All Comments on 'Because Everyone Loves a Winner'

The repetition of certain words (easy, plum moment, gold, five year friends, again) gives it the feeling of being an inner dialogue. The story is told, but not overtold. There are mysterious elements, like five year and seven year friends (what does that mean? that they failed school - one assumes, but is there something else to this?) the gold tooth which seems incongruous. The amount of anger packed into this enormous, and accomplished with the simple contrast of easy, easy, and the alternative reality of looking for warlords and aid trucks. Somalia. Liberia. Sudan. Could be any number of places that Ibrahim and his family survived - only to be taken down by a fight, a push - the final straw. Very powerful.

and what have you done for me lately, TK U MLJ LV NV

the repetitions and dialogue give it an uneasy disquiet and simmering violence. Really good stuff Dora,

goes on a little too long

blueblack fist sailed

like thunder right into the high eye...

good fight commentary

now the last stanza is jarring enough, separating out "a compliment" looks like overkill, don't know if better as last line, or if moved up to the last line

5ed

This one really caused me to read and read again. Far beyond the vivid scene of bullying, cruel taunts, and comeuppance is a tragedy.

Cardinal Hayes High School is an actual school in the Bronx, so that one has to wonder if it (the story/prose poem) is anecdotal or fictional.

Aid trucks and warlords? (something and gangmembers?)

The line 'Martin of the goldless ...' (easy to see this as Godless) '...aiming him for traffic' (irretrievable street...busy?)

Did Ibrahim die in the street at the same time as his siblings two blocks over?

I post with the feeling that there is still much missed but enjoyed just the same.

. . . . . needed

fist to bone and bright blood.

It would be easy

to bash that untracking eye

which never had to watch the horizon

for aid trucks and warlords.

i favourited this write for its strength, its harsh visuals, its emotional quality. what i won't do is read it too often, as it's harrowing.

i like that you leave the reader to decide if that push results in fatality, and the following lines leave me almost hoping it does for the boy who has been through so much already that to have to face the death of his family and the reasons for it would seem a step too far for a person's mind.

such a despairing piece. one i feel important enough to make sure i don't lose it.

I'm from NY and see and hear of stuff like this all the time. You paint a vivid picture Miss Glitters. I like this.

Late visit - another well deserved 5 added