All Comments on 'Not Quite Meatless'

Far too much bullshit about the popish religion.

I am sorry that the previous commenter thinks I spent too much time of the Catholic religion but I felt it was important for the bit of humor in the title. Oh well you cannot please everyone.

This isn't happening in real time - so don't describe it in that manner

Nothing wrong with your character being Catholic, or taking being Catholic seriously, but she doesn't seem to mind committing adultery

Not at all clear how Robert knew Kathy was so ready to have sex, and it sounds like his sex life/family situation is a bit kinky. Perhaps as a matter of story telling it would be better that you not get into that - it is a distraction from the main story line (which is getting Kathy fucked)

disappointed. I had hoped for better than a sophomoric, not to say high school freshmanic, attempt at a joke. Nevertheless, hope triumphing over experience, I offer these quibbles:

"best friends parent's house": should be “best friend’s parents’ house”. Apostrophe here signifies possession. It is the house of the parents of her best friend.

Janice's mother, Kimberly will”: Should be Janice's mother, Kimberly, will”. Mother Kimberley is in apposition; set her off with commas, as you consistently do later on.

“Even after over 20 years,”: Clumsy, jarring. Try this: “Even after more than 20 years.”

“the couch watching video tapes.” Comma after “couch”, thus: “the couch, watching video tapes.” Unless, of course, the couch was watching video tapes.

“couple inches”: No, couple of inches, partitive genitive.

“to loan her one of his shirts.”: No, he lent her (no pun intended) a shirt. “Loan” is a noun. “Lend” is a verb, of which "lent" is past tense.

“couple months ago”: No, couple of months ago. See above.

“her cloths”: I take it you mean “her clothes”.

“she is discrete”: No, she is discreet, that is, circumspect, careful to observe the proprieties. “Discrete” means separate, individual--“the story was written in discrete installments”.

“It is part of being discrete.” Do you mean separate, or do you mean circumspect? Please explain.

“He smiles had the hard firm erection that leads the way.” What does this mean? Did you mean “He smiles as the hard firm erection leads the way.”? Or did you mean something else? Whatever it is you did mean, as you wrote it, your sentence doesn’t say it, or rather, at least doesn’t say it in English.

“moon light”: should be”moonlight”.

“Kathy gives herself over to her passions and her body is rocked with a big "O".”: Has Kathy no hymen? Even if she doesn’t, or had lost it otherwise than by sexual intercourse, my suspension of disbelief crashes, because “no pain, no gain”. No pain? Not likely. Unless, of course, ol’ Kathy had theretofore savored the marriage meatloaf at another diner.

While I do not go so far as the anonymous commenter who derides the “popish” religion (what a quaint phrase, so 16th Century), the build-up to what you consider a joke is far too much wind-up for far too little baseball. The “joke”, if such it may be called, is jejune.

The plotline, however, could have been interesting; you made it tedious.The characters could have told a much better story, if you had let them. I am sorry you did not do better, as I have prepared these quibbles in hopes of a better story.

Of course, whether I praise or dispraise a story, I always sign my comments with my handle. Anonymous comments are generally snide, or altogether worthless.