All Comments on 'You Dirty Whore Ch. 2'

would have liked to read more about her and the older married guy

Asiantina1@yahoo.com

that was really hot and the end was really sweet i loved it

Although the general idea of this story is good I think you need to work on punctuation as it is distracting when reading it.

In particular less spelling in terms of damnnnnnn whoreeeee etc. overuse of exclamation marks and speech marks definitely need worked on.

However I enjoyed the read and very imaginative, well done

Loved the story, ain't nuttin better than a revenge fuck.....

It reminded me very much of my own relationship, to be honest, can't say I wouldn't do the same.

However, the one thing I did not like, is please learn proper quotation, it was rather distracting and irritating to have action and verbal statements intermingled.

LEARN HOW TO USE YOUR APOSTROPHES AND COMMAS. It's really distracting and truly detracts from the story.

Overall your story was so good but the random Capitol letters and the bad punctuaion really distracted me if u fix those this story will be A real favourite of everyone!!!!! Also I realize this is a bit hipocritical considerin the state of this comme t However the iphone e I'm using is hard to work!

FIX YOUR GRAMMER!!!!!!!!!

I enjoyed the story, but it was spoiled for me by incorrect punctuation and grammar, and the use of words that sound the same but are wrong. It's a good idea to keep the same point of view - are you writing as "I" or third person? and tense - is it present or past?

I enjoyed this story and I imagined every scene in my head, I want my boyfriend to do this to me sooo badly! He's already very jealous, I could easily make him angry just by wearing something skimpy to the store...yeah then maybe he will have to punish me...Anyway thanx for a great story!

Good story but will be better with some editing for grammar and spelling and makinf sure it's consistent between both parts. Great job on the first part and most of the second!

The idea of your story is decent. The execution on the other hand needs work. The way you quote is confusing and distracting, so much so I almost closed out the story. Too many exclamation points, and quotes in the wrong way.

The point of view or pov was suddenly changed. That takes you out of the story. You can have first person and suddenly come in with 3rd person and narrate, although I will say your third person was probably better executed.

Overall a decent story, but could have more depth and layers into the sex scenes too.