Dean, Sean, or Stan? Multiple names for one character are worse than using the wrong words.
and read the first episode (the comments were right - it needed an editor) and, apart from the 'name' issues, this was much better. You've also set up a very intriguing scenario and I honestly hope you're able to deliver - that's why I'm going to wait for the next installment before marking this one.
but the thought of how and when is mind-boggling, TK U MLJ LV NV
Wait what is his name Dean, Sean? i mean come on here its not rocket science to keep the same name 2 chapters in a row
You make one recurring mistake that has become distracting to me. When you write the contraction of you are, you spell it your. The correct spelling is you're. Where this story seems to be heading is dominant wife/submissive husband. Not my cup of tea. You will lose me then.
Nothing like a 'boundary marker' blow-job. Better than having Mr. Happy peed on, like a bush! Or cut off, like a Lorena!!
don't care about sean dean or whatever it is a hot fucking story
Just read both chapters and can't wait to read chapter 3.
She must be. I guess they're brothers or something. Which one did she really fuck--Sean or Dean??? You need to keep your names straight and not change them from 1 chapter to another. Other than that, it's a good story. Oh, yeah...who is Stan???
I really like the way the story is going. The dominant wife topic is really hot.
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