- Non-Erotic Poetry
- Mozzarella Death
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Click hereSometimes I dream my self
In a Fellini film: The City Of Women.
An aimless drifter
With a mind is always fixated on sex
travelling through an erotic wonderland.
At high school, when my class mates
Were being cooped with Krep Cycle
I was sketching harmonious swellings
Of the female bodies on my note books.
When I became a young man
Sleep, food and sex were
Three stools of my life.
Of course, there are occupational hazards
In this hedonist life style:
Like having permanent priapism
Like chopping your cock
With a flick knife.
I think a stroke will kill me someday
With a piece of Mozzarella in my mouth
Like Federico Fellini.
Hasan Ali Tokuqin
Istanbul/Turkey
- COMMENTS
dcpoet44about 16 years agoand it's a real nice piece of erotics. it's not of the typical type ....don
KOLKOREabout 16 years agoI like the style you chose here of narrating the sensual history of your life and your fantacies. BTW - a big fan of Fellini myself; he is the big master of visual imagery -no doubt.
Angelineabout 16 years agoThis is a wonderful poem with a great sustained theme and pace. I agree with WomanPariah about the use of "stools" and there are some other language glitches that could be fixed. Nothing that mars the overall quality of your poem though. I really enjoy reading you. Your poem has been recommended in the New Poems Review thread on Literotica's Poetry Feedback and Discussion forum. Thanks for the read! :-)
WomanPariahabout 16 years agoThere's some very creative, stirring imagery here: tying all of the (nailed it!) hedonist treasures together with fixations on pleasures of the flesh and fantasies of a city of women --- it's male as male without being really ashamed of it, and I think that's sort of brave these days. <p>I have but one suggestion: I think by "three stools" you're trying to intimate three LEGS of the same stool, yes? "Stools" is a not-so-great word choice on its own (unless the speaker really does consider sleep, food and sex as ... well, you know what ... and I don't think that's what you meant, I could be wrong). <p> I see you beginning to work your way into a poet's body here, T, I really do. Keep writing: Everything you do is interesting, if not always quite poetic.
