by theshyguy1234
You could have drawn it out a little more and went into further detail. Also, is this a fantasy or a "true" experience?
Nicely written but a bit too short. How could there have ben any more you ask. Well for one thing you could have spent some long moments eating that pussy that you described as smelling so good. But on the whole--or butt on the hole-- this is a good tale and you should continue to write and post your work.
Thank you for taking the time to comment.
This is neither a "true" story or fantasy.
Well, maybe somewhat of a fantasy as I did play the situation out in my head.
Yes, story could been much longer and more detail.
This is my first story ever (not just here at Lit) and was not easy for me to complete as much as I have.
Hopefully with more time and experience at writing, the details in my head will flow easier to the page.
Thank you again for your comments, I appreciate them and any other I can get, they should help me in my future stories.
I enjoyed it. I was surprised by the story and by a couple of misspelled words. The story line was unusual and prompted some thinking about how the rest of their lives together would be...
Thanks.
You obviously need to proofread your story and get a better understanding of spelling. That kind of killed it for me, otherwise the story line was okay and somewhat exciting. If this is your first time writing, I don't guess you did too bad. Learn to spell and proofread or pay someone to do it for you on your next story, it matters.
Great story. Would love to have mine or her do that to me.
There's the divorce to make sure the bitch knows he didn't appreciate getting anally raped. Maybe some jail time for her? Badly done drivel.