All Comments on 'Pool Party'

by Dave32111

Sort by:
  • 5 Comments
don87654don87654almost 19 years ago
Starting......

A lot of good possibilities here, but for some reason you did not use them....

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
Excellent

Excellent story... much better than most postings here

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 19 years ago
Tense change?

Not a bad story, but you start in the past tense, then slip into the present tense. A bit confusing....

AnonymousAnonymousabout 13 years ago

Like the story, sounds more like you actually belong together, like it was something you both wanted for a long time. Would like a follow up. What happened after that day? Did you start dating?

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I wish it were me you invited over.

Anonymous
Our Comments Policy is available in the Lit FAQ
Post as:
Anonymous