away with how this turned out. Wherever you go, whatever you do, always keep a pen with you. Something tells me a lot of people would appreciate it.

Thank you for posting another chapter. I love this story. - thanks - Tatum

This is an amazing story and I can't wait to see how it uncovers

your story is really good.

This story is amazing. You don't ignore the complex emotions of their relationship. Some authors would just make them both content, and solve their issues without giving them the care they deserve. You've managed to make the sex scenes PHENOMENAL and their relationship just as good. This is a level of character developement that is hard to find in erotic literature. I applaude your writing, good sir/ma'am/anywhere in between.

Also, on one last note, an earlier commentor mentioned that the way you inserted the double standard of sex into the story seemed misplaced and forced. I wanted you to know that I disagree. I could see that he, as a character, is logical, and he wanted to comfort her. Therefore, he tried to comfort her with logic. It made a lot of sense to me, as an event between them.

Thank you for the amazing story parts so far. I hope you will go on writing, the next one's can not get that bad i hope I will see more of your beautiful stories.

Aw comon when is chapter 5 coming out :( This story had me hot and bothered from page 1 ! dont stop! Im BEGGING ;)

I really enjoy your writing. What I enjoy about your writing is how you tell a story. It makes me actually imagine what I'm reading to somehow come to life in my head. Well done. I do hope you return to finish this story and continue on with writing others.

...more direct, constructive criticism this time!

I think your portrayals of Jessica's and Steven's thoughts about their relationship, themselves, and each other ring quite true. You do a very nice job there. But two things occurred to me reading this chapter, particularly as the pair talked about culture and sexuality.

One, though it's often been alluded to in the past, Steven's wandering mind that picks up and learns whatever interests him, intellectually my read on him prior to this chapter was a sort of intellectual laziness and the lack of substance and understanding that usually brings. Sure, he wasn't stupid or anything, but for many people who just take a hummingbird approach to learning, the wisdom they get from it if any is usually fleeting and shallow as well. So while I think Steven's insights on sluts and slut shaming (though truthfully, they're hardly pioneering) were interesting, I also think that perhaps some background on this would've made it more plausible. Does that make sense? Some scenes in the past of Steven having varied and unsuspected hobbies and interests and skills, the sort of thing that would be imparted by such a wandering interest as his. Such as-just an example-he might know a lot about Latin cooking, perhaps, while also being something of a layman-expert on, I don't know, forecasting and why it works and when it doesn't. Does that make sense? Then it might not seem so out of character for him to have a penetrating insight (pun intended) on Jessica's feelings of shame. Though I do note in this chapter that as we start to see the pair more out of the bedroom, you already begin to do this.

Listen buddy, I've been an accomplished Master for over a decade. I've trained many pets but never have I came across one like Jessica. I am utterly in love with this girl. Another chapter would be greatly appreciated. You have fans that can't be disappointed!

I gave myself a hand cramp masturbating to this.

i know this doesn't pertain to this story, which is utterly fantastic btw, i just read your story Extrospection, and found it brilliant, it's been a while since you wrote the first, but it would be amazing if you picked that story up again, please

Been following this series since it's inception. I simply cannot get enough of Jessica's character and the way he dominates her. It's fantastic.

Please! I need to know when the next one is coming out.

One of my all-time favorite stories, on this site or elsewhere. Considering that I found it by clicking on the random story spinner, I feel very lucky. It's pretty rare to come across something that manages to be so intelligent and so goddamned HOT, all the way through. I adore the narration. And the dialogue! MY GOD! The fact that I happen to be a submissive named Jessica definitely didn't hurt. ;) Well done, you are so very talented and I can't wait for more.

I find myself really tore in my opinions of this series. It is incredibly written and emotional, but at the same time I find the main character to be kind of a freak. I am not referring to his sexual antics, but his social interactions and the fact that it would not surprise me if he turned into a serial killer.

That aside, I want to see this series continue, and I want to see him admit that he is falling for her. He has every reason to hate her as she tortured him for roughly 8 years, but it is also clear that he deeply cares about her. Please update soon!

Pretty please with cherries on top??

I've waited until the end of this series to post anything, which was unbelievably hard, by the way, and I am so glad that I did. I went through almost every emotion while reading through this series from laughing along with the characters to squirming in my seat during the more intimate scenes. An absolutely captivating story that I'm happy to have had the pleasure to read.

Thank you, Sir

I really enjoyed this story and hope to see it continued! It would be cool to find out more of his memories of being bullied by her as you hinted at some specific stuff that is haunting him and keeping him from letting go of the hurt from his past. It would also be interesting to find out more about why she is the way she is (why she treats others badly). I would love to see his sisters reaction if she finds out about them. Of course it would also be fun to see him use all of his new toys too! Not sure if it's what you have planned but seeing them work through the problems of their past and form a relationship would be so nice. I love how realistic you portray your characters and their complicated emotional landscapes. This is perhaps the best story of a budding dom I've ever read and I can't wait to see what you do next!

Thank you for sharing your writing with us. You are far more skilled than most of the highly rated writers on lit. Your plot, character development, descriptions, and voice are engaging and thought provoking. Many writers here tell good stories, but without any depth to the narrative, just stating things that happened. You write such that I experience the story on an intellectual level, rather than just hear it.

I started reading lit years ago to become more comfortable with sex and my own sexuality. This is the first story where I'm really starting to understand bdsm. I identify with both Steven and Jessica and feel like their growth and progression is very realistic. They both seem like normal people to me, unlike some of the other commenters, and although I haven't experienced any bdsm activities, my own sexual growth is not dissimilar in trajectory, if delayed and overall vanilla. When you operate primarily from an intellectual standpoint, not knowing how to practically enable a complete mind/ body connection, and thus divorced from emotion somewhat, the mental processes involved in this story are realistic, without implying sociopathy.

Well written story and I love the unique narrator. I don't appreciate the derogatory use of the word faggot. It's not necessary and is insulting. Other than that I really enjoyed it and would love to read more as he explores his new toys etc.

...me as well. I thought awhile about what my real reaction to that was. In the end, I decided that it was not unlikely that a young high school woman, presumably of the 90s-00s, would use that term in this way to express an unmanly femininity in a man like Mike, in this way. It is distasteful, to be sure, but I can at least he fairly confident it is true to the voice of the characters.

I think the only other times it came up was from Mike or Jessica, earlier in the story, both not ironically using it to describe their own ugly, arbitrary contempt for Steven.

I've faithfully waited for the requisite 4 months before demanding an update. i'm demanding one now.

please?

pretty please?

for the 4th time and it never gets old patiently waiting for more

has this story been abandoned?? say it isn't so.

As an avid reader of the Rebellious Slave & a couple of other multi chapter delights, I came across this mini series by accident. I'm so glad I did. It's well written & I do hv to remind myself sometimes of their ages but their emotional journey is gripping and am loving the sex bits too;-)

I just hope you manage to continue, especially as I'd like them to work out, they clearly hv so much potential together if he can just overcome his issues & move on.

I'm waiting patiently.

Please write more.

this is my favorite story. please please please write more

This story is the best story on the whole site. 3rd time reading and it is still good. Please write more. PLEASE

I have read the Rebellions Slave and after reading the series I found this great little collection of chapters.

A damn good read of teenage sexual awaking and experiences.

keep up the good work.

I hope you know how amazing and inspiring your writing is. You have a gift.

Thank you!!

This is one of the greatest stories I've ever read. So well written. Thankyou so much for this incredible piece of work

I've been hooked on this all day. Freaking fantastic. I'm in Jessica's head in a way I've never experienced with a book character, and I read a LOT. From several genres...

This is the best damn love story I've ever seen. I can't wait to read more!

I don't typically read stuff like this, but your story has quickly become one of my favorites of all time. I am in love with your characters and can see myself in them so much more than in any other books I read. You really have a gift for storytelling.

Thank You!

Damn it was freaking amazing

One of the hottest things I've read on Lit. You really give life to these characters and explain their thoughts and emotions so well. Thanks for writing this.

Aaahhh half of me wants him to fall for her and the other half doesn't. Loving this story!

You are amazing writer!!"

HOW??

How do you keep writing chapter after chapter, each one getting better and better - or at least not degrading in quality?? This has become one of my Top 3 FAVORITE stories/series EVER! (And that's saying a LOT!)

Keep up the great work!

PS. I'm wondering if you're really a famous mainstream author whose real name I might recognize. Yeah. You're just that good!

X-Man

I have enjoyed this very much right up until the double standards bullcrap. I am likely older than the author and really appreciate that this isn't a supernatural situation or worse incest BUT the moment he goes off saying that women aren't supposed to enjoy sex, is nonsense. I grew up in the 1980's and women were taught to enjoy sex then. My parents grew up in the 50/s they too were taught to enjoy sex. The BULLSHIT is this idea that we are supposed to run around screwing everything in sight. Harnessing sexual desire with monogamy is what build the west. Get married young and fuck like rabbits! Have LOTS of sex and LOTS of babies!!!! My wife passed away recently and I cannot bring myself to date but for the love of all that is good, wait for marriage (men and women) and then have all your sexual awakenings with the same person. Like this couple. They should have waited maybe another six months, tied the knot and been deliriously happy and in love. My wife was almost exactly like the girl in this story (minus the ridiculous hottness, she had only ever kissed another guy, I was a little more experienced but still only kissing), we discovered all our kinks together in our late teens and early twenties. It was great! Sex became the reward for the drudgery of the human condition, it sanctified our sacrifices for one another. She became a Nurse Practitioner, and I joined the military. We helped each other through college and laughed at the idea that we were boring. We knew we were having more and better sex than any one else our age.