by getket
I liked the start of the story. Couple of rough spots in there with grammer/spelling that detracted from the story. On the whole, I'm looking forward to the next part.
I really liked your story. Can't wait for part 2,3,etc.
And by the way, I'm not a teacher, so I don't care about the typos. You just keep writing. Thank you.
Excellent starting story, too bad it ended so quickly... perhaps a bit more sexual detail might be good too.
Good start. Get a grammer and spelling checker. Make it longer with more sex.
Not a bad job for the first story. The grammar and typos were kind of a pain and were taking away from the edge of the story but other than that, it was good. Looking forward to the next parts.
Hey 'not a bad start' you said there were some "spelling/grammer" errors. Did you mean "grammar"?
Great story line.Cannot wait to hear the next chapter(s). Keep up the good work.
What a marvelous foundation you've layed. The door stands open to any variation one can imagine. Please continue. Don't be concerned with the comments of amateur grammarians. You will improve with practice. The story is the thing. It's why we're all here.
This story is amazing, but I guess you're done because it's already 2009. I do agree with others that the spelling and grammar detracted from the story, but don't worry, the story is still leaving me on the edge of my seat...
when is No 2 mmmmm really nice and got me really horny. good on ya.
A well written erotic story. You had a punctuation problem & I didn't know if you intended to put "Mean" (as at first, Megan wasn't nice to you) or you just forgot to put the "g" in it. You could of gave more details, like whereas Megan went back into a trance. But over all, an erotic story. I want to come back for a Ch. 02 and want to applaud for the continuing of more chapters...
ths is a good start to a seemingly great storyline. don't let the grammar and spelling get you down. but, please continue with your writing, I'd love to see more chapters.
You're keeping us hanging! When are you going to write the next chapter? This was pretty good!
Love these kind of hypnosis stories can't wait to see if theres more.
Was going for the next chapter, there wasn't one. Then I saw it's been 7 years since this was posted. :(
Label a story Chapter 1 when you could leave it blank and Number the next Chapters
I Agree. I hate it when I run into a story that catches my interest and then just leaves me hanging. Maybe we need a writer who finds these old hanging stories and then finishes them. Any takers?
Cletis there is a writer who calls himself "FinishTheDamnStory" but he said he is Back Logged. the shame is this writer has a good story going with a lot of Potential. think of the Girl's and Women he could have at his beck and Call.
When will chapter 2 come out hopefully Brian gets his full revenge on Megan