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All Comments on 'Triple D Deb Takes an Airplane Trip'

by ColeTrain

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UnknownAuthorUnknownAuthorabout 13 years ago
Not bad

I like where the story is going, but overall the flow seemed off. For instance you can't start a paragraph with "Which" refering to the last sentence of the previous paragraph. It leaves the subject hanging. Other than that, I will keep an eye out for the next chapter.

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userColeTrain@ColeTrain
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