All Comments on 'Josh's Journal Ch. 03'

more please I keep watching for new stories from you I love your work its amazing.

what I think Anon was trying to say is the story would have been better with details. I have a journal of my own & I don't just skim over what's happening, I write it as I experience it. This is a great concept, its just too impersonal, almost robotic. If you can fix that, then this series would definitely be a winner, in my opinion.

Seriously, I love this series but the chapters are way too short and there isn't enough action in each one. Please make them longer or more frequent. I want to know what happens. It's been three chapters and only like 2 things have happened. :(

I think you should remove that comment that called you a bitch. That's uncalled for.

I love your story just as it is. I think the pace is perfect. Obviously the guy is not going to go from being straight to being gay all at once. You have to lead up to that kind of thing. As for lack of detail, I didn't really notice that. I enjoyed it very well as told.

Can't wait for the next chapter. Keep going!

comments like the one from avidreader are ridiculous since she is a female and you are writing from a male perspective with a clearly different journalling style. The pace is reasonable and considering you always deliver the erotic element eventually and well those comments are ridiculous too. Keep it up, I know the payoff will be worth it in the end.

I also journal and have for over 20 yrs. I agree that this style, which some see as not detailed enough, is appropriate for a guy. I don't think it is a stereotype to say women would put more details in and go into their feelings more. That is a true difference between the sexes, for the most part. Most guys wouldn't delve into their inner-most thoughts.

I also think the speed at which he's experiencing different sexual thoughts that could lead to a different sexual orientation are appropriate. I agree that a guy who is captain of the football team (even if they're losers:) who has so much attention from women and has to live up to the stereotype of captain isn't going to change overnight. Most people wouldn't. They'd find themselves questioning some things, thinking some things they might not understand. So, I like that it's gradual. I think it's appropriate that he'd tell himself that his frequent thoughts of Ayden are about his hating the kid has to be bullied and have a bad home life.

I do think that his saying the same words about 'hating that Ayden has to put up with the bullying' is a bit too repetitive and that it would serve to have a bit more examples of this bullying to make it more exciting and real. I'm looking for more examples like when he was on the field and the guys grabbed him. I want to see more events like that.

So, keep up the good work and maybe add in more detailed events. I think the writing style (of Josh) is appropriate. Create situations that are emotional and force us to feel what Josh is feeling for Ayden.

Have you people never read The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole?

Josh is absolutely believable as a sympathetic teenage jock - the tone of the narration is perfect. The story is unfolding gently with an appropriate amount of detail for this style. Similarly, in my opinion the pacing of the sexual discovery is just right. Good things come to those who wait!!

"That seemed to disappoint her. So I'm pretty sure she was trying to get on a reality show." LOL!!!

DULL DULL DULL ...

Anon 7 years ago,

You know what's dull? Your pathetic attempt at dropping constructive criticism.

Good luck getting that confidence to type it at the moment where everyone else can criticize you back, bud.

Avidreader,

You have to be spending too much time if you write all the details in your own journal/diary.

Must be a crazy amount spent doing that everyday if that's the case. I don't think it's an actual issue in this type of format.