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addict

bySunrockSin©
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by Anonymous

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by LeBroz02/28/08

██

There's so much taste up on display today, though this one leaves much to the reader's mind.

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by 03/02/08

addict

I think the poem is a -powerful- image from the beginning to the end, but the formatting is a bit of a misfire for me. I realize what you're doing with the arrangement, juxtaposing the fizziness againist the numbness of addiction, it's very clever. However, this poem feels too serious to have such playful line breaks. Maybe this poem is a good candidate for illustrated poetry? I still love it though, enjoy your writing. Thanks.

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by Bill Dada03/04/08

^

Your stuff could be addictive. To me the formatting doesn't seem so much playful, but more like the shakes addicts often get.

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