All Comments on 'Consequences, Sandy Ch. 04'

with people so spread out it just becomes on big swinging group and not a true family commune. There were so many of them in the late 60s and 70s but few actually survived very long at all and most were just cover for drug use. Better fleshing out would make it more realistic and believable.

with the previous comment. I don't find much romance in this story. It seems that there is one major alpha male, making the relationships uneven among the men, no matter what was being said. What about jealousy? It will raise its head, no matter what is being said, no matter what is being done. And... what about the 'grandpa' in the story? Is he left out of having sex? Seems unfair to me. Not enough was done about the school incident. What about home schooling? How quickly the other two women decided to join in... not too realistic, especially the school teacher. I'll be nice and give it a 3 but it could have been so much more.

Enjoying the tale. Is there more to come (the ending seems incomplete)?

Note, you tend to hyphenate needlessly, unless it is a deliberate style. Examples - "Good-Night" and "Good-Bye" for "goodnight" and goodbye".

the commune beckons and the call is strong. TK U MLJ LV NV

Like the eighteen wheeler that loses its breaks going down hill -

This group is suffering from mass accelerating maybe too quickly - maybe a better analogy is a pack mentality where people see a happy pack and just want some - the clear presence of a single alpha make and female becomes a sticking point on the holistic equality concept.

Everyone is an equal partner just Nick and Sandy a little bit more equal, it is hopefully going to grow far enough to become a real community (not commune as noted below) and that would hold thew inertia for continued life. Imagine Ms. Clinton's "Village" in a complete sense, true sharing of all of life's need's,wants, dreams??

Is the human animal capable of such altruism? Can people actually learn to think of the other person first in large numbers - history suggest no way - Scorp seems to like to say maybe yes -

I wish he might be right -

Looking forward to the nest chapter -

I think it's getting a bit too cluttered though. I think there need to be more men and they need to establish other residences. Maybe even separate Loving Families, maybe modeleld on this one. That way Nick isn't the Alpha male in the story.

I really enjoyed it. I have always liked stories about group marriages since I first read "Stranger in a Strange Land". Several other comments advised changing the story line and I disagree strongly. I think you are an excellent writer and I have read most of your stories. Please keep on writing.

Why not just close down the whole town, redefine the city/towns laws to the new way of thinking, because the way your going/gone with this tale/story, fun or not, it's got way out of hand. Finish this, I give you 2 stars on this one.

Good story why didn't you finish it?????

All 4 chapters, and you never mentioned future children. You also didn'the Finnish the story. What'so up with that?

I don't mind exploring the polyamory concept and how it is laid out. However, going hog wild with 8 women in the family and possibly more coming (pun intended) borders too much onto cult status and I wait for Brother Jim or Brother Matthew to start out. Keep it sane and simple. A few loved wives is fine but leave the herd in the pasture.

All this group sex and now we have no ending. With all the group sex why hasn't someone turned up pregnant. What will Nick say if Bill or John knock up Sandy. I don't believe he would be thrilled and it would all fall apart at that point. This story rings of the Hate Ashbury era where free love prevailed. As one of the commenters said "Finish the Dam Story". But at 8 years since this chapter was added it will probably never be completed. Like as I said at the end of chapter 2 the story should have been concluded.

They are expanding too much. They are not anticipating problems .

This has started to sound like most good family run business, they get to big to quick, then they get brought out by someone bigger who see's a good thing and it all goes to pot,

As a plot I love it but it's got longer on more and more things are too easy to do, money is no object in this, but it does sound as if at least one of them is seeing how it's going to implode if something isn't done, and soon.

I'v just looked and found that this was published long ago, and no follow up has bee posted, I feel thats such a shame,