by ekm5
Remember, you're writing for sex-crazed literary critics. We want both. You've given us the second, please provide the first, soon!
i want mooooooooooore..! Plz continue the storyyyyyyyyyy and i hope it has a little bdsm in it, cos abthony seems to be dominant.. Anyway yumm
Plz write more i was just starting to really like this then it stopped i love how you have started slow lettin us get to know the characters first plz write more soon :) x
If you are not going to finish why did you start. If I wanted to be teased I would go elsewhere.
as a proponent of the lady and the tiger endings, I can really appreciate this story, BUT, please follow up with the seduction and consummation.
What concisely descriptive writing you have. And the set-up - wow, I can see so many possibilities for the storyline. I'm very much looking forward to seeing the direction that you take this. The chapter was frustratingly short, though. Frustration can be a powerful thing...hopefully you won't leave us all hanging too long.
It's a well paced, descriptive start. Interested to see how you will progress, and what path your story, and you, will walk down. Looking forward to reading more.
Publishing several pages at once will get a more favorable response, which your writing skill deserves.
Caught me from the beginning. You have a lot of talent. I look forward to reading more.
...where's the next page? This isn't how you end a chapter. Chapters are sequential fiction, and you need a hook to convince the reader to continue reading.
"What happens next?" is what every storyteller wants to hear from the audience.
But I'll read the second chapter, just to see if the story improves.