The story has potential but your grammar and sentence structure is horrible. Take your time with the story I'm feeling you rush it and that bits and pieces are missing. I suggest that you get an editor.
Click here to leave your own comment on this submission!
orBack to When David Calls
orMore submissions by alexcarr.
Edit comment orSubmit Comment
Comment posted successfully - click here to view it or write another.
Title of your comment:
Your public comment about When David Calls:
Please type in the security codeYou may also listen to a recording of the characters.
Title your feedback:
Your feedback to alexcarr:
If you would like a response, enter your email address in this box:
Feedback sent successfully - click here to write another.
Login or Sign Up
All contents © Copyright 1998-2012. Literotica is a trademark. No part may be reproduced in any form without explicit written permission.
Terms Of Services|Report A Problem|Privacy
Password:Forgot your password?
Your current user avatar, all sizes:
You have a new user avatar waiting for moderation.
Select new user avatar:
Upload and save
User avatar uploaded successfuly and waiting for moderation.