and all the better for it! Thanks for sharing!
this verse grabs the mind with a multitude of images...ty...blue
the harsh orb meets horizon
to take it’s final bow
I see days past more clearly
as darkness soothes my brow
This is tighter than your other poem above, and has the feeling of melancholy I think you tried to write into it. Suicide is a hard thing to write about without going astray somewhere. It is not easy to keep a proper separation from the words as a writer must. It seems you like internal rhyme, but here i think you should reconsider, since it doesn't seem to jive with the theme and may give some readers a soothing feeling that will hide what you are truly writing about.
No comma needed, I don't think, after 'contemplating.'
one's = ones
clouds = clouds'
it's = its
that has been written about much, but yet you do a very nice job in handling it. i too like the 3rd stanza......nicely done......don
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