by cckuay
You obviously have never been in a real fight or ever witnessed one. Although you try your descriptions just don't seem realistic or likely. And that simply ruins the story. Lacking clever writing or smart dialogue this just wasn't interesting or entertaining to read. And after all, isn't that why we read? To be entertained? This was a failure.
You need to delete this story or point out that this story and the next 2 parts are now named Worst Case. I was disappointed there was no part 2 until I figured out the similarities between the stories.