All Comments on 'Beautiful Girl'

A good start but it needs continuation. If he likes you better than your Mommy, then he needs to say it. And if he is your step-daddy, perhaps the two of you can make another life (a third one) together so that he will always have a reason to visit in the future even if he breaks up with your Mommy.

Old story, not very well told.

Hi Don, Escaped from the asylum? And not cured from the idea that all woman should be pregnant and by default not by their husband?

This story is not incest.

It belongs in cheating

...but it was over too soon. For the purposes of a short story, the ending was appropriate and strong. However, since you're writing for an audience, you have to consider the fact that abruptly halting the story the way you did is almost unfair in a way.<br><br>The dialogue was good, the writing was particularly strong (barring the occasional typo), but the story itself was lacking. Personally, I would've liked to see it continue, escalate, climax, and <i>then</i> finish. True, you can choose to write it in installments, but this installment, while intriguing, was far too short to be overly engaging.<br><br>I really hope you choose to continue, and don't listen to the person who said "this isn't incest," or whatever. The category is "incest/taboo," and even the step-father/daughter pairing is considered illegal and off-limits in most parts of the free world. The taboo is there, but the rest is up to you.<br><br>Best of luck in the future.